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What can I do about Jealousy?
October 8, 2001
2:29 am
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mek80
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I don't know if there is anything out there for jealousy issues... but I feel that jealousy ruins my relationships, and I understand that, but I really don't know what I can can do about it!

October 8, 2001
8:36 am
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damaged
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mek80
This is a good question? I am a very jealousy person and I hate that feeling. I would rather not feel at all then sit around being all jealous over stuff. My ex-and best friend is in someones eles bed and it sux. I wounder what she is thinking while haveing sex with someone else. Hope you find the answer you are looking for.

October 8, 2001
1:15 pm
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Molly
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Comfort and security self love, it all comes from with in. Work through issues of self lack, realize that your a great person, and those in your life are lucky. It sounds arrogant, but it is the truth.

October 9, 2001
4:07 pm
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1dvsgirl
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Jealousy generally comes from something you don't trust/love about yourself. Molly is right - if you get to the point where you can honestly say "I am great and people who know me are better for it" that's when you start winning the battle. It takes time to get over the scars that the past leaves (ie if another lover/friend has betrayed you)The important thing to remember is that the new people in your life did not make those mistakes or do those things to you so don't make them pay for it. Be open and honest with your partner about your feelings and why you are feeling them, maybe it's something you can work through together or an action that your partner doesn't even realize causes you to be jealous. Everything takes time and understading, but it starts with taking the time to understand and love yourself.....

October 16, 2001
10:08 am
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dede4444
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I'm right there!!! I am always told I'm responsable, kind, generous bla-bla-bla. But I'v been lied to many times, resulting in grevous circumstances. This makes me terrified it will happen again. The lies are mostly from men, my Dad, my brother, my daughters father, my current boyfriend. Also close girl friends. At first they tell me I'm over reacting, then I'm paranoid. After I emotionally prove my case and show them proof that I know they are lying they say they are sorry for lying and fess up! This is what I belive to be the cause of my jelousy in male/female relationships. It is currenty ruening my love life and mental stability. How do I stop this it feels horable every time it happens and sometimes I want to just move away from everyone who has hurt me, but thats not rational or even possible. Am I just a target? How can I control my Jelousy.

October 16, 2001
10:23 am
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ragdoll
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I think Molly is right that you have to figure out what your source is from the inside...like what those past lies have caused you to feel about YOURSELF, and then see if you can shine light on it and do a little self-care taking to heal the damage it created, without just jumping into the cycle again. I know I am a jealous person too -- and I know how horrible it feels. You don't NEED to feel it. It doesn't get you anywhere, and it doesn't protect you from anything. That's what I think - what I tell myself when I feel it - and that leads me to believe that it's worth while to figure out how truly NOT to feel it anymore. Actually, jealousy is not a current problem for me, but I know that a few years ago it would work it's way in and cause me pain -- I think it happened to me because my relationship was not "growing up" the way it should - there was unrelated hurt and fear going on, and even though my boyfriend ended up being faithful, jealousy is like the great chamelion...it can take all kinds of hurt and pain and claim it for it's own, so pretty soon you're just feeling jealous (tunnel vision) and you don't even really know why. Don't let it take control - realize it's not an emotion you need for any real reason, and work (emotionally) on something else, for your OWN sake. hope this helps.

-ragdoll

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