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watching someone die
May 8, 2007
12:42 am
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katarina
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I just lost my Mom last March and now I'm watching my best friends Mom die of lung cancer. It is really hard. I start thinking I have cancer and i'm going to end up like that. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow because I think one of my moles dosen't look good and it could be melanoma. help

May 8, 2007
12:46 am
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ggfred4
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(((katarina))) Please let us know how your visit goes tomorrow. There are so many forms of cancer...I know it is scary, but try and stay calm until you know anything for sure. That is easier said than done I know...Take care...

May 8, 2007
3:52 am
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mamacinnamon
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((((katrina))))

We brought my grandma home to die. She lasted 4 months. It was some of the most special but also some of the most hard times. Be certain you take a break for 1 hour a day just for you. It is important, and that hour makes a huge difference. It truly does. I do hope you have others to help share in the caretaking. As for your friend, be there for her.

PS I hope your doc appt goes well.

May 8, 2007
10:14 am
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lettingo
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katarina
I think what your feeling is totally normal. We watched my father slowly die from Lou Gerhigs disease. My brother til this day is terrified and always thinks he has sysmtoms of the disease. I think it is basically from the trauma of watching someone you love die. Have you thought about talking to a therpaist? Sorry you are going through this.

May 8, 2007
10:20 am
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StronginHim77
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As a chaplain, I have had the privilege of standing by many individuals and their loved ones, while they were leaving this world for the Next.

If you are at peace with leaving this world someday, when YOUR turn comes, helping someone you care about leave this world is much, much easier. So, I would reach out and encourage you to use that "fear" which has descended upon you as a positive catalyst for change...in YOU. Discover and develop your own spiritual belief system...your own spiritual side. That will be your greatest support during this difficult Season of Grieving and Parting.

And remember...the parting is TEMPORARY. Painful, but temporary.

HUGS...

- Ma Strong

May 14, 2007
7:41 pm
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flegen
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this is a part of life everyone must deal with, unless you die early yourself.

in 94 my father died of prostate cancer, and the last 4 months were a complete hell, watching while he slowly went downhill. he was a revernend, and his fellow ministers were a great help in dealing with the situation. after he died members of the church literally swarmed the house and took over cooking and cleaning, making sure we were ok. i've never seen so many people so devastated, he was a great christian.

even under those circumstance when i went back to asheville i spent 3 weeks in the back of my truck(i was camping out at the time) alternatly crying and sleeping. didn't go to work, and boss had no idea where i was. after a while i got back to normal, but it took time. i didn't want anti-depressants cause i knew they would numb the pain and i didn't want that.

couple years ago my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer(lifetime smoker)and while i was preparing for the long haul again, she just suddenly died in february. whole different way of moourning this time. i cried agood bit, mostly before and around funeral time, and since then i've been making mistakes at work i never made before, memory is bad, hard time concentrating or making decisions, and hurting myself(mostly small stuff, but the bike wreck really was bad, still healing.
all part of the process i suppose.

my thoughts are with you.

May 14, 2007
7:47 pm
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sdesigns
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I was alone with my Mother when she died last September. I never got to have a conversation with her once her disease took hold. I could only sit with her and speak to her and say the things that I felt needed to be said. It was all very sudden and unexpected. And watching her take her last breath- I can't describe it. But it was time for her to go.

It changed me. I now value much different things than I did before.

I hope you are able to be there for your friend and her mom in this difficult time. And as MamaC said, take time for yourself.

SD

May 14, 2007
8:16 pm
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Tiger Trainer
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((katarina))

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