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vent to my ex
April 22, 2005
9:49 pm
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Esther
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September 30, 2010
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I have spoken about you lately- about the lessons I have learned from our too long relationship. I have heard some stories of women that have been through a relationship like the one we had. I am proud that I finally got off the damned rollercoaster that killed every ounce of life in me. I have been free, truely free for some time now. God has helped me to move on, and all thought i hurt for the time I spent trying to save our relationship- trying to get you to stop drinking and drugging- and lying to me about it- trying to show how much I loved you when you never could really love me-
I have met a wonderful man- a gift from God-who shows me love like you never could. He knows of codependency issues and is willing to work with me towards recovery instead of manipulating me for being codependent.
And then-
you call. One little phone call and my world rocks. How dare you after all this time? I realize that we were both a little codependent on each other, and that parts of us will always hurt. We have hurt each other. But that part of me has died.
I can love again! And he is worth loving!
Leave me alone- your memories haunt me enough as it is. You dont know me anymore.
I have self worth, and I know that only by the grace of God will you ever become the man you would say you wanted to be. ( and then change your mind.) I pray that you find your happiness. I have found mine.

April 23, 2005
4:24 am
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toomanytears
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September 29, 2010
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esther,

i know this was a vent letter to your ex. ..and it was great that you got it out like that. that's why i always come back to this support group. . your words just show your strength and it helps people like me know there's hope out there. i'm still with my b/f but from reading your letter, it just makes me realize more what i need and deserve from my relationship with him. i have just learned about co-dependency and have come to accept that this is the way i am and will learn through this (i.e. put myself FIRST!!) but i need to address this to b/f too before it destroys our relationship any more.

i am so proud of you and your happiness. . . may it stay with you and your new love as long as it can.

all the best,
toomanytears

April 23, 2005
7:55 am
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peacesoul
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Esther..oh my God, my heart just fell. This is the letter I could write verbatim !

I feel exactly this way also, My ex is drug/booze/sex addict and took me for a sick/sad ride for 2 1/2 yrs.
Well we have been apart (no contact) for 3 months and I have finally been getting my life together. I have made so many realizations.
I also fear he will try to squeeze his way back into my life some how.
BUT, I know I am strong enough (like you are here) to not let it change the progress of our healing.

Thanks for sharing your letter.....it made me smile :- )

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