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waiting and afraid
March 5, 2007
4:59 pm
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thumkin
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Hello its been a while. Good to see a few names back. I am waiting. I am so tired of waiting, afraid that while I am waiting for my life to begin it is passing me by. I want a home for my girls and me. I am too afraid to buy a home because I cant find a different job and I am afraid to stay at the job I have cuz I am afraid the contract will not be renewed at the end of the year and I will not have a job. I am afraid to goto the doctor because I dont have insurance. I am afraid of where my relationship may or may not go. I am afraid my baby does not want to live with me anymore and I dont know why. Everything seems to be going ok right now but it is not going anywhere. It is like I am afraid to live. I am afraid of going to hell. I am afraid of taking chances and winding up in a situation I cannot get out of. I am afraid of messing up my girls lives. Does anyone know what this feels like and how to get out of this mode and start living?

March 5, 2007
8:33 pm
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spritualgirl
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Dear thumkin,
Give it all to God and then get out of the way.
SG

March 6, 2007
8:12 am
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Robert123
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Letting go, sometimes, is one of the hardest things to do but ultimately produces the greatest reward...serenity. Spiritualgirl has shared some good advice.

March 6, 2007
8:40 am
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Dear thumkin, so glad to see your post. I am so sorry you are feeling so much fear and anxiety.

It sounds very familiar to me. When I do not fight it, I feel all those feelings of waiting, too, like something is going to come along.....maybe the phone will ring. Etc. And it seems like the THINGS that I am doing are more mechanical things.....just not happy.

I'm pretty aware of being depressed. I do not want to take an anti-depressant because I feel this is a style of thinking and I would rather work on breaking my thinking habits......

Try to think back to one very very happy, satisfying time in your life and ask some questions, like WHY WHAT WHO WHERE.....give yourself time to remember that moment and WHY it felt so good.

Remember back to another time when you were feeling extremely proud of yourself. Ask the questions again.

Any time you are feeling those feelings of fear, try to come up with another "voice" that is more aggressive and adept at problem-solving that will argue with you to take a calculated risk.

All those "courage" lines come to my mind, like:

And if you don't go back to school because you're already 48....next year you'll be 49 and you still don't have that degree/training....

Here is one of my favorite questions: If you had your "druthers", and money and children/lovers/family or location or qualification were not issues, what kind of job could you see yourself doing and being really fulfilled (in)?

Sorry this sounds so drifty, thumkin, it tends to be how I think, but there is a point here in trying to change HOW we think. Giving it to God is great, too. Just allowing our negative thoughts to control us, rather than controlling our thoughts ourselves is so destructive.

March 6, 2007
11:54 am
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thumkin
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spiritual girl. I think that is great advice. How do you do that?

March 6, 2007
12:00 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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(((thumkin))) I am not much for advice right now as my world is crumbling around me, but I wanted to give you a hug and tell you that I am thinking about you.

Mich

March 6, 2007
12:49 pm
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thumkin
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thanks mich. Im sorry to hear you are not doing so good. I will send up a prayer for you. I am positive in the end it will all work out for the best. Take care and I will be thinking about you.

March 6, 2007
8:34 pm
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spritualgirl
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thumkin,
The way I give things to God is by saying to the fear or anxiety or whatever comes up..... God here is my fear,here are these feelings I give them all to You. I do this as many times as it takes to have a sense that God really is in charge. And I replace my fearful thinking with the thoughts I really want to have... for instance, I say instead of I am afraid of how this or that will turn out, I say God is in charge and everything is going to turn out exactly like it is supposed. I say I am exactly where I should be, stuff like that. And I get out of the way by having faith and not trying to control things and being gentle with myself and doing my leg work and praying alot!!!! I also remind myself that feelings are feelings and they will pass. Here is one of my favorite prayers by Marianne Willamson from her book Illuminata
Dear God,
I surrender to you my striving. I let go all need to effort and to stuggle. I relax deeply into things exactly as they are. I accept life that it might move through me grace.
Amen
Holdong you in prayer.......
SG

March 8, 2007
2:32 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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(((thumkin))) Thinking of you my dear. Hoping that you have found some peace. I know that it is not easy, as I am asking myself some of those same questions. I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and holding you close.

Mich

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