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was FIRED today from job.........(camer)
July 21, 2007
10:10 am
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Anonymous
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Hi, Camer.

I'm sorry to hear of what happened to you. Boy, do I know that situation well.

Having worked for all types of employers, as well as in the human resources field, I noticed a couple of what I perceived to be "red flags" in your description of the auction job that I wanted to share with you.

You have a guy there who's had one woman working for him for a number of years, and a daughter who fills in as needed. He freely admits that the woman who works for him doesn't usually get along with anyone.

I've seen this sort of scenario before and it is ALWAYS dysfunctional. A guy forms a company -- many times just "his name" with "inc." at the end -- and enlists his wife, kids, and perhaps one or two other employees who don't care if they don't have a life, as prettymuch his indentured servants.

The system ends up working for that little group, but when a new employee comes in from the outside, he/she usually doesn't end up fitting in -- or lasting very long.

I've found that in order to stay in that kind of environment, you have to be willing to check your self-respect at the door every day. Most people are not willing to do that.

However -- ladies like us (I don't know what originally brought you here, Camer, but I'm assuming it was an abusive relationship of some kind) are often pretty low on self-respect to begin with, and so many times we end up in these kinds of jobs either for much longer than we'd like, or else we go from shitty job to shitty job. Either way, we stay stressed out, making ourselves crazy and thinking there's something wrong with us for having a normal reaction to an abnormal situation.

11 or 12 years ago, I was offered a job on the spot working for a man whose secretary of 20+ years had just left. I remember the interview well, because it consisted prettymuch of this: "You really can't take a lunch break because we need you by the phone every single minute. There's also a lot of shouting and cursing around here, but it's not personal. Is that OK? Good, you're hired."

This man had his son and the same 2 guys working for him for years, and it was no exaggeration what he had said. I was in the office alone a lot, and the boss would call in and ream me out for having gone to the bathroom for 5 minutes! I also learned way more information about their family than I should have known, because he and his son got into some arguments that were not to be believed.

After a couple months, I ended up sneaking in early one morning, leaving a note on his desk saying I couldn't take it anymore, and getting the hell out of there.

Thankfully, I'm much healthier now. I've had other bad experiences, but for the past year and a half have worked for a WONDERFUL company where people are encouraged to grow, and have lives, and where everyone helps each other out.

My definition of "normal" was derived from growing up in an alcoholic home. It took me 10 years, therapy, Al-Anon, and training in the human resources field for me to learn the difference between a "normal" stressful workplace and a situation such as I've described above.

I would say the two biggest red flags in a job situation are: 1) small place, one man; and 2) being offered a job on the spot. A good employer will want to take some time after an interview to check your references and discuss your qualifications with someone else at the company. Someone who offers the job to you on the spot without doing this is more than likely just looking for a body to fill a seat, and won't have any interest in you as an individual.

Sorry this ended up so long, and I hope I didn't sound preachy. I look forward to seeing how it goes for you.

July 21, 2007
12:14 pm
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readyforachange
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(((camer))) so sorry you're having to go through this, and second-guessing your reaction to the news. Crying is a normal reaction, I do it all the time, but it does make me feel weak and I regret that I react that way...so I know how you feel.

I think this man was just looking for a reason to let you go...maybe even set you up by allowing you to do the dog-walking so he could use it against you. I feel that anytime someone is fired, they should have a warning and a probationary period to prove that they can improve their job performance. On the spot firing just is so unfair, and I'm sorry this happened to you.

I do agree that the pet-sitting/dog-walking business could be very lucrative for you, with very little investment. See if you can advertise on church/store bulletin boards or in local free newspapers for little or no money. If you are willing to keep the animals for weeks or weekends, it may be a great business for you. Kennels cost a fortune and many people don't like leaving their pets there...worth a try???

As they say, when a door closes a window opens...or something like that. I know this is a shock right now, but maybe it was meant to be and will be an opportunity for you?

Take care, and enjoy your time with mom and sis...

July 21, 2007
1:24 pm
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It No Longer Matters
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Camer, I don't know the situation, but think about this: Were you really happy with the job? Were you just getting by? Once in my early twenties I was fired from a job. I had explained to my boss that I had made an appointment with a therapist to deal with some issues. I was going on my lunch hour but wanted him to know I might be a couple of minutes late getting back. He called me in his office right before lunch and fired me. Luckily I left there and went straight to the therapist. One of the issues I was dealing with was that I hated the job. They had hired me for inside sales, what they really wanted me to do was answer the phone and be the receptionist. I was miserable. I am not a person who can handle multiple phone lines and getting messages correctly to the right people. The therapist explained that I was so hurt because I had wanted to quit them before they could quit me and if I hated the job why was I upset. Think about it. Maybe it will help. If not, do you want a very bad little kitten?

Bitsy

July 21, 2007
4:27 pm
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CAMER
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((north easter)) you are so right, his auction company is say Bob Smith Auctioneer (not his real name, but you get the point) and yes, small company 3 employees, and yes, his daughter has helped out on "many" occassions. And you didn't sound preachy, just honest, which is good...and yes, he pretty much told me on the interview that I was the best candidate, and he only checked one reference and hired me immediately. And to top it off, my
lady coworker is the MOM and her son works in Mr. Auctions warehouse, so it is like a family thing....and they work there asses off, no benefits, either, they work literally around the clock for his company, me, I have a life and just do my job......maybe that's where he didn't see any dedication compared to my coworker and her son.

