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What's up what's up what's up I've become a sl*t
May 21, 2006
5:15 pm
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Anonymous
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So, let me just say that I have been with Mr. P for the last 10 months and have thought about marrying him and so forth. Lately, things have not been going well. I wasn't getting the kind of attention that I needed and we were fighting all the time. I know I did a HORRIBLE thing, but I went and cheated on him.

I know I know I know. So let's hear this story. I went to Vail for the weekend for a work conference, a guy from work, who just works in the same program not the same department, and I hit it off pretty well. It was really nice to have that attention that I craved. It was nice to feel pretty and liked and all that jaz. Well then, we came back from Vail went out of a couple of times and attempted to have sex.

I call it attempted sex because he couldn't get it hard and nothing happened.

OKAY OKAY, so I left limpy's place and went home. He wanted me to stay and talk and hang out, but I got all weirded out, Missed Mr. P (because at the time we were on a break) and went home.

SECOND TIME, Mr. P and I are off the break and trying to work things out. I got really drunk one night and slept with the hot 21 year old downstairs. Now I KNOW this was HORRIBLE to do. I think it was because Mr. P was nagging me about hanging out with those guys anyways and so I guess it just made me want to hang out with them more. I know it was bad bad bad.

Here is my thought. I am not going to tell Mr. P because I do NOT want him knowing. I know he will leave and I KNOW that is selfish and he has a right to know but in all honesty, if he cheated on me, and felt how I feel now where I have realized i actually do want to work things out with him and not be with other people, then i wouldn't want to know either.

Is that totally wrong thinking?

May 21, 2006
6:05 pm
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revelation
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Hi Aces!!

Good to here from you!

My I give an honest opinion? Sounds to me hun like you are not ready for a serious relationship yet. And this relationship with Mr. P sounds just as toxic as the last relationship you had. You are fighting all the time and taking breaks? Aces, you are such a lovely bubbly girl...but come on...you deserve more than that. Girl, I don't think you've given your soul and your self-esteem enough time to recover from the last nightmare...if you get your self-esteem sorted out first then you won't keep on getting into unsuitable relationships.

AND...you need to sit down and ask yourself what you want? Do you just want a series of casual relationships for the moment...or do you want love/marriage/children...if its the latter...then you need to take a break and take care fo yourself or you'll ultimately end up alone. Just my opinion...you don't have to listen. Sorry to be harsh, but its just that I'm in the phase now where I'm taking my time and building up my self-esteem after all of the head-abuse I've been through. There is no way I'd attempt to get into a relationship now, although I could easily go out there and do it...but, nah...my heads not in the right place yet...and neither is yours by the sound of it!

xx,
Rev.

May 21, 2006
6:06 pm
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revelation
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Oh...and stop beating yourself up as well...there are enough people who'll do that for you, don't do it to yourself. You are not a slut.

May 21, 2006
6:32 pm
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codep
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aces I agree with rev..sounds like you need some "you" time. Think really hard about what you want in life and where you ultimately want to be and make decisions that will lead you on the right road to that destiny.
And you are not a slut, dont talk to yourself that way you deserve love, respect and acceptance start with yourself! I've been there 😉

May 21, 2006
6:36 pm
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bonni
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It is my opinion that until there is a ring on your finger, you are not married. If you aren't married, then you are not technically committed, unless you have made an explicit promise to be exclusive.

If you had unprotected sex with anyone, I think that some disclosure is required before having unprotected sex with someone.

A drunken one-night stand does not a slut make. I do agree that Rev (as always) is right.

bonni

May 21, 2006
6:55 pm
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Anonymous
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Thanks guys, I needed to hear that. I just felt so bad about it.

Rev: This relationship is actually better than the one with Mr. Jack. Mr. P is really nice. He does things for me, granted he has his own issues as do I , but I really do like the guy. I think we argue (over small stupid things) because I still have problems letting people tooo close.

Codep- I might need some alone time, I am just not sure. I do think that if I could do what I did with someone, I must not be ready for a truly committed relationship.

Bonni- I like your thinking. WHOOO HOOOO. ALthough I do still feel bad for what I did. I just hope it doesn't eat away at me time and time again. Ughhh.

I still even think about Mr. Jack from time to time. The good thing is that we don't ever talk to eachother anymore.

May 21, 2006
7:25 pm
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mamac
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aces & spades
I dont think anyone here would call you a slut. Dont label yourself because you feel guilty. everyone goes through these stages whether they want to admit it or not. Somtimes it involves sex somtimes other forms of intimacy. Bottom line is you need somthing he is not giving you, it it a normal human response to like attention from somone else if your not getting it at home. And somtimes it means you just need to move on. Been there myself.

May 23, 2006
7:49 am
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CAMER
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Aces, so good to hear from you!! and you are NOT a slut....but there must be things missing in your relationship for you to want to cheat...you love and crave the attention from others, maybe Mr. P is not giving you this. Maybe some alone time, and who is to say you may not cheat again if things are not going well?

Trust me, i have been there, i can't even count how many times i cheated on one of my bf's, and yes, i too craved the attention, and i did know that he wasn't giving me something that i needed.

Take time to think this one over....support is here for you girl!!

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