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what i can do
May 17, 2001
4:35 pm
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gwman
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I been married for about 8 years, with a single mother, we started to have problems when she moved at my house, her kid at that time 15 years old was difficult to get along with me, her kid was out of country for about 4 years when he came back 1996 and the problems become worse. We went to a therapist but she cancelled it because was so stressful for her I tried to get close to him but we are kind sometimes differents my wife is in her MFT and she started to has new friends I become jealous and I feel alone I been taking my belonings and go away been sleeping in my car for 2 days and came back, on last november we started the divorce process. The last time I did about 3 week ago I been angry at her and at her son I didnt talk with them for that time (I ussually did this when I am angry or break something)Yesterday I tried to excuse myself with her but she told me that it over and I can still living there but she doesnt want me. Really I was sorprise I was expecting her forgetting but she react in that way also she said that she been on those weeks on therapy sessions went she took that decision. I feel bad about this situation I love her, I been, I dont know what I can do...

May 17, 2001
4:46 pm
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chippy
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Love and caring is two people working out problems. If one person refuses to work out problems there is nothing to build on.

Children from another marriage can cause stress.....natural children cause stress. The only way to fix this is talk and communicate. Can you two talk still or is that over too?

May 17, 2001
4:55 pm
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gwman
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Thank you chippy, for respond me, She told me before to go to anger management class and therapy session but I put aside her recommendations Now I realized that I need counseling Im trying to contact her to go to her therapist also in separate session I did it because he knows the problem and also can heard my side, DO you think its ok or I am manipulating that situation...

May 17, 2001
5:16 pm
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gwman
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I still talk with her but not with her son, she told me yesterday that she wants to live because she love to dance and I m not. She wants to go out with friend and probably in the future start a new relation with another man, Is she is pay me back or is over ?

May 17, 2001
6:12 pm
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chippy
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Dear GWMAN,

Please help yourself first. You cannot do anything until you are strong and whole first. Your wife needs help with her own problems.....so the therapist does not need to "hear your side" to figure her out. She needs individual counseling and you need individual counseling.......at some point you may be able to go to a joint counselor. Tell her you are going to a counselor alone and if you feel better in 2-3 months you will call her if she is willing to hear from you. We have to be the first to reach for help beofre we can throw someone else a life preserver. It's tempting to go back with her now but the problems will be the same unless you get help.

Get a good therapist......get a reference from someone or a good hospital. GOOD LUCK!

May 17, 2001
7:04 pm
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gwman
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I ll check with my insurance for a therapist. Thank you for your advise

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