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Update on Robbie
April 14, 2009
10:14 am
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robbie2007
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So I wrote to an online counselor and was able to say what I could not here. It cost $50 per half hour so I only had 2 sessions so far and will have to wait maybe another month for another one.

I kinda like that tho - it gives me time to think about things.

it felt good to finally get out the truth. it was hard too. i told the counselor about this fantasy world i live in. not only in my head, but in real life.

the counselor is indicating that it is normal. and even suggested to ......

well, im in a relationship with someone who doesnt realize this about me. the counselor suggested i tell the person and then that person might want to continue to role play with me. I am a bit confused by that. Its bad enough that i'm doing it for sick reasons, but to suggest the other person join me?

i'm wondering what y'all think about that advice? everything else she said made sense and seemed professional.

do you have fantasies (and im not talking sexual) in which you and your partner role play?

April 14, 2009
10:50 am
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It No Longer Matters
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Robbie, I think I would be careful. If this other personality is bothering you.... is it? I don't know that I would draw someone else in, but if you are comfortable enough with this person maybe you could share. If you think it is sick reasons I would trust my gut here. {{{{{robbie}}}}

Bitsy

April 14, 2009
10:58 am
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atalose
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My take on what the counselor suggested is:

Since you are living a fantasy world in your head and in real life that perhaps the person you are involved with should be made aware of that. And then this person has a choice to make, stay and be part of this fantasy life or not.

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

April 14, 2009
11:03 am
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robbie2007
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yes, exactly. so if the other person makes the choice to continue the fantasy, that does not help me get better. it only enforces what i am doing and make it ok. it is not ok. and i know that. thats why i reached out for help. so i can stop being in a fantasy world and be who i am and be happy with that. continuing in that world will not help.

April 14, 2009
11:15 am
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atalose
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I would tell this counselor exactly that, that you don’t want to continue this fantasy because you feel it’s detrimental to your recovery.

Maybe just end this relationship on your own for yourself and your recovery.

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

April 14, 2009
1:06 pm
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chelonia mydas
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Hi Robbie,

I fantasize a lot myself and it has helped me survive in life. I really enjoy having these alternate stories and places to visit that are all in my head. But I also know that they are pretend and they don't bother me. In fact they are often my safe haven to go to and feel safe and accepted when the reality of my life is not so kind.

I think our society has made playing pretend or fantasizing something that you aren't suppose to do as an adult, but that view just doesn't work. It falls in the same catagory as saying that men aren't suppose to cry. It just isn't realistic. There are folks out there who are creative and need an outlet for that and fantasy is a natural and normal way to be creative.

Its like the coffeehouse thread, we all know that when Camer makes coffee and apple pie that its just pretend, but at the same time its nice to play pretend and fantasize that we are having coffee and pie with friends. Especially when I don't have that in reality. It gives me a way to experience something that I want to but don't have the option to in my real world.

Another example is fiction writers and readers... they are all fantasizing and writing/reading pretend stories. It is a lot of fun. TV is another example of fantasy/pretend that our society engages in.

Is your fantasy any different than that? Can you share why you are so bothered by your fantasy life? Why do you feel it is wrong?

You are a very creative person, I would expect that you have a very vivid and wonderous fantasy life. Do you beleive your fantasy to be real? If there are troubling aspects of your fantasy why not just change them?

I'm glad you are reaching out to resolve this. You are worth feeling comfortable and happy with who you are and how you choose to live your life.

April 15, 2009
8:20 am
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It No Longer Matters
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robbie how are you today?

Bitsy

April 15, 2009
8:40 am
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robbie2007
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Hi Bitsy thanks for asking.

I am doing ok, but yesterday was a bit traumatic for me. I had a doctor appointment. I have never gotten a physical and dont want one. I dont want to be touched AT ALL. so last year when she talked about it and I told her I didnt want one she said thats ok, I keep forgetting to talk to you about things so schedule an appointment for the amount of time it will take for a physical.

so i did. and just as I thought she was all prepared to give me a physical. I made it very clear to the nurse practioner that i did not want one.

so when the doctor comes in she says, so i hear you dont want your physical today no more half hour appointments for you. So I told her SHE was the one who told me to make it for a half hour. and she said because she thought she was doing a physical and i said i had told her I didnt want one. she asked me why I didnt want one and I bit my tongue as I feel I dont have to justify my reasons. its my body and I dont want no one touching it. that is not what i said tho - i just said it was too uncomfortable and when she argued about it i then had to explain that my feelings on it were strong and she can sit there and suggest, scold and lecture all she wants but i do not want to be touched. I told her i didnt even like her to listen to my heart!and its true altho i did let her do that.

then she suggested blood tests which i was fine with except the nurse could not get the blood. they needed 3 tubes and barely collected enough for 1 when she poked the needle in further and jiggled it around and then it came out and that was that. then she tried with a buterfly needle in the side of my arm and that didnt work. finally she had to call someone from the lab to come up and do it. that person stuck me in the other arm with a butterfly needle and finally filled the other 2 tubes.

I was soooooo glad to finally be out of there.

It more than just not wanting to be touched. i feel like its some kind of violation. i dont like the feeling. the only who touches me is my mom if shes giving me a hug and thats it.

im really sorry to have gone on and on about it - i guess i needed to get my feelings out about it.

i feel anger about it.

April 15, 2009
11:00 am
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any time.

Bitsy

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