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we are going to resay our vows. RW
October 16, 2005
4:14 pm
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Randomwomen2
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He truly wants to change we are going to wipe the slate clean and start fresh. yesterday we bought new weding bands and for the first time im gtting an engagement ring. we are going to resay our vows on our anniversry jan 13th and then we are going to go to the coast for 3 days and get a hotel overlooking the ocean. my husband told me he wants to go to church every sunday that he wants to start marrige counseling and that he wants to give his life to God. This is such an increadable blessing in my life. Thank you all for your prayers.

Love
Julie

October 16, 2005
4:30 pm
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addicts wife
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((((((rw2)))))
WOW!!!!!!!!! That is Amazing!!!!
I am so thrilled that your prayers are being answered!!!
It truly warmed myheart, gaveme warm fuzzies and hope and renewed faith!!!
((((hugs))))
AW

October 16, 2005
4:42 pm
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Anonymous
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Sooo happy for you. Do resay your vows, clip or tape it to a handy place where you both can reread, the two of you! Maybe inside the door of the closet.
Love,

October 16, 2005
5:02 pm
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RW...

What wonderful news!!! I am so happy that your husband is willing to give your marriage a second chance. You deserve this blessing and much more!!!!

Congratulations!

TC

October 16, 2005
5:10 pm
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Shaney
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I'm so happy for you! Keep the communication wide open, look to God and be the best you can be for eachother, and yourselves. Best wishes and God Bless!!!

October 16, 2005
5:17 pm
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Rasputin
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Hip Hip Hooraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!

Hooray!!!

(((Hugs)))

October 16, 2005
5:25 pm
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mrdibbs
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Wonderful news! Its good to know romance is still alive.Lots of love and look for your new life together.

October 16, 2005
6:00 pm
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lollipop3
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(((Julie))),

I am so happy for you. You deserve to have a healthy and loving life and I am so glad that your husband has decided to take that journey with you.

Love and good luck to you both.

Love,
Lolli

October 16, 2005
10:35 pm
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human drama
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I am happy that you feel so up and excited. Keep on trucking!
Goodluck - Autumn is always a good time for turning leafs!

HD

October 16, 2005
11:24 pm
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jamaicanwife
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You are a beautiful person and you deserve all the good things that life has to offer you. Remember that, and make sure your husband remembers it. You have a chance to start over, just lay down some ground rules this time, and stick to them.

God bless you and your family.

October 17, 2005
2:43 am
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Regret
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Congrats RW. I am happy for you. However, I would encourage you not to give up the dreams you had when all seemed hay wire. School, a possible job etc. They will all be added feathers in your cap!

Congrats and God bless!

October 17, 2005
3:08 am
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bonita1
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Yes, honey!! I am so happy for you, but don't give up your dream of an education. It will always be a plus and will put food on the table and a roof over your head if ever the need arises. You go, girl!!

Love ya,

bonbon

October 17, 2005
12:34 pm
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Anonymous
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Excellent RW,

Thanks for sharing this news at a time when respect for marriage seems to be at an all time low...and is still depreciating.

I found it very encouraging.

Congratulations!

October 17, 2005
12:49 pm
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tracylyn
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I'm so confused??

Reading over your threads, you were so ready to end the marriage, start a new life, find a relationship and be loved the way you deserve to be. You were going to get your license, go back to school and start a new life.

Now, because he's professed to change it's all happy, happy???

Please don't get me wrong - if this is what will make you happy then by all means. But please ask yourself why? Ask yourself if his changes will be for real.

I don't want to be a downer - I really don't. I'm just very concerned over the instant turn around and frankly I'm shocked at so many congrats coming from people that just a few days ago were saying you need to be free from him.

What gives everyone? Are we just here to support no matter what? After everything that RW has said about her husband are we to just say Congrats I hope you're happy and send her off? Of course with church and therapy and the promise of change we all hope that our marriages could possibly be saved but is it always for the better?

I'm confused with the rapid change and I'm disenchanted with the replies.

Sorry RW.

t

October 17, 2005
1:01 pm
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Anonymous
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Tracy,

I am too confused, tho I know how badly RW wants this, so I suspect that his heartfelt letter and promise for change has everyone rooting for her.

for the record, I don't recall all the abuse or neglect, only that he had recently decided to move out and move on. I know that RW has a history of issues she has been in therapy for.

I think people CAN change, and the idea that he is going to therapy is promising.

I know that not too many people rooted for me staying with my BF at first, so all the well wishes here is a little odd - but if this is what she wants and he is promising, why not wish her well?

The proof is in the pudding - I think RW will get a good read on his intentions in a short amount of time - if he continues to keep his promises and change happens - I think they could suceed - however, if he doesn't - she will know it wasn't meant to be and be strong enough to end it. That's my hope for her anyway. I also hope she continues with her own personal journey of recovery and that she continues to get her education and a job she was so excited to have.

so, yeah, I am confused too - I figured there would be some degree of caution here, but I guess everyone is just happy that she has a second chance. I don't remember the details of the relationship to wonder if there was too much abuse to grant a second chance, but it's not for me to judge either.

October 17, 2005
2:11 pm
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kathygy
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Julie,

I would be very leary that he could change permantately. I would need him to prove to me over time that he is changing for good before I would re-do marriage vows. I would need to know that he treats me with love and respect on a consistent and reliable manner. Its possible but I think he needs to prove it to you in actions consistently. Will he act differently when conflict arises between you two? Have you told him what your requirements are for you to be in a relationship with him? I think that is very important. He needs to agree to the requirements and mean it. I wish you all the best.

October 17, 2005
4:15 pm
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Randomwomen2
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I truly believe him he is already changing. I know my husband very well and i believe that if he truly wants to change he will. He finaly realised all that he would loose if he keept being an asshole. He knows what is important to me and for once we are on the same page. He raly does love me and i told him that i wanted to start with a clean slate and that is what we are doing i think i love him now more than ever he realy is starting to step up to the plate. I know all of you care about me and dont want to see me get hurt but i was strong enough to leave once I can leave again if needs be but i dont believe that i will need to. I believe in the power of prayer. This is something that i have been praying for for a long time and i know others around me have been to and i believe that my higher power has changed my husbands heart i will still keep on praying about it. Im still going through with my plans i got my drivers liscens on friday and im starting school on line on the 24th I realy do believe that he has changed. And believe me i will let all of you know if he doesnt. I know he doesnt realy desirve a second chance but he truly wants to change we are starting marrige counseling in a week. and will go every week. thanks for your consern everyone I realy do apreciate it

Love julie

October 17, 2005
5:26 pm
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roseinbloom
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Julie,

everyone deserves a second chance -- I am reading a book called "Reconcilable Differences" & one thing that really hit me was that we ourselves so want to be forgiven but many times don't want to extend forgiveness to another.

You are right to want to forgive and I'm so happy for you that you are ready to try again. I am traveling that road with you as I am set to return home next week. I'm also glad you're getting your DL and still planning on school. I too will continue to have an emergency plan. My husband told me that I SHOULD "keep my safety valves in place". But this doesn't mean I can't go wholeheartedly in to an attempt at reconciliation.

In the end you must do what you believe is right. You're right -- you probably know him best and can judge for yourself if he is prepared to keep his word.

God bless! rose

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