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What to do...
November 13, 2010
12:00 am
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haythere
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Forum Posts: 108
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September 30, 2010
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I'm
pretty sure I already know the answer to my question, but I think
I'll put it out there anyway.

We moved away from
the neighborhood my kids grew up in 3 1/2 years ago. There is a
young man who used to live next door to us. We have known him all
of his life, he is 6 months younger than my son, they are both 22.
I am now hearing that he has a drug problem, a serious one. My h
has business dealings with this young mans father, he told my h
that his son has stolen things from their home and sold them to get
money for drugs. My son had told me pretty much the same thing
about this young man.

Here is where I am
struggling. We have gone thru all of that and probably worse with
my son. He is an opiate addict, but has turned his life around in
the last 10 months. My son has been friends with this young man
their whole lives, although we have discouraged contact with the
old friends for obvious reasons. He just doesn't need to be
associating with people doing drugs.

Anyway, both of
this young man's parents (they are divorced) know we've been thru
alot with our son, I'm not sure if they know everything, but they
know at least part of it, we aren't close friends with them. The
dad has shared with my husband some of the problems they have had
with their son, but has not asked for advice. And they continue to
do things that are enabling their son's drug habit. Even my son can
see that they are enabling his friend....I know I need to stay out
of this, they aren't asking for help. But I'm scared that something
might happen to this young man and there was something I
could/should of have said or done.

My co-dependency
is kicking into overdrive on this one, any suggestions?

November 14, 2010
12:00 am
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Lanigirl
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Forum Posts: 161
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September 24, 2010
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So
hard to see someone struggle. You do know the answer on this one.
They haven't asked for advice and are doing the same enabling
behaviors. Perhaps you could have some AA information ready if and
when they ask or tell them of meetings you may be
attending.

February 22, 2011
1:31 pm
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StronginHim77
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Haythere -

Always kinda wondered how this turned out?  How you handled it?  This sure had to push alot of "triggers" for you.

-  Ma Strong

February 22, 2011
5:50 pm
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haythere
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Forum Posts: 108
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September 30, 2010
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Well, I kept my mouth shut.  And about 6 weeks ago I had a phone call from this young man's mom.  She was trying to find him.  She had gotten him into rehab, but he had failed a drug test and showed up on her doorstep and she had told him he could not stay with her.  "Tough love", he had his vehicle and he had his cell phone, but since she was paying for the cell phone she could see what calls he was making etc.  She briefly recapped what had been going on over the last few weeks, what his addiction was and of course how scared and concerned she was.  She also spoke to my son and asked if either of us heard from him or saw him to please let her know.  My son was able to track him down and told him he needed to get back to rehab.  The young man was not quite ready to go back yet, but called and asked if he could sleep at our house one night, my son said sure.  I was a bit taken aback, didn't really want him here, but on the other hand, as a mom, I knew it would be a huge relief to know my son was in a safe place.  But for one night only.  He ended up not coming and my son was going to tell the mom that he stayed anyway, so she would not worry.  I told him he had to tell her the truth, that her son had decided to not stay here.....if something happened, if she got a call, she had to be clear about where he wasn't.  He ended up going back to rehab, the last I heard he was getting ready to go to sober living.  I did see an extended texting conversation between my son and this young man's cell phone (on our phone records) about 2 weeks ago.   Not sure what that was about since we are now embroiled in our battle with the pills again.  

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