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What to do with a 10 yr. old son?
April 1, 2000
4:18 pm
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drcode
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I have a 10 yr. old son. I am divorced from his father, have been for 8 yrs. now. I am remarried and there is conflict between he and my husband. There was an awful coincidence at our home Thurs. night and my son wants to "commit suicide", jump off a bridge, just wishes he was dead because of this incident and also says he is a horrible person and has ruined everyones lives. Of course there are 2 other children involved, my husbands children, a girl 12 and a boy 9. My husband is an alcoholic and has a pretty hurtful and insulting mouth on him. I'm totally lost, can't eat, can't sleep and of course there is more to this story. My question is does my son need counseling? He has stated he wants to talk to someone. I know I could use counseling also. Is there anyone out there that could help?

April 1, 2000
6:12 pm
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janes
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Yes, your son needs counseling. This is not the type of problem..blending a family, alcohalic stepfather, step siblings, that is not easy for anyone to deal with.... Anytime a young person threatens suicide it is time for professional help in a BIG way!!!!

This is a huge problem..the alcoholism, and the verbal abuse alone needs to worked on.

There is another thread on this page that lists valuable resources such as books, videos., other websites and so forth.

Alot has been written on verbal abuse. Alot has been written on suicidal children and also on codependency and other issues such as blended families and so forth.

If your husband is an active alcoholic you may want to seek an Al-Anon group for you and the kids. They all need someone to talk too. It will be difficult for you to be the person they talk to as you are "mom/step mom" ... and you are intrinsically involved in the "problem"

Seek professional help immediately!!! It can be so constructive. Also, if you are feeling lost, can't eat, can't sleep.... you have issues that you haven't mentioned that you need to deal with.

At the very least it is very good you have stopped at this site. Many caring people can support you. YOU have to do the work tho'. No one here has easy things to deal with. sometimes we deny the abusers problems, ignore what we are going through and make excuses etc. Sometimes we get hot with each other and demanding..even rude. But ... you already see the need in your son and in your self. This is a huge step.

Survey the reading list and get help. You have nothing to lose.

April 1, 2000
7:45 pm
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kay
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You and your son need counseling NOW!! You said that there was a coincidence and now he wants to commit suicide, I have the feeling that he didn't just come up with this idea all of a sudden. It sounds like he has needed some help for some time now, just look at the description you gave of your family... he has so many issues to deal with and a 10 year old cannot possibly deal with it all on his own. Neither can you, just because you are older doesn't necessarily make it easier for you to handle. Get help and do it fast, you deserve it. As well I am sure the other children are impacted by your situation, talk to them too. Please don't be afraid to help yourself.

April 4, 2000
5:47 am
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shazzy
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My son is 12. My partner (his step-father) is alcoholic. The thing that is helping us is my changed attitudes, which began to change when I went to Al-Anon. It may help you, and it certainly can't do any harm. Just make sure your son knows he is loved and that the crappy situation is not his fault.

April 12, 2000
1:28 pm
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drcode
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Just to let you know...I am beginning counseling on Friday, April 14. I want to talk about my situation and see how the counselo feels about my son receiving counseling also. Thank you all for your support.

April 12, 2000
9:35 pm
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chris-tina
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Way to go!!! Let us know how you're doing.

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