Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
What you don't mind, won't matter... or will it?
January 24, 2007
5:17 pm
Avatar
Juanita
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 27
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I've tried putting the old saying "What you don't mind, won't matter" into practice.

What I have found is that I turned the saying around in my head into " 'X' don't matter " and whenever I said this - to things that did matter (to me) - I ended out creating a subconscious thought within myself that "I" don't matter.

I am trying hard to over come this feeling of not mattering as I know I did it to myself.

How do you not mind something that matters without making yourself feel like YOU don't matter?

January 24, 2007
6:18 pm
Avatar
on my way
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

by separating the behavior from the person? and we don't have to fix everything?

January 24, 2007
6:21 pm
Avatar
bevdee
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 259
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Juanita,

Well, if it mattered to me, and it is not being dealt with,resolved, it would make me feel like "I" don't matter.

I guess this would be like saying my feelings and emotions don't matter.

Bevdee

January 24, 2007
7:47 pm
Avatar
bonni
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I think that if you REALLY don't mind, then it probably doesn't matter. Once you mind, then it matters.

Of course, you can't get too bogged down in the little things either. DH is the only guy in the house. I PREFER that he leave the seat down. If he forgets, I don't get bent out of shape (though one of us may have a wet bottom).

If on the other hand, its something bigger, like he's doing drugs, you SHOULD mind, because the consequences are much greater than a wet bottom.

bonni

January 25, 2007
8:35 am
Avatar
Juanita
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 27
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I think for years, to avoid conflict, if something bothered me I'd just tell myself 'it doesn't matter, don't mind it'. Now, I have to unlearn that bad habit and try to correct myself.

Gonna be hard.

thanks everyone for your input.

January 25, 2007
8:51 am
Avatar
risingfromtheashes
st regis falls, ny
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 14
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I think that perhaps your gut is telling you that it DOES matter. And that you are minimizing your own feelings.

Perhaps you need to look at it a different way.

There are things in life that we can change, and things we can't.

And the serenity prayer is perfect for these things.

What we need to do is determine what we can change and what we can't.

And learn to "accept" that which we can't change.

We don't have to tell ourselves that it doesn't matter. We don't have to deny our feelings exist about it. We don't even have to like the situation. But, we recognize that there isn't a damn thing we can do about it, so we let go of the frustration. And focus on the things we CAN change.

And the serenity prayer addresses this in that you ask your higher power to know the difference between the two.

There is a great book called "twenty five words", and has to do with the authors journey thru life using the serenity prayer as her guide after her life went to shit time and time again.

it's a small book, but very powerful, and an easy read on top of it.

It's not about saying "it doesn't matter"...but recognizing that we can't change it, so we have to let it go.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
41
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110907
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38534
Posts: 714189
Newest Members:
819Zeed, odin83, sendlv, ViolentFighterBrownCaveman, kbrfDazy, traceyob69
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer