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Was This Sexual Abuse? (Warning: Trigger)
April 21, 2009
6:04 pm
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lostnlife
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September 24, 2010
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Hi. I'm in my 20's and have been thinking about my past, my childhood. I know that my parents physically and emotionally abused me, but now, I also can't help but wonder whether I was sexually abused, in a subtle way.

There were a couple of times that my mother ordered me to shower with her when I was around 11, and possibly 13. She'd said that we had to because we "didn't have a lot of time" or "it'll save water." (ie: save my parents money.) My Aunt also made me take a bath with my adopted cousin when I was 11 and said the same thing: "it'll save water." (ie: money)

I also remember seeing my father's body and feeling very shocked and scared; It reminded me about sexual intercourse, and I felt as though I was being told, 'This is what you'll have to do when you're older (and in a relationship).'

Intellectually, I understood that my mother and aunt were thinking about saving money, time, etc., getting things done in life, but emotionally, I felt very uncomfortable and wished that I could've bathe alone. They didn't rape me or ask me to touch them, but I'm still confused about whether this would be considered sexual abuse or not. My mother and aunt obviously didn't think so, but it felt like it to me. I also hated being forced to undress for gym, in front of my classmates, in school.

April 21, 2009
8:23 pm
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fantas
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September 29, 2010
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Lostnlife,
I don't think so, IMO. I think they were intrusive, they crossed your boundaries, and weren't sensitive to your needs, but I wouldn't call it sexual abuse. I think in many families, parents do not look at childen as individuals whose boundaries need to be respected and often disregard the sensitivities of children. I think your feeling uncomfortable was your gut instict telling you that your boundaries were being crossed. Of course any resistance on your part wasn't respected but that didn't mean that your boundaries weren't crossed.

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