Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
we dont deserve this betrayle
March 22, 2008
2:50 am
Avatar
mislead in bing
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

here i am, being mean to the man i have loved for 16 yrs. again,,,,,why? because he is a sneaky, liar. What kind of man keeps his cell phone hidden from his partner in life? i am sooo tierd and confused by living with this fowl stuff... as soon as i back out, he is suddenly in love with me, i dont know how much more i can withstand. we have a 12 yr old daughter togater who is really getting tierd of hearing her mother get stressed out and depressed. We just reunited about 6 mos. ago,,, he called after not speaking for 3yrs to tell me he misses us so badly, and he loves us i am so confused again because the woman he was living with didn't work out,, and i wonder was it because he was still in love with me or because things with her didnt work,,,is he just back for security???? this is really a hard situation, i cant even go into all the detail, it would take days,,,, i need to know from anyone who can help, do relationships work after a 3 yr. split? we have been in this relationship for 16 yrs. minus the last 3 we were apart. any help would be much appriciated.

March 22, 2008
8:04 am
Avatar
razor
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 140
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

mislead in bing
You gave great advice to luvmy4kids.
These guys never change,and you deserve a happy life.

March 22, 2008
8:05 am
Avatar
readyforachange
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 6
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

mislead...yes, I believe a relationship can work after a 3 year separation,

BUT...from the title of your thread alone, it sounds as if you know that this relationship won't work. He has not been honest with you in the past, and is returning to you telling you that his other GF didn't work out.

Your daughter deserves better than this, and needs to learn from you how a man is supposed to treat her. If you continue to allow this man to crawl back whenever he needs to, especially if he has not been honest with you in the past.

You are right....we don't deserve this betrayal.

March 22, 2008
8:05 am
Avatar
readyforachange
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 6
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

mislead...yes, I believe a relationship can work after a 3 year separation,

BUT...from the title of your thread alone, it sounds as if you know that this relationship won't work. He has not been honest with you in the past, and is returning to you telling you that his other GF didn't work out.

Your daughter deserves better than this, and needs to learn from you how a man is supposed to treat her. If you continue to allow this man to crawl back whenever he needs to, especially if he has not been honest with you in the past.

You are right....we don't deserve this betrayal.

March 22, 2008
8:21 am
Avatar
CAMER
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 100
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

the trust on HIS part needs to be earned back, are you willing to allow this man back into your lives?? knowing he may or may not be trusting???

March 22, 2008
4:35 pm
Avatar
taj64
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

No they do not work because there is a reason for the split in the first place. Guys like this do not change. First off why do you want him back since it did not work with this other woman. Perhaps he cannot live without a woman...period...so he takes the first one that will say yes. My ex husband, the father of my children, tried this with me. He wanted to get back with me, after a very long period. He wasnt happy with his girlfriend. Actions speak louder than any words, that is what I was watching this time. All he did was talk and nothing to back up. And where he is now? He is back with the old girlfriend. And Im a happier person for it. Old dogs dont learn new tricks. If you do stay with him, stay with him because you want to, and not for anyone else. It doesn't look like you are happy or even were happy with him. Dont go back to someone out of lonliness. And if you have to check his cell phone then you have no trust. And without trust, a relationship is doomed. My opinion, no it wont work. IF it did not work the first time, then second time ends up being worse. You cannot base a relationship on wishful or fantasy thinking. Actions speak louder than words is what I live by. Hopefully you will not live on just words. I wish you luck.

March 22, 2008
11:12 pm
Avatar
_anonymous
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 8
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

mislead- The fact that he looked you up on the note that things didnt work out with his X is not impressive. He needs to end that realtionship before he starts one with you. That takes time. Sounds like the message you give him is he can do what ever he pleases and you will allow it. Yes, things can work out, but the two of you will have to let go of your past, problems, etc. Sometimes you have to ease back into it gradually. Like iron out your differneces before you live with each other. Sounds like he might have been looking for a place to stay.

March 23, 2008
10:46 am
Avatar
taj64
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

That is a good point Destiny. That is what happened to me, I allowed my ex husband by even entertaining the idea of us getting back while he was still with his girlfriend. I was part of the problem too. I was not changing my old ways. It was a test I suppose but this time I got out of quickly and he still tries to text me and keep it simple but I offer nothing to him. Actions speak louder than any words. There are men that use women, cant live without one, and are relationship addicted like women. They act out of need and someone to care for them, sometimes at the expense of the person that is available. Something is better than nothing. And when you settle you end up with less. What is that saying again? Things dont change because they dont change. NOthing changes if nothing changes. Simple as that. Only you can change yourself.

March 23, 2008
2:18 pm
Avatar
atalose
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 18
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

You have only been back with him for 6 months after a 3 year split and you are unhappy, hurt and confused. Hiding a cell phone? That doesn’t sound good.

He called you after not speaking for 3 years to tell you he loves you and misses you but that way only after things didn’t work out with the other woman.

I am sure hearing him say he misses and loves you made you feel loved and wanted at that time. I’m sure that is why you allowed him back into your life. We all want to be loved and missed. It doesn’t sound like you let him go or moved on in those 3 years. It sounds like your emotions held onto him tightly and his call was your hope of hope.

You need to be honest with yourself now about what really caused your separation from him in the first place. And have either one of you changed enough in these 3 years to correct the problems that caused the separation.

You are the only one who knows for sure if you are back on that same old road leading to the same old places.

Or, are you possibly on a different road but hitting the same old pot holes? Which means nothing has changed and you already know where this is going to lead?

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
29
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110914
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38536
Posts: 714200
Newest Members:
Striker1s, marcusz, Keara, Venn, Jolebio, loni89
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer