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walking away
October 24, 2006
8:55 pm
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kirikiri
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being here as well doing alot of thinking lately seems to have given me renewed energy & inner strength to see my ex in different light and to be able to say yes, to the thought that the only way forward for me is to keep walking away.
i have moments when i miss him to bits but reason & reality seem to have befriended me lately.talking here really helps.

October 24, 2006
9:44 pm
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needtoheal
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you go girl!! I fully support you with this decision.
I know that this can be very tough for you..
In my situation, the best thing for me to do is continue NO CONTACT with him at all..
He called me yesterday and I did not respond to his voice message that he left on my cell phone. He usually called me right as he was going to work in the morning when I was walking the kids to school.. so I do not even carry it with me...
He wanted to know if I had a good weekend or not (as if it is not possible for me to have a good weekend without him )
I will not call him at all.... he does not even deserve to hear my voice...
The best thing to do is walk away....

October 24, 2006
10:11 pm
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kirikiri
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thank you.

October 26, 2006
11:20 pm
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chloeysmomma
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iam still talking to the x i dont know iam dumb iam just tired of being ignored by my hubby and i think what is wrong with me iam scared to speak up and the x is always there for me its hard to walk away i cant do it hes back in my life and its hard to walk away

October 27, 2006
8:31 pm
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kirikiri
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it's a week since my last contact with the x.now that's big for me.
the compulsive cycle must be broken.

October 27, 2006
8:40 pm
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cyndra820
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Kiri,

Congratulations on the one week mark!!! Take it one day at a time. That's what I do. I've been NC for almost ten days!!!

Choleysmomma,
You do what's best for you. You are not dummb or anything else for still being in contact with your x. When you are ready to be done with him you can come visit on the No Contact thread.

Take care,
Cyndra

October 27, 2006
8:54 pm
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Rasputin
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Congrats Kir. You're doing the right thing and keep doing it. I miss my friend so much and many times I feel that I will break down and want to call him and see what he's doing and tell him that I am praying for him and his gf...yet, by just visualizing myself doing it - calling him - I'm pretty sure that my self-esteem would diwindle right away...so I back off and keep myself busy with any thing but the phone. This machine is so dangerous b/c it just brings that person into our senses.

Way to go!!!

October 27, 2006
9:03 pm
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pleasant
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I give anyone who has no contact even more than a day, a lot of credit. I haven't found the strength to do that yet even though I've tried. I don't know why I care so much, but I feel that if I don't answer the phone when he calls, then he'll run over to his "friend's " house even though she only wants to be friends. Just the fact that he wants to converse with her about our marriage and other personal problems he's having, is actually more painful then if he was having a sexual relationship with her. I've been, what I thought, his best friends for 5 years and I don't want to give up that title. Unfortunately, I think he's given that title to someone else anyhow. I can only hope that I can get through a day without contact with him. I pray for the strength to do that. Props to you.

October 27, 2006
9:09 pm
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kirikiri
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i'm having a good smile here inspite this terrible,familiar sense of loss--you doing so well and then *&^%that dreaded feeling washes over.
if it will make anyone happier,this is the first time in 4 years i'm able to think clearly & sensibly about what why i'm doing calling/texting the x.

October 27, 2006
9:15 pm
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kirikiri
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kinda helps to know that it's just a feeling-this sense of loss-so like all feelings, it will pass.
oh,but going through it.what a draining effort.but worth it.
do you know he wants us to be friends?
i have tried.but i always get disappointed in the end.
so this time better be ditto.

and then the feeling comes again --to contact him.he never returns my txt messages, nor calls.

i think it's being able to identify our fears & knowing what we really fear the most.
but let go is the motto i like.

October 27, 2006
9:18 pm
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kirikiri
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where is the NO CONTACT THREAD?

October 27, 2006
9:23 pm
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pleasant
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I agree with you kirikiri and trying to remain friends is difficult if not impossible because of the damage that has already been done. I do understand the fear that you mentioned, which I think, is the fear of not being loved. Many people think its the fear of being alone, but it's deeper than that. I also can identify with the "dread" that you're feeling. That's exactly how I define my feelings and it's like a dark cloud that never goes away completely. I also know from past experience, that there is light at the end of the tunnel, but it's hard to get close enough to see it right now. I do know, that you'll get there and so will I. Keep trying and you will reach your goal.

October 27, 2006
9:29 pm
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kirikiri
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thank you.i just have to keep moving on.
i also think that it's best to sever all ties with mutual friends?
the x believes that seeing one another will make us stronger to move on and be friends.
he's the one who dumped me.

let go,move on..

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