((Ready)) I am feeling alot better now, went for a long mountain climb with my sis, and felt great. As for Mr. Auction, he wouldn't give me a chance to "make things better" he just basically had me on the list to
"call it a day". Even though, I never was really a bad employee, never tardy, never stole/larceny, never stole cash at live auctions or screwed up on his bills...none of that......just minor things, writing down the wrong name (maybe the man calling could have slurred his words and thats why i wrote the wrong name) and the dog walking deal was done and over with in 5 days, and the
1 1/2 lunch, hey, i went to the dentist. So he has nothing on me. Nada!! and yes, another better door will open for me.

((bitsy)) I guess the only thing i like about my job was it was close to home, less than 15 minutes, and I worked alone, which I liked. But when working with my other lady coworker, yep, walking on eggshells, and I never knew what days she would show up, she sometimes showed up on non scheduled days to take care of her work...and yes, that put me on edge. All & all I *thought* my boss had more character than he did, now I know the truth, he used to be an ex cop for 20 years, and is probably used to talking down to others..and if things aren't "his way, his auction, working your ass off" HE is not happy.

I will keep you all posted on the next phase....filing the unemployment...and I know he will not want to do this, but I am going to fight for it.

((((thanks a bunch everyone))))

July 21, 2007
6:06 pm
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smarterone
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.Camer
Im so sorry for the job thing. I know how gong ho you are about working and being proud of your duties. I have no doubt that you are a good worker. I have no doubt that something will come your way soon because thats how you are, determined and responsible. Look at it this way, the auction place, they are going to regret this. Its their loss. Ill say a prayer for you. Keep me informed, i havent been on, been crazy here like old times again. "well my bags are packed im ready to go......im leaving on a jet plane, la la la la la lalala." Take cre my girl.

July 24, 2007
3:18 pm
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truthBtold
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Oh Camer,

So sorry to hear about this. Fricking asshole boss!!!!!!!

I have been laid off 3 times in the past!

The first time - I got a damn letter in the mail. Second time - was told on Tuesday that Friday would be my last day. Both times - I was just in shock.

But this last time - it was right after a Thanksgiving Holiday and I didn't hear anything about where I was supposed to go for the next week - so I called my boss and that's when he told me that there was no work for me....well, I just broke right on down and cryed and didn't hold back a thing!!!!!

I mean I WAILED!!!!! In between gasping for air....I managed to say words like......insurance......rent....food - I just went ahead and cried my heart and lungs out - then I got pissed off and told him how he is firing the wrong person because of this other employee, whom I trained by the way, and does a crappy jpb and the stores all ask for me to return. I just let him have it the whole while I was crying and sobbing...and I don't regret showing my feelings for one second.

Assholes like this ought to expect an emotional outburst when they act so abrasively! Let the guilt and shame and tears be on THEIR shoulders......NOT YOURS!!!!!!!

I say - milk that damn unemployement for all it's worth camer!!!!!!

July 24, 2007
3:53 pm
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smiling
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Camer--

I am so sorry you were let go from your job. It sounds like the boss has another plan and you unfortunately were not apart of it. That is why he blew up at you about losing a big account. That's bull. If he really had it, the name would not have been the reason he lost it. I run a small business and I know that's not what I lose business over.

I know you will find a better opportunity. Don't let this get you down. You deserve better and will find it. This boss was unrealistic.

Just remember to keep doing a good job.

All the Best!
Smiling

July 24, 2007
4:10 pm
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SadMike
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CAMER

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. For all my pessimism, I'm still believe that all will work out for the best for you.

Some things cannot be helped and a bad boss is one of those things.

And thank you for taking the time to talk with me as well. 🙂

August 26, 2007
1:25 pm
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Dawg
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Camer,
Be strong in life.
This is from a far away
Dawg.

August 26, 2007
3:23 pm
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CAMER
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hey Dawg, good to see you...thanks for the strength, as i am still fighting with Employment, appealing, its a long story, i should find out in Sept if I can collect & when/if i do, it'll be all "retro" from July 20th!!! good to chat with you!
(((camer)))

August 26, 2007
4:33 pm
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OopsADaisyFuentes
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Camer..i am sorry about the loss of your job. But sometimes what we think is a loss is an opportunity. Maybe there is a better job out there for you! I know that is easier said than done sometimes and trust me from someone who has been there that i don't take the job searching thing lightly. But from reading your story it just seems like you are better off not being there with someone who didn't respect or appreciate you. We all make mistakes and if they are gonna be that petty...it was maybe not for you.

When one door closes, another opens right? So i will keep you in my prayers that one opens for you on this..bigger and better! I won't give you all the job seeking advice...but i will say..follow your heart. Peace.

August 26, 2007
4:49 pm
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CAMER
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thanks Oops!! funny thing the last job i had that I was "fired" at, the Auction Co, he granted me benefits!!! he even is going to tell
people who check references for the job, that **i was laid off, not enough work**.....so HE is being good with the unemployment, but he has his motives, of hiring his daughter and letting me go....Anyways, my appreal is still in action cuz of some type of money situation, nothing to do with the Auction company, such a long story, but I know something good will come of it!! thanks for the boost in confidence Ooops Daisy!!!

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