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what do I want?
April 18, 2006
9:01 pm
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dragonflygirl
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I'm thinking that I'm going to have to break up with my girlfriend..... That hurts to even type... Is there any way that you can ever stay friends with the one you were co-dependent on?
lost lost lost... I feel so lost

April 18, 2006
9:52 pm
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Randomwomen2
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I realy think it depends on the manor if the break up. Does she want a break up too?

April 18, 2006
10:08 pm
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dragonflygirl
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no.. at least i dont think so anyway. i just feel like i am staying with her only because it is what i know. thankyou for responding. i appreciate it so much.

April 18, 2006
10:20 pm
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mamacinnamon
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dragonflygirl:

Best I can say is that you should sit down w/ her and tell her what is on your heart. It's then up to her what she does. Unfortunately, we cannot always stay friends w/ those we are close to. But maybe she'll want to remain friends too. Honesty is best.

April 18, 2006
10:27 pm
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JPS
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WHy do you want to stay friends? Do you want to stay friend so you don't lose the tie connection and feel like you failed? Is that just a cop out?

Why do you think you need to end it?

Staying friends is very hard after a break up. If you do break up I would suggest some time apart, before you consider being "friends".

What is being "friends" in your mind?

April 18, 2006
11:28 pm
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dragonflygirl
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Alright heres the whole story

We met when I was 14 and she was 16. She was deep into drugs, i was not. For 3 years we were on and off. I did everything I could to try to show her that she was better than drugs. She cheated on me with her ex. I never got over it.
We broke up for 10 months, I dated an alcoholic guy which ended in disaster of course. After he and I broke up, she and I got back together. She told me that she spent time on herself, that she changed, that she only smoked pot.
I was still in love with her, and believed that she changed, and we got back together. She kept smoking pot, regaurdless that it broke us up many times before. Eventually last year I just began smoking it with her. She smokes everyday and has been for years ithout missing a day.
Alot of times I would think to myself, "why am I doing this? this isnt me! " but i still did it anyway. We had huge fights, it wasnt working, but we ignored it because we wanted it to work so badly. About a week and a half ago I went to the E.R. for a panic attack after we had one of our fights and talk of breaking up.
I stopped smoking the grass after that because it was clouding my thinking. We decided to be on a break. On Easter I went to my Grandmothers. She and I are very close and I just spilled my guts to her about everything. And since then I've been staying here with her. Not seeing my girlfriend, figuring myself out. In July I wil be moving to Florida with my Mom after i graduate. My girlfriend was supposed to come with us but now thats not going to happen. I also know that now we are going to have to break up if i want to find myself, to be independent, to live my life.

Its just so hard to detatch from her. She was my life. I lost all my friends. I lost myself. And now I am have to find myself because I am sick of this life.

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