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Well it lasted 10 days to say the least
March 2, 2005
7:46 pm
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tenderheart
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September 27, 2010
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Well on 3/25/05 - I put down my wall, but not my boundaries. I let him come back, as long as he stayed off drugs and entered recovery. On Saturday I helped call around for recovery places that work on a sliding scale and it was not easy. One place said that he need to test positive on his urine test - Go figure he is a drug addict for goodness sakes. Although it has been 10-12 days since he last used he has meth and his real drug of choice has been maryjane since he was in high school. He has since started working, I am trying to keep an open mind but also a watchful eye to make sure he isn't slipping up. I told him that I will not support him and that if he wants to live with me he needs to help w/ rent, his own food and supplies. I am taking this day by day. I mentioned to him that if a recovery house continues with the run around he should think about outpatient services. I will not force the issue, because he is a grown man and the choices he makes will be his to deal with. I told him that since he left I have new outlook on life and if he doesn't have the same that we should end this now. I know he loves me but I told him he needs to love and take care of himself before he can truly love me right. Just wanted to share with all of you where I am at today.

March 8, 2005
4:20 pm
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tenderheart
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Update to the the 10 days and the relationship ending again in 10 days. He started working but he he did not enter recovery. He was going with the flow of things putting on a show of good behavior slightly showing me bits of his old self. Then yesterday after dropping him off to work with no phone call all day(unusual) I get home late from work and he still has not gotten home. I get a call @ 8pm asking me to pick him up from the train (metro. I replied with "where were you" and denied him a ride home. Pissed off but not out of control he rides the bus home, saying "baby, baby I didn't do anything wrong." GUILTY, Guilty of something. Hadn't pin pointed it yet. I told him it is things like this make me fall out of love with him. I told him I really don't believe his story. Any man with true love for me would be honest and would have called at least to ask me how my day was and to let me know his plans so that I wouldn't worry. So basically he was kissing up the whole time which made my stomach turn. Well as we were getting ready to call it night he says he wants to stay up and watch T.V. Which he didn't do all last week because he started working. So I pretended to fall asleep but as soon as I gave him time to settle in the front room I got up and walked into the living room and suprised him, because his face turned white. I asked him what he was doing and I noticed he was holding something in his hand. I asked him what is was he dropped it and showed me his empty hands. I said no what is that you dropped on the floor? I was hoping it wasn't true but asked anyways and sure enough he had a pipe. Again "Baby, baby" - I turned and told him he knows what he has to do. "leave?" - I replied "yes". He pleaded but I was calm and had no thought whatsoever to keep him there. I stood my ground and he packed a bag and left. He called all night because none of his buddies who live in different city could pick him up. I know I am doing right and day by day I have to rebuild my wall. I don't hate him. I love him very much. But I deserve better.

tenderheart

March 8, 2005
4:22 pm
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Cici
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September 24, 2010
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If at first you don't succeed, try try again. GOod luck.

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