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What do you do to heal?
March 25, 2006
12:39 am
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Anonymous
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I'm just curious...right now I have been working through alot...and I want to learn more coping mechanisms. Sometimes I start feeling like an untouchable in society...because of everything that has gone on in my life...even though I know it is not the truth, its taken alot of work to learn to change my negative thinking about myself. Right now I find it helps to read about other women's stories, I'm reading a book called Women of Courage, as well as a book called Secret Survivors (uncovering incest and the aftereffects in women) which is really helping me understand myself better.

Do you have daily routines, hobbies...what is it that helps you get through the hurt and heal?

March 25, 2006
12:56 am
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mamacinnamon
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Hey Magga: 🙂

I used to let everything bother me to the point of bein sick. I learned from my gramma to use a phrase that means "i don't give a hoot" even tho you do. Something that will give you a little chuckle inside.

My gramma always says "how bout that" and we rigured her out one day. When she says that it mean "i don't give a hoot" w/o hurting anyone's feelings. So, I followed suit. I say "how bout that". Kinda gives me a bit of a coping mechanism.

March 25, 2006
1:09 am
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Anonymous
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Maggalisa, about 10 years ago, I was so depressed, I could hardly make myself get out of bed. But I did, each morning, and as I walked my dog, I would look up at the sky, and thank a higher power for letting me wake up, and for giving me the strength to go on. Each night, I thanked again, for seeing me through another day, giving me the strength to get out of bed and go to work, and then I would ask that I have no nightmares. I ended each day by saying out loud, all the people who loved me. It was one day at a time. After a while, I began to mean it - the "thank you for letting me live another day". And one night it occured to me to add myself to that "loves me" list. That might seem kind of simple, but it really helped me. Take care - Polly

March 25, 2006
1:14 am
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maggalisa-

Hello... you are already doing a great thing... reading. You can read books to help you with your problems, or you can read some for escape. Lately, I prefer the latter, but both are so helpful. Learning through books or any other means is a growth process and whether we are learning directly about what we are suffering from or learning a hobby, it helps us grow and heal. This I think makes us stronger. The catch is that it's hard to get started, but once you get past that it gets easier.

Exercise is great, even if you just like to go for leisurely walks. Anything outside your usual routine. I like going to the gym- even if I only have 20 minutes.

Pets are wonderful, I love my dog, which reminds me I have to walk her!

gotta go!

-ella

March 25, 2006
9:06 am
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Rasputin
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Great thread Mag!

My healing tools are: my cutie kitty, this beautiful site and my wonderful cyberfriends, my own values of believing in HP...of course there are so many things that can be added to this list.

These are just a few simple tips to help us in this recovery/healing process. I am sure my other cyberfriends have some more to add to it.

~Ras~

March 25, 2006
12:07 pm
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bettye
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hello everyone Im new to this but sometime when Im trying to cop with something I try to explain it to a close friend and see how she feel about the situation

March 25, 2006
1:33 pm
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Anonymous
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Maggalisa,

I see you've already gotten some excellent suggestions, but I'll venture to add two more.

One thing I've found helpful is keeping a journal. I'm being a hypocrite because I don't always do it, but whenever I write down the feelings I have about things, the significant things that happened that day, my hopes, etc., I gain a better perspective on things.

Also, I've found it helps to make goals -- any goal that causes me to stretch myself -- and do something toward that every day, even if it's only for a few minutes.

Take care, and the best to you in your recovery,
Seeker

March 25, 2006
1:49 pm
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mj
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Welcome to this site Bettye! Routines I use to heal are my daily meditation readings. I read them first thing in the morning to get my day started out on a positive healing note. I like to highlight the things that are really important. Each year I change the color of the highlighter which helps me see that I am making progress! Lots of new AHA moments!

March 25, 2006
2:03 pm
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lollipop3
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MJ.....what a great idea using different colored highlighters! I feel foolish to say that never occured to me :p

I also read my Alanon readers daily and highlight....as I've been doing for the past few years. Now all of the pages of my books are all YELLOW and I have no idea when I learned what or when I was going through particular issues.

Diffffereeennt collllored hiiiiigliighterrs......very smart.

Lolli

March 26, 2006
2:07 am
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Anonymous
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Thanks you guys,

I guess I am doing alot of good...some days it just doesn't feel enough...you know?? I realized though that I feel ready to give back, I want to start volunteering for either a rape crisis center or a domestic violence shelter, I have received help and support from both....I think that will be good for me as well. I used to jam it out in the gym but I'm not quite as er...mobile these days with my 6month belly...lol

Anyone else want to share?

March 26, 2006
2:52 am
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Worried_Dad
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Hi Maggalisa,

I read a book about treatment of PTSD, that said that healing finally comes to "finding meaning." I think that by finding things in life that are meaningful to you you are doing a lot to promote healing for yourself and for others. Wanting to volunteer in a crisis center or shelter sounds like something you would expect from a strong person with a lot of compassion to give.

And getting ready to guve birth to new life--that is an ultimate expression of hope and generativity. I think you have a lot on the ball here.

Caring for yourself, and caring for others. I think that is the way to go.

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