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what are you afraid of?
October 4, 2005
1:54 pm
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I'm afraid of being left on my own to make ends meet and I won't be able to handle it.

I'm afraid to face yet another funeral and more grief.

I'm afraid that my whole family is damaged from alcohol abuse.

October 4, 2005
2:01 pm
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shyshy
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Brynnie, just so that you know, I was afraid of the same things. The first two anyway.

I DID go through a lot of grief and a lot of family funerals and I WAS left on my own to make ends meet. Guess what happened?

I survived. It was not an easy road I have to admit though. I have to really bust my a$$ to make ends meet and now after my parents and all my siblings dieing, and going through a divorce, I am all alone on this planet. It gets very depressing sometimes!

Right now, I have a bf who I am clinging on to because "I am afraid to be totally alone" and I'm stressing about the fact that with the gas prices as high as they are and oil going up I do not have enough money to make ends meet. I work a ft job AND clean houses and pet sit on the side. I also get child support pretty regulary and I still don't know how I'm going to put oil in my tank this winter.

I was really down about it this weekend because I can't work any harder than I already am, but, I like to think God is looking out for me. He's gotten me this far.

October 4, 2005
2:03 pm
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prisoner
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I'm afraid that I will loose control

I'm afraid of spiders

I'm afraid of heights

I'm afraid of my feelings

October 4, 2005
2:05 pm
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prisoner
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I'M afraid my husband will overdose

October 4, 2005
2:15 pm
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kathygy
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I am afraid of getting cancer one day.

I am afraid of loosing my job because I don't have enough work.

October 4, 2005
2:24 pm
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I guess I'm afraid I will get sick again and this time I won't survive and I still haven't felt fulfillment so I'm not ready to accept it gracefully yet.

October 4, 2005
2:58 pm
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gingerleigh
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Bears.

*laughing*

Ok, really I'm afraid of bees. Especially wasps. I'm also afraid to have an opinion in front of a man. I'm afraid to make decisions and choices. I'm afraid of committing to the wrong choice. I'm afraid of aging. I'm afraid of being rejected.

I combat my fear of bees by keeping cans of Raid in the house. I have been rejected recently and I survived. I made a wrong choice with my marriage but have reversed it.

I'm still afraid of having an opinion in front of a man. Ok, not just any man. I'm happy to be opinionated in front of men I am not romantically attracted to. But otherwise I just clam up.

I'm afraid I will never find a fulfilling and healthy love.

October 4, 2005
3:02 pm
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Oh yeah, bears and wasps and what that horrid smell in the bottom of the garage garbage can is.

October 4, 2005
3:05 pm
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Anonymous
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I'm afraid to go home tonite

I have done a bit of crazymaking today and I want to go home and go into his email and see if I am right.

I know I am right - too many damn coincidences to be wrong....

which means he is lying to me.

which means we have made ZERO progress in the trust department.

which means I am going off the deep end.

this sucks.

October 4, 2005
3:42 pm
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prisoner
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I am afraid ow wasps too.
I am afraid of loosing my job.
I am afraid of hurricanes.
I am afraid of tornadoes
I am afraid of my daughter starting to drive soon.

October 4, 2005
4:00 pm
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lollipop3
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I never realized until the past few days how much of my life is actually ruled by fear.

I think the easier question for me to answer would be.....what am I not afraid of.

Lolli

October 4, 2005
4:03 pm
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prisoner
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I know what you mean. I think the biggest emotion I carried from my childhood abuse is FEAR. I am always anxious and afraid. I have panic attacks so I take Paxil.

October 4, 2005
4:17 pm
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Dear Prisoner,

Maybe the anger thread was better because that is easier to express. Expressing fears is so much more painful. I am sorry you've suffered so much abuse.

Does it help to organize back-up plans for those anticipated disasters? I mean, doesn't it help ease the fear if you know how you will deal with it? Was it ever possible to protect yourself then as it is now?

And lolli, I've never picked up that you are an anxious person on this site.

For me, fears can (at least SOME of the time) be tamped down with some active thinking. Positive self-talk, something empowering. Wasp spray. You know.

Admitting my fears is hardest. Very shameful I think.

October 4, 2005
4:26 pm
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lollipop3
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Brynnie.....

