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What the hell is his problem?
February 17, 2006
10:54 am
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artist 2
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He emails me to ask me to lunch, to ask me over, or to ask me out. I've told him a bunch of times that I would rather he call to ask me out, but he doesn't. WTF???????

February 17, 2006
11:10 am
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caraway
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Artist, you can't change people. It sounds like he does not respect your feelings.

Cary

February 17, 2006
11:25 am
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terbear
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Is this the first date?

February 17, 2006
11:31 am
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Abbey Lu
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He's probably shy or afraid that you'll say no. Perhaps accept the date over email and as you get to know each other he'll feel more at ease to call you.

Let us know how it goes...

February 17, 2006
11:33 am
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artist 2
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No, we've been dating for over a year now. I've told him numerous times that I'd rather he call me than send me an email. He forgets because it's not that important to him. Or maybe I'm not that important to him.

February 17, 2006
11:34 am
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CAMER
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Artist, i am sure you are important to him.........tell him once again, "this is the last time you will tell him "(ha!).....and then see if he keeps doing the email thing, instead of picking up the phone.

February 17, 2006
11:35 am
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Notsure
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Artist...........don't respond and don't go.

Tell him that you want to be either asked in person or to be called on the telephone and only the telephone.
Any other requests will not be responded to. Simple.

Having said that some companies frown on personal calls (which others can hear) and though they don't like personal emails either most can't be seen. Also calls usually take longer as there are pleasantries involved and questions as "how are you?", "what's going on?" "how's work?" but I digress.....

Just say no talkee no showee.

Notsure

February 17, 2006
12:04 pm
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artist 2
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Thanks. It's pretty hard to do this when he sends an email to invite me, then leaves the house to go do other stuff.

All this sounds so minor and petty compared to other's posts here. I'm kind of embarassed to bring it up. But, it really bothers me.

February 17, 2006
12:13 pm
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mj
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Hi Artist!

Let's say you didn't read his email therefore his invitation wasn't received. Rather than be annoyed because he isn't calling you, you can train him into calling if he wants to take you out. You may suffer anxiously for a few times but if he truly wants you to join him for lunch he will get the message.

You have told him to call. He continues his behavior. You feel resentful. Who has the power? Respect yourself and accept what is comfortable for you!!!!

February 17, 2006
12:35 pm
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kathygy
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artist,

this is not petty. it is a very important mirror of your relationship.

his behavior sounds passive-aggressive. he knows you want a phone call. he's not respecting your feelings or 'hearing' you.

you don't have to have this relationship on HIS terms. What about your terms?

You don't have to see him just because he sent an email asking to see you. Maybe you didn't get the email in time.

Unfortunately an issue like this can turn into a power struggle. he won't do it your way and you won't do it his way.

have you told him how it feels to you when he disregards your feelings? Have you asked him why he won't call instead of emailing?

I could see having a mixture where sometimes he calls and sometimes he sends an email.

You can tell him the consequences when he sends an email. he's taking a chance that you will get the email in time.

I just keep hearing lots of reasons this man makes a very poor partner choice in all of your posts.

You said you don't even know if he loves you, you don't know if he understands you. Why do you stay in this relationship? I think its very important to FEEL loved by a man but you don't even know if he loves you? How can this be? Why don't you know?

He certainly dosen't seem to treat you in a loving way.

February 17, 2006
1:56 pm
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artist 2
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I know... I know... I only post the complaints... so you guys don't get to hear the good things he does.

I'm so confused.

February 17, 2006
2:06 pm
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kathygy
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artist,

the good things really don't much matter much even the extent of the bad. You sound so disatisfied with this relationship I keep wondering why you stay.

February 17, 2006
2:14 pm
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gingerleigh
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Ditto to what Kathy just posted!!!

February 17, 2006
2:56 pm
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sdesigns
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So if you email him back w/ a yes or no- how does he know what your answer is if he just leaves? Seems like if he really wanted to have lunch he would call to see if you can make it. Email just draws it out. Ditto what kathy said.

February 17, 2006
3:03 pm
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mj
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Its your life Artist! You get to decide what to do. After all, you get to ask questions here, and take our responses or not. (((((((Artist)))))))))

February 17, 2006
4:31 pm
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artist 2
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All you long-timers... I'm so thankful for you!

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