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UPS called today
November 12, 2003
6:37 pm
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silence
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Not really. The other guys at work are starting to say that I need therapy. I keep putting myself down before they get a chance to.

November 12, 2003
6:48 pm
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silence
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Oh yeah. And I just D/Led the new Harry Potter trailer. Pretty cool. I forgot to add my internet time to my list of life wasting activities.

November 12, 2003
6:50 pm
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unhappy camper
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Wouldn't it be worth a shot? You seem to be holding on tight to your sadness and loneliness. What if a therapist could help you find out where it came from, why, what is happening now inside you, how to cope, how to change for the better?
Why not give it a chance? No one has to know. I think you need some one on one guidance. I'd be thrilled to hear you feel happier.

November 13, 2003
1:11 am
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mj
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Hey Silence.....Way to go!!!
We're employed and earning money. I remember when both of us were still looking. Now you are getting more opportunities. It's just a step at a time, my friend.

November 13, 2003
4:22 am
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silence
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No more therapy for me thanks. They aren't going to throw me back in the hospital if I can help it.

November 13, 2003
1:45 pm
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eve
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Hey silence,

sounds like a good decision to me. I'm sure you'll get one hell of a peaceful and joyful time the weeks before christmas - our delivery people here are usually completely stessed out during this time. Hope you'll get some tips, too, and make some extra money.

So - when can you start thinking about movinig out from home and getting your own place?

November 13, 2003
1:58 pm
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gingerleigh
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Hey Silence, just popping in to give you some congrats on the driving gig. That is pretty cool!

November 13, 2003
2:32 pm
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unhappy camper
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What would you have to do to get your co-workers to say to you "you rock!". You say you put yourself down before they do.

How would you go about reversing that? How would you impress them?

It might be a good lesson for you.

What do people find attractive about others? Why are they liked, respected, popular, etc.??? Can you go there too?

November 13, 2003
2:41 pm
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silence
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I'm not going to be doing any driving. The other guy drives around. I hop out of the truck as quickly as possible and throw the package on the front door. I'm just there to help out while the flow is heavy.

I want to move out, but I'm only making $150 a week. It's not easy to get a place for that rate + living expenses.

People on the midnight shift don't have a lot of respect or courtesy for each other. It really is just a bunch of guys cursing each other out for 4 hours while we load trucks. It's fun and I like the people I work with. But this isn't group therapy. I don't tell these guys any more than they need to know about me, and I don't want to know their dark secrets either.

November 13, 2003
6:09 pm
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silence
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Well. I have yet to deliver a single package. My orientation starts tomorrow. I'm sure there's more to it than just throwing it at the front door.

November 14, 2003
9:31 pm
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silence
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OK. They explained the whole process to us. We are rushed to deliver as many packages as possible. For single family houses/condos the proceedure is to fill out the forms while we ring the bell. If the person answers. fine. If not, we have to put the package out of site and out of weather. Then move on to the next house.

All apartments and businesses have to be signed for. And there are a bunch of other exceptions that need signatures. But anything normal in a typical house can just be dropped off.

I didn't know that there was a dress code, though. I knew I'd have to wear the brown uniform, but I also have to shave off the beard. Only moustaches are allowed, and that makes me look REALLY gay. So I'm just gonna have to take it all off. I don't have to worry about anything else. I don't have piercings and my hair is short.

November 15, 2003
8:42 pm
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silence
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The beard is coming off. No choice in that. But I'm keeping the rest. They don't want anything stylish. We have to look like boring, respectible people.

November 15, 2003
10:07 pm
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silence
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No. Nobody delivers at night. I'm going to be working 2 shifts. During the day, I'm now going to be the driver's bitch. That's the technical term for my new job. At night I still load the trucks that go to the Baltimore area.

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