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What do WOMEN want REALLY ????
August 9, 2007
10:13 am
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Went to a funeral yesterday. Our friend's 80-yr-old mother asked us how we managed to look even younger than when she last saw us.

Wow. What a compliment. I sucked it right up.

My H was looking studly, but was actually hiding the fact that he has hurt his back again and was walking around in pain. My shoes were hurting me. I looked at him and saw that he is still the best-looking guy around.

That only happens when I see him through others' eyes.

You guys, we are so broke now we are having to use our retirement to live. We are having trouble generating income and we are both scared and depressed.

Then, despite these anxieties, we got to babysit our 3 month old granddaughter, and we both loved it so much.

I wonder if she brings back the innocence we ourselves had......before we got selfish and critical with each other because we were probably not living up to our own individual potential and dreams and goals.

There is too much tendency to look to your mate for "completion".....it would be better to see the relationship as "enhancement" of who you are. (Courage used the word before.)

Jas, I liked the goal post analogy. I realize and recognize that there sometimes is a real inequity in MY support system verses HIS. So we have both had to take turns carrying the full weight for the other.

Robert, Nappy, and others, while I admire the peace and independence you have, I would still wish you the give and take of a loving responsible partner.

Yeah, Wasabi, he is really sounding like he's in it for himself. Somehow, you have to get him to hear you ....... I know I used to do and do till I resented it or realized he didn't recognize it or took me/it for granted and then I'd lose it and holler and criticize and complain ...... and then THAT would enable him to pull up and somehow justify his irresponsible, selfish behavior because....after all....look at her...who'd want to "buckle under" to that kind of shrew? One blames and criticizes, and one denies, deflects, justifies. We trade roles sometimes.

SadMike, it feels so fatalistic....do we all choose someone who will not respect and accept us for our worth? I have a sister whose loving marriage I've always respected also, butterfly. It just floors me when others tell me I HAVE that!!! I dated a lot of really nice guys ..... also some bad boys. But it was my husband who lit the fires and melted my composure. I wonder if that is what I wanted and needed more than anything.

August 9, 2007
10:36 am
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wasabi
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SadMike
You sound like a sweet guy ....
Sorry if this thread sounds like an attack on men in general... it realy is not! I think most women here have had major hurt & disapiontment!
My husband has his good points.But displays his bad more often
He did come around & try to comfort me in my emergency!
The next day!!!! but when your down real down hours & days count every min.
We have been together for over 20 years so .... we must have something special & it's very passionate!
Sometimes passion can be LOCO crazy!
I like your bible verse!
But I alway hoped the verse of love .....second Corithians 13....
A hole chapter on PURE love!This kind of love only God can provide, but I sometimes read this & say hey why can't my husband love me like this! or it say's that the husbands should love there wives like Christ loves the church!
That would be nice too!
but in the WORLD it's not like this!
We have all sinned & fallen short of the glory of God!
OK well my husband is not a Christain he was brought up with Cathology cramed down his throat, he does not know pure love from God.
I married a man unevenly yoked & it has been a tuff road!
Well ok it's not easy!
As far as a love song from Foreigner:
My song is more like Blue Monday!
Take Care!
Not to offend....Your manlyness!
Wasabi

August 9, 2007
10:48 am
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lalasgirl
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i want a man that is honest. no dual purpose identity. one man one focus one core. i want the perks and the faults but just one identity. then we can go from there. i can handle anything when i can trust and be trusted.

August 9, 2007
5:48 pm
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free
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Mike, you might indeed have to be patient.

I can relate to her. Getting divorced and learning to live on my own, emotionally and financially independent- was a phase in my life I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy.

I met my hunny after I'd almost made it- took me about a year. We did fall in love, but no living together and stuff, no melding finances God forbid. I learned to thoroughly enjoy my time alone- even if it was cleaning house on Saturdays when the kids went with their dad.

so.....I have three engagement rings- he got me one three years in a row. We had been together 7 years before we got married. Never lived together.

Before we actually got married- he started to pressure me- heck, it had been almost 7 years- and wanted to buy a house and start looking to the future together. he did all the footwork on the wedding and on the house. I kinda went along for the ride. Doing that was all I could muster kuz if I thought about it too much I'd get stuck.

so....yep- patience, but pursue her also.

I hope you find the woman for you Mike kuz you just sound like such a sweetheart.

free

August 10, 2007
10:39 am
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SadMike
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free -

Thank you so much for the kind words. 🙂

I think she has done that to a good extent: she's had over four years of living alone. I really have fallen for her and truthfully, I'll stick by her side regardless of her difficulties ('cause that's just how I am). I am a very patient man and willing to wait for what I want and need when I see it. Like all, though, I have my moments of impatience and difficulties and I don't like it sometimes, but overall, when I see what I want, I can wait a very long time for it.

According to the biblical story of Jacob, Leah and Rachel, Jacob worked for his "would-be" father-in-law, Laban, for seven years to have Rachel as his wife. Yet, Laban tricked him (I'm not sure how this happened, but...) and he got Leah instead. So, he worked for another seven years for Rachel.

She's a sweetheart and worth all the wait. 🙂

August 13, 2007
4:55 pm
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butterfly4u07
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Thanx for the words Mike...

About being reserved, that is not a bad thing, all that matters about a relationship from both sides is acceptance with love. As long as u and the luv of ur life have that for each other then that's all u need. Opposites do attract and we all are opposite and it all just falls into place when we find that place in out hearts for the ones we love. Wish you the best in all that you look for.:)

August 14, 2007
12:01 am
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lostnluv2
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SadMike

Just wanted to say that I cant believe that men like you exsist. You sound like a great person and a man who really knows himself and what he wants and its reassuring to hear that from a man. Good luck to you.

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