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What all I have done...
December 18, 2008
11:55 am
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It No Longer Matters
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Let's see...in the last year I broke up with the guy I dated for 4 years. He begged his way back into my life. Things seemed to be going well. I caught him cheating with the wife of a "friend" of his. I walked away again. I almost filed for bankruptcy. I found out my father had cancer. He died. I started a new job that seemed like the answer to prayers. The jerk went missing on pay days. He promised all sorts of things but did not deliver then got mad a me because I wasn't able to do the things he hired me to do. He let me go. I found another job but won't receive any income until the end of January. 2008 has probably been the worst year of my life and I cannot wait for it to be over. 2009 has just got to be better.

Bitsy

December 18, 2008
12:15 pm
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CAMER
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Bitsy, you are not alone!! yeah, 2008 wasn't the greatest year for me...so I too look forward to 2009.

And remember, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!!

(((camer))))

December 18, 2008
1:09 pm
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I am really finding it hard to trust.

Bitsy

December 18, 2008
1:15 pm
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Randomwomen2
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(((bitsy))))

December 18, 2008
2:20 pm
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Zebra
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(((Bitsy)))

Camer is right...what doesn't kill you will make you stronger.

Let see about my 2008 year: new position at work and learning new people and places. Divorced my lieing, cheating addict husband, moved out, lost my home in the divorce. Managed to pay off my car and get some debt out of the way.

2009: Is going to be a much better year for me and growth as well.

Bitsy, you and I are going to have a wonderful new year and we will make it. That I promise to you and me.

December 18, 2008
2:32 pm
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Thank you all for the encouragement. At least when I get down now, I don't sink quite as low as I used to.

Bitsy

December 21, 2008
2:49 pm
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Yesterday I went to my family Christmas get together. We laughed and talked about my dad. My Aunt V knows all that I have been through this year and as the "women" were sitting around talking she made sure to tell me that I am young and I need to get out and meet someone. I made a joke about being a born again virgin and she shot right back not to let that go on too long.

How long does it take to heal and want to get back out there? In the beginning I lamented the fact that I would have anyone to go anywhere and do anything with and that I didn't want to be by myself and this that and everything else. Now I sometimes ...I don't have the desire to get dressed on the weekend. I only just now got out of my pj's because someone called and said they were dropping by. I can go for days without leaving this house. When does it get better? When do I start wanting to go and do again?

Bitsy

December 21, 2008
4:54 pm
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Bitsy,

Mulligan here.

I can tell you're really struggling with some form of depression. I was exactly the same way after I asked my husband to leave. I didn't want to get out of bed, I stayed in my pjs all day, I took a shower only when I had to meet clients (kinda gross), I ate ice cream and licorice for dinner more than a couple of times, and I didn't engage with my kids, etc. The list goes on and on.

Please see if you can get into your primary care physician and discuss this with him/her. My physician gave me some mild anti-depressants and I have been able to pull myself out of this slump. You may not need them but at least you can openly discuss with a medical professional. I also started counseling. I cannot tell you how much that helped me. It's been a hard long six months for me but I know that I'm well on my way to recovery.

Today, six months after my seperation from my alcoholic husband I was invited to a Christmas/Birthday party. Yes, it's an 80th Birthday party, pretty rockin and rollin, but I actually got all decked out. It feels good. I actually dragged out my curling iron for the first time in 12 years.

Force yourself to get out of your pjs and start something new. Maybe go for a walk, work out, call a friend, buy yourself something snazzy, get your ears double pierced, just something for you.

In time you'll feel whole again. It takes active steps to sort thru things and move on. When you and I are ready the dating scene will be exciting not as dreadful as we see it now.

Mulligan

And I too have been a born again virgin more than a couple of times (in my 20s).

December 21, 2008
5:50 pm
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Dinner: Cornish Hen stuffed with wild rice and peas on the side. I nice glass of wine in a really fancy wine glass that I hardly ever use.

Bitsy

December 21, 2008
9:16 pm
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I started reading the Shack...is that going to make me sadder or is it going to help?

Bitsy

December 25, 2008
10:03 am
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StronginHim77
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THE SHACK will bless you. Powerful message.

- Ma Strong

December 26, 2008
8:42 am
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Thanks Ma.

Bitsy

December 26, 2008
8:26 pm
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Hi Bitsy,

I was just wondering how you're doing? I've been thinking about you a lot.

Ms. Mulligan

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