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Wanting out of this one sided relationshiop
September 21, 2003
11:36 pm
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nelly01
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September 24, 2010
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I have been involved with this married man for 15 years now. I have never spent a holiday with him. When we use to go out I would always pay for everything. I wanted to go to New York once to visit my aunt. He said I will take you. Fine. I ended up paying for the gas there and back. The food and the hotel. When he went to take a shower I looked in his pocket and he had $300 dollars in their and did not spend one dime the whole trip. This is just one of many instances like this. Why I put up with it I just don't know. I am a hard working women who works two full time jobs. I take care of myself and all my problems are my own. He has never helped me financially or even given me emotional support when I needed it.

September 22, 2003
4:03 am
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Anam Cara
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September 30, 2010
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Nelly01

You remind me of my relationship just ended. I also completed a 15 year stint and sadly I would have continued with our relationship - but she dumped in the end.

Co-dependency is a killer of the essential self - I have now come to relies I am a chronic co-dependent.

Looking at the list of 21 typical signs of co- dependency - I found I had a score of 19.

My discovery was the beginning of my cure - but I must admit that unless she had abandoned me I would never have recovered my essential self. The latter is a way of saying be warned - like me we only have our dependence to blame - nothing actually to do with him.

Take painful action - otherwise he will continue to suck you dry . Why should he not - after all you are eager to please him - forgive him - hide the truth from him - whilst he languishes in self indulgence.

Actually my wife lost respect for me - she got bored by me - always clearing the way for her.

These threads have become my life line - my wife and I are beginning to meet up again for the odd meal out. - I feel that I am on the road to recovery because in the new light of day she seems so much less appealing - I not talking about looks!

Secretly I think she actually finds me more interesting - but actually I don't care a sod.

We are both free from the grip of a bad relationship - more my fault than hers.

LOL. Anam

September 22, 2003
9:02 am
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unhappy camper
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Nelly
Read my post to you in the "co-dependency" thread please.

September 22, 2003
8:22 pm
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gingerleigh
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September 30, 2010
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Hey, that's a great start! Recognizing that you want out. So what's stopping you? Want to talk about it here? Lots of supportive folks here who have either been there, done that, seen that, lived through that... etc. etc. etc. We're listening.

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