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What do I do about the guns?
January 26, 2005
1:25 pm
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Always hurting
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My husband had two guns when I married him. I have always been against guns but for some stupid reason I allowed them in our home in the safe. Most recently during a big fight I walked into my room to find him holding the gun against his head. He and I were still arguing an I was continuing to fold clothes during this ordeal. He kept threatening to kill himself. Only one other time did I see this gun and it was when in another fight he pointed it in my direction.He now claims I over react because he knew the gun was not loaded.
Long story short I locked up the one gun with a gun lock I took what I thought was the only key but he did have another one. He just found out that I had locked it and was furious I attempted to leave him no key. He is furious with me and he has told me over and over that I just want to control my husband!!He always tells me that if he wanted to kill he does not need a gun to do it he could use a knife or some other object. But I dont like those guns and I dont think he should even have them..

January 26, 2005
1:31 pm
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ILSILS
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take them outside and throw them away if you dont like them, or suggest that no amo be kept at home. i dunno he sounds pretty stubborn like my man, cant live with em cant shoot em.

January 26, 2005
1:33 pm
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mj
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It sounds like you were being manipulated by your husband. I think after what you have shared, that he is lucky that you care enough about him not to want him to harm either of you. I don't like guns either. My husband keeps them locked in a gun safe unless it's hunting season. He is respectful of me by not keeping them out. I had another friend who her husband almost killed her in a insane moment. Trust yourself and get the guns out of the house if that is what you think will help. My friend gave the guns to another for safekeeping.

January 26, 2005
1:41 pm
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Phalic_Liberator
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Get the fuck out of there, NOW!! He has guns, has a history of using them to manipulate you through either suicidal threat or posing an emanent threat to your safety, even if the gun was unloaded.

Telling you that you are overreacting because the gun wasn't loaded is his attempt at "normalizing" an unstable and fatal environment.

Call the police. Get a restraining order. Leave. Get out. Get out now! It is the first rule of self-defense. A man cannot fight you if you are not there to fight.

Please. Leave now. It doesn't matter if you think he should have guns or not. Take them with you and dispose of them once you are well on your way. He can always get new ones.

Get out. You are in emanent, grave danger and you need to leave. Get out now!

January 26, 2005
1:53 pm
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sewunique
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Always,

Please read the thread titled: Problems.

Locks have keys. Get the guns out of the house and get him or you out now.

Call your women's abuse center today. Listen to what they have to say.

You need an escape plan now. They can help you immediately.

Posting here helps, but perhaps talking verbally to someone on the phone will help it settle in your mind this is a dangerous situation.

Again, you are living in a high risk situation. what happened can happen again without any notice to you.

Guns are dangerous. They kill.
Or the people handling them do, with the gun or other means.

I feel for you. We all will keep an eye on your postings. We are here for you. Be there for yourself.

One more thing. My sister carries with her the disfigured elbow from her attacker, her ex husband. He threatened to kill their son. She stood between the rifle and her son to take the bullet. He now is in prison. But she is now disabled the rest of here life......physically and mentally.

Take safety. Get a plan. Call the abuse center. Be safe.

Sew

January 26, 2005
2:02 pm
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sewunique
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One other thought. If he put a gun to his head, bullets or not, he has threatened suicide. He needs help.

People who just verbally threaten suicide are taken seriously. He has taken a more aggressive action for someone to notice his pain or anger.

Either way, they say if anyone talks or threatens suicide, they are to be taken seriously and you should notify perhaps a counselor as well.

Counseling for you may also be a good idea, you think?

January 26, 2005
6:39 pm
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jastypes
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My husband had done that in the past. When I went to a Women's Shelter to learn about abuse (mine was all verbal/mental) I found out that it's actually a pretty common way for abusive men to manipulate, threaten and control. In my case, at that time I made him leave, then I gave the guns to a friend to hold. I was fortunate that my husband got help.

jill

January 27, 2005
2:09 am
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godsgirl
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Get the hell out of there. Now. You are messing with fire. Your husband has some serious issues to work on and it is not safe for you to be living with him. Please don't take this advice lightly. Get out.

January 27, 2005
9:24 am
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GullyFoyle
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I agree with PL. You need to leave. All guns are loaded. It is unfortunate, but the truth is, one day someone will be killed. You, him, a child or just someone walking by outside. He appears to go for a gun under stress. Next time, all it will take is a small jerk of the finger. A policeman would shoot him if he pointed a gun at him. It is called "deadly force" whether the gun is loaded or not, even if the gun is a air pistol or a toy.

Yes, get out, leave, do not respond to him. Especially when you are fighting. Get out.

January 27, 2005
10:59 am
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mamacinnamon
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I agree w/ the above... you need to get out of there.

My ex used to pull a gun on me, him, didn't matter. It was his way of manipulating. I almost made it out once.
Anyway, there is no need to play w/ this. You are not overreacting.

Protect yourself and your kids if you have them. Don't take that crap off him. Get out NOW!

January 27, 2005
11:07 am
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jamaicanwife
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My father used to do this to my mother, even loaded his gun with blanks and shot at my grandmother, just to frighten her.

He is not to be trusted, he needs help, but if he doesn't get it, you need to look after yourself. Go somewhere safe, get help, just do something to protect yourself.

January 27, 2005
2:26 pm
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whitelight
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Yes, yes, yes! Please read and follow the above advice.

Your husband has some huge emotional and control issues. You are also in danger.

I just wish to add, there is nothing wrong with guns themselves. More people are killed or injured each year from kitchen knives.

The guns are not the problem--your husbands behavior and mental attitude is!! Your safety is #1. Please protect yourself. This game could turn deadly.

with concern & hugs
whitelight

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