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We had history, thought he would take me seriously.
June 22, 2007
1:45 pm
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lovetherose
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Any advice would be appreciated. My ex and I had history. We were dating again for almost 2 years. I thought everything was fine but two days ago I called him; he said hold on then hung up on me, I tried again and he didn't answer. His phone has been off since. We were previously together 7 years; apart for almost 4, I just figured out that if he wanted to date me he already knew what he wanted. I think I was wrong; I made a terrible mistake waiting for him and still loving him.

What would you do?

June 22, 2007
2:00 pm
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nappy
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First of all I think that the expectation that you have of this ex and the relationship should be at the point that you should be able to move past this with this person.
You is calling this person your ex and there is a reason that you are doing so but it is alright to still love this person but sometimes we just can't go back to what we had in the past with someone that we once loved.
It was not a mistake to wait on him because you still loved this person and probably was still in the hoping stage, hoping that everything will turn out right but for you since you did it before with out him, you can do it again. You just need to focus on your life as you probably already know and just live. Oh and don't worry, he will call.
Nappy!

June 22, 2007
2:39 pm
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risingfromtheashes
st regis falls, ny
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what was your relationship like for the last two years?

I agree with nappy...if you have been reunited for two years...it's a long time...time to put the label of "ex" away.

can you go see him, try to find out why the lack of communication?

how did it end before?

does he go MIA often?

did you have any kind of disagreement prior to this last communication?

If it were me....after TWO years...I would be in my car, at his house, asking for an explanation.

Maybe his cell did die - can't get a new one...but there are many landlines that work equally as well. So I don't buy that excuse, other than to excuse why he didn't call you back immediately.

How long has it been since this happened?

June 22, 2007
3:47 pm
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taj64
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how can you go by anything if you do not even know what has happened. Also you said you have been dating for 2 years? that is long time to be just dating especially after have a relationship that lasted 7 years and then 2 years between. If you are dating, then there is no one on one commitment. If you love the guy but know it is not going to go any where, then you are settling for a lot less. You said you had histroy and that is what it is history that is repeating itself. History repeats if the nothing is learned. History does not mean much if you are not in a health relationship. It is quality that counts not quantity. I'd look at the whole picture. As we go through life we will make mistakes and many of them. But ok we learn from it and move on. If you are with the right guy, you don't wait too terribly long to get married either or living together. you have to ask yourself what you really want for yourself. I doubt you really want to hang so long with a guy that could be hiding or cannot be trusted. The instincts are always there, probably not a good idea to ignore. If a man cannot take you seriously drop him. You waste precious time waiting. When a guy truly loves a woman, he wastes no time.

June 27, 2007
10:52 pm
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lovetherose
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I feel better; my mistake was wanting things to be like they were during the 7 years. He has not called and I'm really trying not think of why because I start to feel guilty asking myself ''what did I do?''. I just feel upset and dissapointed, I forgave so much and he can't forgive the one thing (whatever that was) that I did. I appreciate your comments, I really do.
Thank You taj64, risingfromtheashes and nappy.

June 28, 2007
8:26 am
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risingfromtheashes
st regis falls, ny
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has he called yet? where do things stand?

June 29, 2007
4:09 pm
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lovetherose
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He called yesterday 6/28; stating that he had turned off the phone because I had woken him up. According to him he didn't hang up on me, he said the signal faded. He also stated he had been stressing and needed time alone so he left it off for four days; that and he knew I would be upset because he turned it off. We didn't talk much, he just said he wanted to know how I was doing; I was unemployed since 3/29 and just got a part-time job so he wanted to know how that was going. I still love him but I feel different now, I think because I thought he was not going to call back. I'm just going to worry anymore.
Thanks for your concern risingfromtheashes

June 29, 2007
4:14 pm
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risingfromtheashes
st regis falls, ny
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I think after two years...this behaviour would be a HUGE red flag.

He doesn't seem to care one bit about your feelings...he admits to knowing you would be upset, and makes no apology for that.

wow...how do you feel about things? do you think you want this long term?

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