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What does love feel like?
October 25, 1999
7:03 pm
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Jack.
You posed a very insightful question when you said, "...I wonder if this is a means of conserving love for fear that it might all get 'spent' on an undeserving partner." It seems that you are saying that one could put their 'eggs in the wrong basket' as it were; invest in a 'dud company' with little hope of a dividend.

How would you describe an 'undeserving' partner?

You observed that, "... sometimes I feel selfless and selfish in quick succession." Is this some function of where our consciousness is centred; on the self or on another? Is this what you implied when you said, "There is an altruistic facet to 'love' that is self-assured and gives me the strength to forget my needs while focusing on another's".

Is this "self-assuredness" and "strength" some function of the degree of freedom that we have from anxiety and the fear that underlies that anxiety?

If so how do you personally achieve that degree of freedom during those times of expressing 'altruistic love'? Or is the freedom serendipity in action?

October 25, 1999
10:49 pm
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kitten
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So, what does love feel like? When I reread my journals I keep coming across the statement...that's why I love him so much. I examine what happened on that day and see that the expression of love was not just words or physical closeness, but rather that unknown feeling. For instance. One night my lover and I were in the shower together--we stood there talking, telling jokes. Ocassionally he would reach out to run the soap along my arm or back and I in turn would do the same. There we were, laughing about the silliest things, each of us with bubbles on various parts of our bodies. Suddenly, the water became freezing and we realized we had been in there for an hour. We jumped out, pulling our towels around us, really looking at the other. There had been no agenda for our actions--we had been lost in the joy of just being. To me that is love. To share bliss without worrying who is getting more, enjoying the connection. A rarity indeed!

October 26, 1999
11:39 am
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Cici
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I think peopl throw the word around so easily...it's lost its meaning in modern day cultures around the world. Why are we all of a sudden asking what this creture is? Love is the subject of pop songs and teenage poetry, no loner revered in the classic sense of those great romantic poets like Keats, Shelley, Byron.

What is love? A bunch of clouds, angels singing, a symphony? Or is it more like a dream or flight of those earth-bound, a way to escape our sheer fleshiness?

I don't know that all emotions are evolutionary based. Let's consider Maslow's heirarchy of needs...those of the body demand immediate attention: hunger, desire for shelter, safety. Maslow says that no higher emotions can be catered to or even understood by those who's basic needs are not met. Therefore we are left with the conclusion that early homo sapiens didn't have the TIME to consider love...sex was animalistically a purely biological drive. I seriously doubt that there was any tenderness involved.

Suddenly, in our techologically more advanced society, our middle-class/upper-class basic needs are met. Thus the existential crises that are popping up al over the place. Suddenly we fear death more and more, we question love more and more, because essentially we just have too much time on our hands to ponder these things. Biologically speaking, we have no coping mechanisms in place to deal with these crises because our techology has evolved faster than ourselves.

October 26, 1999
11:40 am
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Cici
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I think peopl throw the word around so easily...it's lost its meaning in modern day cultures around the world. Why are we all of a sudden asking what this creture is? Love is the subject of pop songs and teenage poetry, no loner revered in the classic sense of those great romantic poets like Keats, Shelley, Byron.

What is love? A bunch of clouds, angels singing, a symphony? Or is it more like a dream or flight of those earth-bound, a way to escape our sheer fleshiness?

I don't know that all emotions are evolutionary based. Let's consider Maslow's heirarchy of needs...those of the body demand immediate attention: hunger, desire for shelter, safety. Maslow says that no higher emotions can be catered to or even understood by those who's basic needs are not met. Therefore we are left with the conclusion that early homo sapiens didn't have the TIME to consider love...sex was animalistically a purely biological drive. I seriously doubt that there was any tenderness involved.

Suddenly, in our techologically more advanced society, our middle-class/upper-class basic needs are met. Thus the existential crises that are popping up al over the place. Suddenly we fear death more and more, we question love more and more, because essentially we just have too much time on our hands to ponder these things. Biologically speaking, we have no coping mechanisms in place to deal with these crises because our techology has evolved faster than ourselves.

October 26, 1999
2:07 pm
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whoa that sounded a little negative cici, I do not believe in Maslows statement and conclusions. I have been without food or shelter and can recall some interesting existential thoughts, spiritual meanderings and growth periods. In fact when faced with the fear of absence of such basic needs, it is at those times that i started to become closer to god.
Our society is technologically advanced and has come to this state in such a fast way that it has sent many of us into a panicked. anxious and stressful state. We are not meant to be so far from nature, our multisenses ( I am talking, more than five senses that we all posses) and each other. It is the basic reason for all the violence, depression and suicides in our socieity.
Blessings

October 26, 1999
5:50 pm
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Cici.

You said, "Biologically speaking, we have no coping mechanisms in place to deal with these crises because our techology has evolved faster than ourselves." From my perspective, this is true. Out understanding of our own psyches hasn't kept track with our technological abilities to destroy each other on masse as well as the planet.

Tears.

You said, "We are not meant to be so far from nature,..." I think that few realise that we are not external to nature; we are nature in action. we are an evolutionary product of nature. Most people seem to think of 'nature' as being constrained to ecologically friendly, sustainable and balanced environments. The dinasours were destroyed in a very hostile environment inflicted by the very destructive forces of 'nature'. Our actions on this planet are part of these destructive forces. If we choose to act otherwise then it will still be nature choosing otherwise.

Nature creates, nature sustains and nature destroys; the three faces of God. If God is Love then Divine Love must also contain these three elements; Creation, sustenance and destruction in eternal ever entwining circles. What does that feel like? A subjective feeling dependent on which of the three aspects that we are experiencing!

Kitten.

Loved your response!! It put me in the creative mood. I'll have to catch my partner in the shower! I'll tell her it was your doing. 🙂

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