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valerie04
February 9, 2004
9:50 pm
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valerie04
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September 27, 2010
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Left him, still talking to him, will he ever change his abusive ways?

February 9, 2004
10:29 pm
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zack
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hello valerie04 - i do not claim to be an expert in any field i do not feel anyone can claim to be an "expert" with all there is to learn- i just want to preface this before i tell you i work in a field in which i have seen the cycle of abuse/domestic violence/ control what ever you want to call it break woman/people down so far they never heal. if i can ask why are you still talking to him? is it necessary (kids,work together etc) will he ever change you ask? does he want to change? one thing is for sure you ,nobody, can change him but him. in my experience 90 percent of people do not change unless they invest the time effort and guts to doing so- he may not feel there is anything to change !!! the abuser is usually oblivious and self -centered that is why they abuse. they are opportunist and will do as little as they need to to control the situation- example the victim gets stronger the perpetrator's level of abuse elavates usually causing the victim to back down.
do you love yourself? do you feed on attention-even though it may be negative?

please get some objective one-on-one,even if it is a short term need, counseling there are several agencies that offer free or low cost -check it out. one thing remains true- NO MAN CAN SAVE ANOTHER- best of luck to you

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