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was this a dumb question
December 20, 2004
9:00 pm
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lostforever
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as many of u know I left my husband because i had lost myself in the marriage and because of the drunk verbal & mental abuse on both parts. I've been clean for 6 months and seperated for 4.
He met this friend(girl) who he went to vegas with. Didnt sleep with her until recently.(hes being totaly open and honest with me now). He told me he would always be there and wait for me cause this was a good thing i was doing for both of us. Well he got drunk and claims lonelyness.
Okay tonight we talked and he still wants to be there and is telling me to continue in doing for myself. He wants me to love myself again and says he will be there when i find who i am. Ect.....
This is embarrising but i have to get someone elses opinion. But I text him and told him its a real shame i have my desire for sex back and no one to share it with.(before he went to vegas we were still having sex).
He text back and told me he couldnt come tonight. (thats not what i was aking him to do.) but i continued on texting him and said that maybe i need to find a sex friend.(not that I could.) so i wouldnt be so lonely. i asked him if he would still be there for me and still want me.

Well I've gotten no response and am not sure how to take it. Was this just a stupid question?

December 20, 2004
9:08 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Sounds like he doesn't like the shoe on the other foot. He can have his sex friend and no comment when you ask.

I really don't see what was stupid about the question. I just think he didn't think you would/could whatever.

December 20, 2004
9:22 pm
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opal
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I agree with mamacinnamon, seems like he can do it and you can't, just not fair, not equal, and every relationship, no mattter what, should always be equal, otherwise someone always looses.

December 20, 2004
9:23 pm
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free
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Not a dumb question at all.

I don't think he's responding kuz the "I can't come tonight" means he's with somebody- preoccupied so to speak.

December 20, 2004
9:26 pm
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lostforever
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no hes home alone I know for a fact. I wont say how but i know(LOL).

December 20, 2004
9:56 pm
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mamacinnamon
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lost,

lol. you go girl! We do have our ways, don't we.

December 21, 2004
8:50 am
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lostforever
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well no response at all to my question. At least I think I made him think. I have found alot of Narcistic personalities in him from research on computer. And one thing they say you need to do to make them open their eyes to the way they treat someone is to abandon them.
When they feel they have nomore control or are alone they will change, but my question is for how long. My husband has been known to change many times but it never seems to last.
i was thinking last night about how letting him go is worse than letting a substance abuse go.
I feel i am addicted to him now i just have to break the habit of it. I broke alcohol easier than this, Why would that be? Why is breaking up harder?

December 21, 2004
9:00 am
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opal
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lost,

the most powerful of all emotions is love, thats why its hard to let go, just focus on whats best for you and never underestimate yourself

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