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Walked on and hurt
February 21, 2001
6:53 am
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GothicGirl
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This may sound dumb coming from a 14 yr old but right now I think the one thing that would make me entirey happy at least fof awhile would be having a boyfriend. A guy that liked me truely and didn't break it off after a week. A guy that we would spend hours talking and stuff and it wouldn't even seem like we were going out but in a way it would because it would be all hugs and cuddling too. Ok well know that I am goingto snap out of that dream it sounds to good an like it could never come true.

February 21, 2001
9:21 am
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Alena
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GothicGirl, just had to step into this thread for just one moment.

I've been reading your posts for a while now. But when you start adding that "perfect relationship" with some guy who just wants to cuddle and hug and love without breaking off mess to your equation, you are only asking for more disappointments and problems. Trust me. As hard as it is to find "friends" who are sincere and love you for YOU, a guy who has hormones raging and no intentions of commitments, and maybe even some issues of his own to deal with, good grief, you're setting yourself up for pain on top of pain. Especially if you think it's all love and hugs and cuddling. It isn't. It is never that easy. Unless it only lasts a week. Then it's done. I think most high school guys can commit for a week. Big deal. More heartbreak for you.

If you want a guy in your life, just let him be your friend for now. First find a way to feel good about YOURSELF before you start to deal with matters of the heart. You've got alot of time ahead of you little girl to start that roller coaster ride.

Those huggy, cuddly, loving, LASTING relationships take a lot of effort and work to keep going. I think most girls who have been in long relationships with their boyfriends will tell you it's alot of ups and downs. Work on just YOU for now. I'm afraid if you have such huge expectations of a relationship, you will be sadly hurt.

February 21, 2001
10:01 pm
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Molly
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No, no, no, and no, don't don't don't and I understand the dream, but what Alena states is true, and if I remember correctly she is the mother of boys. At this age, they will use you and hurt you, as they are confused and full of hormones worse than us, they just get hard on's looking at magazines for crying out loud. Its the truth, and turning to a man, is like turning to a drug right now. Definately not the right thought process, and so many women have ruined their lives by wishing for just what you did, now gone with the thoughts, and love your self, the way you want some one else to. Save your self, learn who you are, be becomming of a great woman, we need you.

February 21, 2001
10:42 pm
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GothicGirl
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Ok so todya I had a pretty good day and I am not exactly sure I was just kind of in a good mood. But yeah I am well aware that my wish is bad see I work at a Girl Scout camp full of the whole boys are icky and stuff and the you don't have to be perfect you don't have to shave here just be yourself (personally I think that is gross not to shave!!!! just my insight) but I guess thats just what part of me wants. I have a few close friends that are guys but all we do is talk and tell eachother outr life stories and shares secrets and stuff and I know that is a good start but I want the physical part too. I understand that a long relationship is hard to keep up with and things but there is still that small part of me that wishes I could be physically closer to a guy even if he was just a friend maybe if like cuddled together or anything but I know that won't happen. The one guy I thought that I had that with turned out to be wrong cause all he was in it for was to get some(and he DIDN'T may I add) but there is just a sence of void in my life without it and I am not sure why or how else to fill that empty space.

February 22, 2001
12:12 pm
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Molly
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They say we all have it, some have compared it to crawling back into the mother's womb. Nice place to hide, but .... The physical stuff, no , no , no. I don't think boys can cuddle after the age of 10 with out sexual thoughts, till say some where around 50 something. Sex gets in the way for women to grow and develop into our own person, a mindset that has gone on since forever. As soon as we hook up, then our world becomes their world, then we are lost needy and dependent. Girls shouldn't hook up with guys, until they are ready for marriage, then date. When you have your education, credit cards, and every thing you want , then look for that physical comfort, because the price that is paid, is a big one, your dreams, your time, your energy, your everything. Most young girls start out unsuspecting, get dumpped, move on, full of hopes that this is Mr right, then dumped again, then with all the pain, and possible other stuff you know babies, disease, and then the possibility of continued self medicating because of the pain, emotional of course, and the funny thing is every woman never thought it would happen to her, but there are millions out there going DUH, I thought he was different. With respect to shaving the legs, I prefer it to, and when I don't I pretend to be European. 🙂

February 24, 2001
2:28 pm
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GothicGirl
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Well now that I have unlocked one of my deep darkest secrets to my best guy friend I don't know what is going to happen between me and him I don't know if it will make us more distant or pull us closer. Closer I hope because with him we can like sit together and be close and hang out and stuff and nothing more will ever happen and you may say that that's not possible but with him it is. I guess I am so for sure about this because we tried to date one time and it just didn't work we were to good of friends so I am not sure I hope I can trust him.

February 26, 2001
10:02 pm
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GothicGirl
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Ok so the solution I thought I had to fulfill my desires didn't happen. Me and him barely talk now except online I kind of feel like my friendship with him is fake. But whatever.

February 27, 2001
12:03 pm
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Molly
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Not fake, but maybe not as deep as you are searching for. Looking for love in all the wrong places??????

February 27, 2001
7:21 pm
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GothicGirl
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I guess that might be it the deepness and closeness isn't there or at least always there. And like once inawhile we go through like not talking and I will think he is mad and he says he isn't and stuff.

February 27, 2001
7:32 pm
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Molly
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Opps, did you forget that boys don't mature as fast as girls? Sometimes I wonder when they do, but its like cats and dogs, you need a best friend, and a healthy one at that, a solid gold girl friend, sister type. I had one at your age, its amazing since 5th grade, and we still keep in touch. She used to stay at my house when her mom had PMS, before M.D's acknowledged that PMS was real. Speaking of PMS, touchy subject, but have you tracked yours, and maybe your moms, usually all the women in the house have the same schedule, maybe that is why things are smooth, then insane. We women can get to be something else, and not even realize it. We during ancient times used to go to caves. Hmmm not a bad idea, maybe a modern day spa?????

February 28, 2001
8:59 pm
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GothicGirl
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Well yeah I guess that kind of slipped my mind but I guess this year I was hoping the would start to catch up but was I wrong. Well on that ever so touchy subjct of PMS my mom and mine are 2 weeks apart and not to mention I have another younger sister with it and 2 more to go(boy do I feel sorry for my dad) Me I don't really get crabby I end up to sick to(I get phsically sick to my stomach and all that pleasent stuff) But my mom man sometimes I think its 24/7 PMS for her but I am not sure.

March 1, 2001
12:25 pm
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Molly
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It could be, we women have been science projects for so long who knows, they didn't even believe it existed even 10 years ago, I guess we have come a long way. Gotta get to work. Have a great day.

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