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What my World Needs Now is
November 7, 2006
12:45 pm
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mj
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I just watched a video of my hubby and I's first date. I was all happy and smiley and having fun. I got to see My daughter and grandaughter at my home before I married. I was alot happier then. I rode my exercise bike while watching. I rode 2.3 miles. Yaaaa for Me! I want to be happy and thin again!

November 7, 2006
1:34 pm
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bel
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Hello All,

MJ glad your taking care of yourself and feeling better. Its always nice to see old pictures or videos isnt it? But time goes on and we all change in one way or another.

In my old pictures I was very thin and seemed happy, I wonder what happened to my nice figure????

Saturday my 12 year old grandson crashed on his dirt bike and was knocked unconcious, he hurt his jawbone, his chest, his head and knee. He had all his protective gear on and that took the brunt of the force of him being thrown. He was checked out by the paramedics and told he seemed to be doing okay but if his pain persisted to go see his regular doctor. He is doing much better but that was a close and scary call.

How are you doing today TS?

November 7, 2006
2:24 pm
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mj
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Hi Bel,

I am glad that your grandson is doing much better! Life is Precious. Are you being affected by the winds and fires?

November 7, 2006
4:12 pm
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bel
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Hi MJ,
No the fires are about 5 hours from where I live, we have been getting some high winds though. Its so scary when something like that happens and there is so much devistation.

Thank you for asking.
Bel

November 7, 2006
4:13 pm
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mj
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Glad to hear you are not in danger 🙂

November 7, 2006
4:41 pm
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tooscared
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Hi Bel and MJ. Good to "see" both of you. 🙂

MJ, it can be inspiring to see ourselves at a happier time of our lives and I know that you have been through a lot over these last few years. Thankfully you are getting stronger again and regaining your motivation to take care of yourself and move on with life. Wish I could see that video! You are so sweet my friend.

Bel, it is awesome to hear from you. I am so sorry to hear about your 12 yr. old grandson having the dirt bike wreck. Sounds like he was pretty banged up. How scary for him to be knocked unconscious!! I hope he is doing better and has no lasting problems from the wreck.

I am doing a little better today. I think I am dealing with a sinus infection, but I really don't have time to go to the doctor. My cheek is still bothering me off and on and my head plus I sound pretty nasally. Oh well, hopefully it will pass. I will drive tomorrow to be with my parents as my mom is having bladder surgery. Any prayers for a safe, successful, and uncomplicated surgery would be greatly appreciated.

Love, TS

November 7, 2006
6:22 pm
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mj
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It sounds like you are going through a lot my friend. I will have you and your family in my heart and hoping that God's will is the same as yours.

Love to YOU

November 8, 2006
11:43 am
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mj
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What I need today is Comfort. Knowing that I am enough and that I am right where I am suppose to be.

November 8, 2006
11:49 am
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southgoingzax
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I need my world to be full of healthy, emotionally stable, ADULTS who can communicate anger and frustration in a VIABLE, CONSTRUCTIVE WAY.

November 8, 2006
11:57 am
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mj
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Wouldn't that be lovely Zax!

I was reading about healthy communication this morning. I still struggle with this.

Mirror, Empathize, and Validate!

November 8, 2006
8:02 pm
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mj
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I need an internet hug!

November 8, 2006
9:53 pm
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tooscared
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Got one from me dear friend (((MJ))).

Just got home from being with my parents. My mom had bladder surgery this afternoon and seems to be doing very well. She is staying overnight at the surgery center and my dad is staying with her.

I bit the bullet and called the doctor to go in and find out what is going on with me. I think it is a sinus infection but everything I seem to take doesn't work. My face just hurts!

Anyway, I hope you are doing ok. I know that Wednesdays are hard for you right now and I hope you were able to get out today and do something nice for yourself.

Love, TS

November 9, 2006
9:19 am
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mj
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(((((((((((TS)))))))))))))))

I am so glad that your mothers surgery went well and that you were able to be there for your mom and dad. It is apparent how much you care about your parents.

I am so glad that you took care of yourself and bit the bullet 🙂 Funny use of that cliche. I know how much you dislike going to drs. but I see you getting better at it all the time! That is progress.

I appreciate your friendship TS. I was feeling so vulnerable and out of balance when I asked for the hug yesterday and of course, I can always count on your friendship for knowing that your trustworthy, kind, compassionate, and loving! Your the Best!

I tried to take care of myself yesterday to replace the feelings of loss from not attending my meeting. I went on got 4 new books at the used book store, one on menopause, one on Choices, and two fiction 🙂

I went to the Craft Store and meandered looking at xmas decorations and fun projects. I didn't buy anything just looked to get my creative juices flowing.

I took a photo to my bro that he wanted. We talked about my unhappiness in my relationship and how I continue to remain in this abusive situation. The talking made me feel really insecure about my future. I know its the rehashing of the same old, same old, never going away problems that continue day to day when I am accepting reality without my rose colored glasses on.

