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Well I fell For it
April 19, 2001
3:20 pm
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stones_dj
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September 29, 2010
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Well Dam me I fell for her sympathetic actions. Her crying on the phone and her saying how sorry she was. I even listend to my friend that she was talking to, Then this past Monday I started to talk to her and she started showing her same paterns again, trying to blame me for her putting my things out in the drive way.

Don't get me wrong I have done alot of hurtful things in the past 5 years but, she is the one that couldn't put our feelings aside when it was time to take care of my daughter and do what was right for her. (Keep a stable life for her). I can't believe that I subjected myself to her, and I started feeling sorry for her. What an idiot I must have been. Well I am going to try this all over again and this time hopefuly I will be able to keep her away, and not talk to her. The good thing is that I have to go away to texas next week for business and maybe things will be easier.

I really feel that I love her and wanted to make things work, however she has not showed me that she wants the same thing. I just think that I need to stay away from her and not talk to her, is that the best thing to do? Please advise !!

April 19, 2001
3:59 pm
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Ladeska
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September 27, 2010
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Yeah Buddy - nothing like learning the hard way, eh? (smiles) Don't beat yourself up too bad, the incident you just went through beat you up enough. Today is a new day, so treat it that way. Turn that car around and take off in the opposite direction and stick with it this time. Just remember that "your energy and your love" can't run this show where it's supposed to be about - two people. You've got codependent issues, Dude and you need to work on that - big time. No rescuing or fixing anyone in the future but your own sphere....'KAY?

And No - I would not talk to her unless I absolutely had to and make it short and with boundaries when you do. Do not hang on and allow her to cut you off. You cut off the conversation, you be the one that has boundaries about your own life here. No more of this - let me go tend to her, or listen to her whine, or be her pull toy when she's bored and not getting enough attention. Enough already....right? Take charge of your life.

Just food for thought here......but often - people that are very codependent....do it.....because it's a passive aggressive way of being the controller. I've been here for you, I've gone through hell and back, look what I've sacrificed....blah, blah, blah. It's kinda like getting a fixer upper car....you put all this time in restoring it - therefore - THE DAMNED THING HAD BETTER RUN!!! (smile) Just watch this in yourself, okay. No more fixer-uppers. Be healthy, get educated about your own codependency and find a mate some day that is an "equal" and matches up with the list of what you want in a partner. Alrighty then - I'm done going off at the mouth!!!!

April 20, 2001
6:16 pm
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janes
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Ditto to Ladeska's post!!!!!!!!!

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