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What every women should know
February 21, 2006
3:12 pm
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das033
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Some of you ladies may have seen this already, but it is nice to see every now and again.

>>> A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
>>> A set of screwdrivers,
>>> a cordless drill, and
>>> a black lace bra..
>>>
>>> A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
>>> One friend who
>>> Always makes her Laugh...
>>> And one
>>> Who lets her cry...
>>>
>>> A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
>>> A good piece of furniture
>>> not previously owned by
>>> Anyone else in her family...
>>>
>>> A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
>>> Eight matching plates,
>>> Wine glasses with stems,
>>> And a recipe for a meal that will
>>> Make her guests feel honored.
>>>
>>> A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
>>> A feeling of control over
>>> Her destiny...
>>>
>>> EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
>>> How to fall in love
>>> Without losing herself...
>>>
>>> EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
>>> HOW TO QUIT A JOB
>>> BREAK UP WITH A LOVER
>>> AND CONFRONT A FRIEND WITHOUT RUINING THE FRIENDSHIP...
>>>
>>>
>>> EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
>>> When to try harder... and
>>> WHEN TO WALK AWAY..
>>>
>>> EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
>>> That she can't change
>>> The length of her calves,
>>> The width of her hips, or
>>> The nature of her parents...
>>>
>>> EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
>>> That her childhood
>>> May not have been
>>> Perfect..but;
>>> Its over...
>>>
>>> EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
>>> What she would and
>>> Wouldn't
>>> Do for love or more...
>>>
>>> EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
>>>
>>> How to live alone...
>>> even if
>>> She doesn't like it.
>>>
>>> EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
>>> Whom she can trust,
>>> Whom she can't,
>>> And why she shouldn't
>>> Take it personally..
>>>
>>> EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
>>> Where to go...
>>> Be it to her best friend's kitchen table..
>>> Or a charming inn in the woods...
>>> When her soul needs soothing...
>>>
>>> EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
>>> What she can and can't accomplish
>>> In a day...
>>> A month..
>>> And a year...

When I first read this (an e-mail sent by a friend) I felt peace in my heart knowing that someone cared enough to share this with me and I also felt that I was woman enough to know this.....and think Hmmmm, so true! hope all of you ladies out there enjoyed it as much as i did.

February 21, 2006
3:18 pm
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whidbey
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I love it, Das! Thanks!

February 21, 2006
3:25 pm
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kathygy
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those are pretty good except for two of them that I disagree with.

A woman does have control over he width of her hips through diet and exercise. She doesn't have control over her bone size.

"That her childhood >>> May not have been >>> Perfect..but; >>> Its over... "

I think this is dangerous thinking and promotes denial.

I strongly disagree with this thinking. No one's childhood is over. I beleive that it lives on in our subconsious minds and drives our decisions, our reactions and choices in every aspect of our lives. How could it not?

I have found that working on childhood wounds can make a big difference between reacting to today vs. reacting from childhood wounds which bring up the past.

February 21, 2006
3:40 pm
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das033
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Thanks Whidbey!

Kathy, I went through alot in my childhood. amazed that I am not addicted to alchol, drugs or in a stray jacket.
and we all have.....
who hasn't????

I see what you are saying, my view on it, is yes it happened, and through much therapy I have dealt with it and I am glad my childhood is over and of course I would like to go back and do it all diffrently, but can't. with my two daughters I bring out the inner child in me. but I think this passage is saying: your child is your childhood, don't dwell on it, it is in the past and move on and make the best out of your adult hood as best as you can.(something you do have control over.) just my thought. I say this cause, from expierence from my ex husband and his child hood which he can not deal with and move foward actually cripples him and turned him into a drug/alchol abuser, blaming anything and everbody in his life for such a screwed up life. so ultimately it comes down too, no matter who you are and what you have gone through, it is up too you on how you deal with your childhood and the present/future. there is nothing we can do about the past other than with pro help deal with it and move on.
as far as diet and excercise and the hips, I agree my friend!

February 21, 2006
3:59 pm
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kathygy
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das,

I went through hell in my childhood but I am not addicted to alcohol, drugs or in a stray jacket either. But there sure are a whole lot of other kinds of ways to act out childhood wounds or that childhood wounds play out.

The fact that you married an imature alcoholic with all kinds of issues tells me you made that choice based on your childhood wounds. So that your childhood lived on in you when you made that choice.

I believe to say childhood is over and move on is abandoning your inner child. The child within you still feels the pain from childhood whether you acknowledge it or not. It is not about blame. It is about acknowleding the truth about our parents, seeing them as the wounded human beings they were and what we were denied by them and acknowledging the wounds. This is very validating for the inner child.

Your husband is not healing his childhood wounds. he can not move on until he does. he is wrong to blame his childhood and not take personal responsiblity for his actions today.

I disagree, there is plenty we can do about the past. We can go back and feel the pain that wasn't safe to feel as a child, we can go back and feel the feelings we suppressed as a child because it wasn't safe.

We change the messages we were given as a child about who we are and about life to positive, loving messages about our selves and our lives.

I have worked very hard on re-parenting my inner child. This means I give her everything she did not get as a child and I validate her feelings. One of the most important thing to her is that she feels heard. I give her that. Also, as a real child she didn't get the attention she needed so I give her lots of attention. In these ways I heal my childhood wounds.

The more I heal my childhood wounds the better decisions I make in my life, the richer my friendships and relationships with men and the more loving my relationship with myself is.

February 21, 2006
4:12 pm
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gazelle
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Hmmm ... very interesting points from both sides here. Food for thought.

On a lighter note, the ones I disagree with are these: >>> Eight matching plates, >>> Wine glasses with stems >>>.

I'm not a slave to convention & a bit 'arty', so I insist on my right to flaunt these non-matching, uniquely individual, fascinating one-off & antique plates ... and these wonderfully-shaped, handmade wine goblets without stems!
Lol.

The rest of the list is FAB though - thanks! BB - gazelle.

February 21, 2006
4:45 pm
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Anonymous
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i have to chime in with gazelle, i have one complete set of twelve diff plate settings and i prefer it that way. it all mixes and matches great. some are collected, some are bought.

February 22, 2006
5:11 am
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das033
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gazelle, guppy you guys are too funny!!!!

Kathy, I will be honest and let you know that I never even heard of the inner child untill I stumbled across this site and I am glad I did cause I am learning so much more than I thought I would. I will look more into the inner child healing and do some research. I thank you and maybe I am using my defense mech. to believe the survivor in me is stronger than my inner child.
now that I think about it, I was once very playful and not the so serious one and the inner child ran back in because of the life and the abuse i lived with my husband.
thank you for your time and bringing this to my attention, I will seriously look in to this.

February 22, 2006
8:25 am
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artist 2
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I think having a black lace bra is a good idea. Once I brought my toolbox to work, and the men were really impressed with it. As if?

February 22, 2006
8:26 am
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artist 2
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Oh, and add to the list:

A WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... how to change a flat tire.

February 22, 2006
1:04 pm
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kathygy
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if she has very strong muscles. I know how to change a tire but I am not strong enough to loosen those bolts holding the tires on to the car.

February 22, 2006
1:44 pm
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das033
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why change a tire when you have a cell phone and a number to triple A.

duh!

just kidding!

February 22, 2006
4:29 pm
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artist 2
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You have to stand on the handle of the thingy that goes around the nuts.

......I wont's say what that sounds like...

February 22, 2006
5:52 pm
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gazelle
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artist - you mean when you bent down to show them your toolbox, they were "really impressed" with your black lace bra? Low-cut top too, then?! Lol.

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