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What was I thinking???
June 5, 2006
6:00 pm
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readyforachange
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Okay, my daughter left for her dad's on Friday for two weeks, and this weekend I was so alone and depressed...I put myself out there on an internet dating site. I have no idea what I'm doing, and now I'm getting all these emails from guys. I really just wanted to start slowly, but I am now so overwhelmed by the number of responses, I don't know where to start and how to figure out which of these guys are creeps. To make it worse, my daughter had a fight with her dad, who went out with his buddies for the first 3 nights she was with him...so she came back. So I don't feel that I'm going to have the time to answer all of these emails I'm getting. And I haven't been on a date in 20 years, so I'm scared to death.....

HELP!!!!!

June 5, 2006
6:05 pm
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smarterone
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Well i would love to say "oh dont worry", so "dont worry", not like they could come knocking at the door.
Take it one day, one hour or whenever you feel like it. I guess thats the positive part. I never did, i havent ever thought about it either. Good luck, keep us posted.

June 5, 2006
6:12 pm
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Shaney
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Hi ready :o)

Matteo's thread, "Darn ! Can I ever get out?? - Matteo" is full of great stuff. I think they've all become professional daters, and have great support for one another... and some hilarious stories too. I pop in there once in a while just to read up on their dating dilemas and successes. I'm sure they'd have wonderful advice for you.

June 5, 2006
6:18 pm
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lightchaser
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readyforachange: I know what you mean about wanting to start out slow. I haven't dated for 13 years. i reunited with a guy that I went to high school with on the internet and we are getting along great, but sometimes I just think, WHOA, SLOW DOWN! I think it is important to give ourselves the time we need and don't let anyone rush us. If it is meant to be the guy will probably be willing to take it slow. Just wanted you to know that I kind of understand where you are coming from. Did you e-mail anyone back yet? It has to be a little of an ego booster just to know how many guys responded to your profile on the site. I know we don't need a man to tell us how great we are, but once and a while it's nice to have an admirer:) Good luck with it and don't panic!

June 5, 2006
6:59 pm
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Rasputin
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Good luck Rfc! Take your time and enjoy. You deserve it!!!

~Ras~

June 5, 2006
7:13 pm
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caliseth
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dear friend:
you don´t have to worry about this now, you enjoy your responses and try to answer as much as posible, and you will see, in time, wich person has more values like yours, if they are not atracted, or want other thing, they will not be your pen pals for long. but if t someone keeps mailing and don´t push you too much, then you can know this guy is a possible, for saying so, prospect of a good date. take your time and don´t ever think about how this will start or end, don´t take the excitement out. remember, every relationship is different, so don´t be afraid to end in a heartbreak, choose the ones that you find interesting and the rest leave in peace, now it is your time, my friend!

hope you enjoy and have wonderful guys waitting for you!

June 5, 2006
7:22 pm
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Anonymous
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ready,

so what if you got 100 messages in one day.

WHO says you have to answer them all, if at all?

take you OWN sweet time...don't worry about what other's think.

If they truly are worthy, they will appreciate when you decide to contact them....and YOU won't look desperate either.

If you feel you need to answer all of them - come up with a standard reply "thanks for emailing me, I will look over your profile and get back to you if I am interested"....and then later email back ONLY the ones you are interested in.

you don't owe anyone anything....remember that....and if you choose not to reply - so what? some anonymous guy out in webspace thinks you are rude for not replying.....life is rough.

Also - be careful of the "quick to respond" ones....because many have been on that site and many others and will respond to ANY new person automatically.....no matter how incompatible they are.

many people use the site to "just look"....so don't feel bad about not responding or following up.

take this as your first chance to do things differently than before...go SLOW....and don't tolerate any man who asks you to do otherwise.

June 5, 2006
7:41 pm
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readyforachange
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thank you all...I guess I just panicked thinking...OMG, how am I going to answer all of these emails? I have responded to a few, and sent a "No Thanks" note to a few more (especially the ones who are smokers or alluded to sex in their initial contact)...sorry, I just can't handle smokers, it's an allergy thing.

and, you know, I never thought of it that way, but it is kind of an ego booster to get some interest...thanks for pointing that out, lightchaser.

and I'll check out that other thread, thanks Shaney..

and thanks to everyone else who took the time to reply...

June 6, 2006
5:19 pm
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Anonymous
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Ready, it is quite intimidating and scary, isn't it? Dating, that is! I was married for almost 20 years, then I waited 3 years after my divorce to even CONSIDER going out with a man! I was so glad to get rid of that other one, I couldn't fathom taking on another one:) Whewwwwwwwww!!!

Anyway, when I finally decided to date again, I didn't have a clue HOW! And let me be the first to burst your little dating bubble honey...TIMES HAVE CHANGED!!! So, proceed with caution! I agree with Alicat, take your sweet time. Sort thru the profiles of the ones who emailed you, and take a chance on the ones that interest YOU! Just like picking out apples...pick out the yummy ones and put the spoiled ones back for somebody else to pick up! *ha*

Have fun, and be safe. Nobody can do anything without your permission. YOU are in the driver's seat with the internet dating thing, so drive it, baby!!!

June 6, 2006
5:58 pm
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Shaney
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Hey Ready :o)

I saw that you were on Matteo's thread! Aren't they the best! I may not post in there much but I'm always checking on that crazy group to see what they're up to. Good luck with your new dating ventures. My mother just asked me about the possibility of her joining one of the dating sites. She's scare to death and I'm sure feels much the same way that you do. It will probably take her a long while before she actually acts on the thought. Take care!

June 6, 2006
9:40 pm
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readyforachange
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plz...I'll be safe, thanks for the warning. And I plan to go VERY, VERY slowly. I put my profile out there on Friday night, and I've already been "viewed" over 300 times. Scary...have about 20 interesting looking ones though, but I'll bet only half of what they say is true.

shaney...yes, that is a fun and interesting thread! Thanks for sending me over there! Tell your mom to just log onto one of the dating sites and "shop" around...she doesn't have to put a profile out there. I just looked for about 2 months before I decided to get my feet wet.

We'll see how it goes...

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