What you said is exactly the point. I don't SEEM anxious or afraid. I SEEM strong willed, I SEEM independent, I SEEM stubborn, I SEEM determined.....which I am all of these things. Because I have to be all of these things. Because behind all of these things I am afraid.

I am afraid to trust.

I am afraid to be disappointed.

I am afraid to appear weak.

I am afraid to be used.

I am afraid that noone will ever really love me.

I am afraid.

October 4, 2005
4:55 pm
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Oh wow, lolli, I am really and truly afraid to be disappointed. That one is really personal.

I know that getting excited about something and looking forward has been shot down so often I won't let myself get too excited or anticipate often. My dear old dad was like this. It just hurts so much to have your hopes dashed and your dreams start to get smaller. I don't know how to fight that fear -- it is a dread.

October 4, 2005
7:15 pm
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Rasputin
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I am afraid of crossing the street.

I am afraid of crazy fast reckless drivers.

I am afraid of fake people.

I am afraid of evil people who can get away with their evil deeds.

I am afraid of forests and wild animals esp cougars.

I am afraid of liars, mask wearers and dishonest people who pretend to be decent.

I am afraid of cruelty toward humans tame animals and pets.

Very insightful thread, thanks Brynnie!

October 5, 2005
6:27 pm
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jastypes
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I'm afraid of heights

I'm afraid I won't change my co-dependency or food addiction.

I'm afraid I WILL change my co-dependency or food addiction.

I'm afraid my husband will not grow with me.

I'm afraid I will disappoint people.

October 5, 2005
6:35 pm
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addicts wife
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I am afraid of being afraid!!
I am afraid of going Blind.
I am afraid of losing a limb.

I am afraid of my health.

I m afraid I will keep gaining weight until i cannot get through the door.

Im afraid to own a full lengthmirror again, so I wont even go in the mirror aisle at Walmart.

I am afraid of getting "bingo arms."

I am afraid of cockroaches and rats. but i somehow like Bats, as long as i dont see them, I just like them on the discovery channel.

I am afraid of gettign in a terrible car accident.
I ma afraid J will end up leaving me and all my fears, which leads me to being afraid of being homeless.

These are just my "sometimes" fears ,that occur during anxiety attacks, and/or when I have too much time alone to think.

October 5, 2005
6:39 pm
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mamabear
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I am afraid that I will eventually give way to the insanity that threatens to overtake me.

I am afraid that I will fail at everything I do.

I am afraid that I will always be lonely.

I am afraid that my kids will do drugs.

I am afraid that I will damage my kids.

I am afraid that I will never see the ocean, or the mountains, or the grand canyon.

I am afraid that I will cease to learn and grow.

October 6, 2005
1:31 am
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I am afraid I will not be ever able to change the things that will make a difference.

October 6, 2005
2:22 am
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countrygirl
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I am afraid that after I talked to my father in law tonight that my husband ( the bread winner) will lose his job if he doesn't quit drinking.

I am afraid to leave my kids at home with him alone.

I am afraid that I am going to have to do this by myself.

I am afraid of losing everything we own if he doesn't quit drinking.

I am afraid of the conversation that I have to have with him this week.

I am afraid of losing my family

October 6, 2005
2:27 am
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addicts wife
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Im afraid I am in a whole too big to getmyself out of...again.

October 6, 2005
2:38 am
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nevergivingup
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i'm afraid of remaining a fool and realizing i am one when i know better

i'm afraid of three steps forward and 5 steps backward and the anxiety it causes

i'm afraid of admitting stalemate because there's no where else to move

i'm afraid of never moving on

i'm afraid of nevergivingup

October 6, 2005
3:45 am
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rmckayx2
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After I got sober 19+ years ago I was petrified of drinking again. Now im' afraid of having my "ism" run my life. Im afraid of taking my freedom and choices for granted. Im afraid of not being efficient with my time. Im afraid of mediocrity. Complacency. I am afraid that I have not learned from the mistakes of my brother before he died. I think my biggest fear is not being good enough. Inadequacy. Still after all these years..

October 6, 2005
5:58 am
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Anonymous
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I am afraid my father will never know how much I love, respect, admire, and appreciate him.

I am afraid of sharks--which is weird because I live hundreds of miles away from an ocean and in a desert no less!!!

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