Its Progress Not Perfection.

I hope your appt. goes well and they can help you get rid of your pain and discomfort. I hope that your mom is recovering and not too uncomfortable from her procedure. Love to YOU

November 9, 2006
11:27 am
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bel
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Dear MJ and TS,

I hope you both feel better real soon and can enjoy your days as you should.

Hugs to both of you
((((((((MJ & TS)))))

I have had sinus infections alot and they are the worst...everything does hurt and its hard to get rid of them.

I think the three of us should go to the mall and eat a nice lunch and maybe see a movie?? A nice romantic one or a thriller who done it???

Then go shopping!!!

Take Care
Bel

November 9, 2006
2:16 pm
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mj
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(((((((((Bel)))))))))

Wouldn't that be fun! We have been friends for at least 4 years online haven't we. Remember when Tracyln and Jenny did lunch! That was like so exciting because they had such a great relationship here. That was before you could exchange email. Nice Fantasy Bel. Thanks!

November 9, 2006
2:19 pm
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bel
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Thanks MJ I really dont have a special friend to do those things with. Well I do have my sisters but alot of times its hard to get together because of commitments.

I guess I am feeling lonely and unwanted right now. I am having a moment so just give me some time and I will be okay. I am probably not making much sense huh? Oh well....glad going to have 3 days off.

November 9, 2006
2:22 pm
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mj
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Its okay to reach out and ask for your needs to be filled even if you know it isn't possible. Love to YOU

November 9, 2006
4:12 pm
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tooscared
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Hi sweet MJ and Bel. I would LOVE it if we could really have lunch together and go shopping. We might never get to the shopping as I think we could sit and talk for a very long time.

I just got home from my doctor's appt. He said I do have a sinus infection and I had a temp of 100.2, which is high for me as I don't even normally run normal. Anyway, I feel miserable and my blood pressure was up. NOW he wants to increase my blood pressure medication too. I am on an antibiotic and then he had me buy some mucinex and he gave me a steroid nasal spray. Hopefully by this time tomorrow I will be feeling much better.

I cancelled my counseling appt. for tomorrow. I had postponed it from earlier in the week when I had my dermatologist appt. I will just see her next week for my normal appt. as I don't need to see her when I am not feeling well.

Take care both of you and know I consider you my real friends.

Love, TS

November 9, 2006
9:14 pm
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mj
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I am so glad that you are taking care of yourself TS. I hope you feel better soon. Love YOU

November 10, 2006
12:39 pm
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mj
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Yesterday I started reading the book Choices Creating Happiness by breaking free of your past by Andrea J Moses, M.S.W.

I am on Chapter 11, Releasing your emotions. I am at an exercise where I have to write two letters. One to My Mother, and One to my Father.

The goal is to connect up with my feelings. To cry and feel. The exercise comes with statements about how I felt to coax me along in addressing unspoken emotions. I am nervous but I know that this is what I need to do.

Last night...my hubby and I had a blow out. I think my past emotions are being triggered in my present. I want to heal. I want to be happy. I want to exercise free will and make choices based on whats right for me and not on every wind that blows through my world. Wish me luck and feelings to be felt and disapate.

November 10, 2006
3:22 pm
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tooscared
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Hi MJ. Sorry that you and hubby had the blow out last night. That is definitely no fun! I am sure that your emotions are very close to the surface as you deal with past issues as they do affect our present day lives. Hugs dear friend. (((MJ)))

I hope you were able to write the letters and feel some sense of relief and healing.

Love, TS

November 10, 2006
8:43 pm
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mj
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Thanks for your support dear TS. I wrote 2 pages today...the letter to my father and then I went to my new friends house to continue our book study on the 12 steps. I got to meet her darling 3 year old daughter who is an absolute angel. I have been smiling ever since. There is beauty in each day if we take the time to enjoy.

How are you feeling?

November 11, 2006
6:45 pm
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mj
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Today being Veteran's Day....Hug a Vet!

November 11, 2006
7:51 pm
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tooscared
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Hi MJ. How are you today? Just thinking about you and know that writing those letters must have stirred up some pretty intense feelings. Hopefully you are taking care of yourself and pushing only as hard as you need to with your thoughts and emotions.

I am actually feeling a little better - first time in about 10 days. Now if I could just sleep then things would be even better!

Love, TS

November 12, 2006
12:07 pm
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mj
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Glad to hear you're feeling better minus the sleep. How is your mom doing? Is she out of the hospital yet?

The first part of my letter dealt with anger. I was surprised I had so much anger at my father and it didn't depress me at all. I stopped there and haven't resumed it. I guess I am building energy, courage, strength to deal with the next category. I have been reading a couple of fiction novels too. We are suppose to get high winds here. I went and cleaned at my bros yesterday so I wouldn't have to be out in it.

I am taking it easy. How bout you?

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