Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Update of THANKS!: Need help for broken heart
October 17, 2006
5:39 pm
Avatar
VelvetHeart
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hello my special friends! Especially want to say hello and Thank the very special people who wrote me on this message board. I have about 9 weeks under my belt of No Contact. It's like night and day from where I started! I am no longer in pain and it is like a Huge weight has been lifted off me. I couldn't have made it without your tender support and caring and especially without God's help. I actually don't mind being alone, it really amazes me! I'm ready to keep growing and learning more about myself and am getting excited about living a life that is healthy in all ways. For whomever is just starting No Contact, please, please, PLEASE keep the Faith...it DOES get so much better than where you are now. I know I was skeptical, but this Works!!!

I'd love to hear from startingover, nappy, soveryalone, red blonde, broken glass, stronginHim77, doubleloss, lovinglife, taj64 and shortcake; all of whom helped me so very much when I was in the pit of despair. I'd like to know how you're all doing.

Love you, Velvet~

October 17, 2006
5:42 pm
Avatar
StronginHim77
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 453
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

velvet -

What a wonderful posting!! Yes...I have seen "no contact" work in my own life. I have not laid eyes on my ex, since he dumped me in June. Yes - he has tried to make overtures to lure me back into contact with him and -- yes, I nearly fell for it, but I have managed to stay clear of him.

The pain is gone. I am not in that terrible agony. No Contact does work. Eventually, peace comes. It takes time to get used to being alone, not being part of a "couple," but I am adjusting. (Huge struggle at first for a woman who had been married for 20 years, before being widowed). But I am getting stronger every day.

- Strong

October 17, 2006
5:55 pm
Avatar
VelvetHeart
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi (((Strong)))!

High 5 sister :o)! And when that peace does come it's so amazing, isn't it. We are all strong to let ourselves feel that pain, let it run it's course, and let it go. I so understand about adjusting to being alone after being married for 18 yrs, separated, then NC with exbf. I actually thought the bf was a 'better catch' than my soon to be ex-husband and I understand how we shouldn't look for someone who has different qualities than our previous mate and thinking we've found someone better.

20 years is a long time. Strong, can I ask how you're keeping busy and if you're trying new things in your life?

October 17, 2006
6:07 pm
Avatar
doubleloss
Guest
Guests

hi velvet. wow! 9 weeks, i'm so happy that you are feeling so much better. How are you dealing with all. You were married 18 years and then had a bf? sounds like me....

i'm not progressing as well as you. i miss xbf sooooo much still, actually in the last couple of weeks it's worse. somedays i feel on the verge of calling him. i'm adjusting to being alone. i think i'm kind of moving on auto pilot.

anyway, it's wonderful to hear someone's good news, gives me hope.

October 17, 2006
6:17 pm
Avatar
StronginHim77
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 453
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Velvet -

I still have rough days, like all of us here on these threads. But overall, I am adjusting to being alone. Takes time. Involvement in others helps.

The first couple of years after being widowed were HELL. There is no other word for it. I grir geved beyond words. (My late husband commmitted suicide, following a long illness). Then, I had the two boys to finish raising. They are just about launched now (21 & 17). The older has his own place and the younger is leaving when he graduates in May.

So, I am also an "empty-nester." I try to keep busy with volunteer work as a chaplain for my local police dept., as well as a Christian-based cancer support & prayer group. A physical disability prevents me from taking a fulltime job. So, these volunteer activities help me feel involved with others and "useful" in a healthy (rather than codependent) way.

Yes, I am a recovering codependent. Each week, I grow stronger. Occasional set-backs, but that is to be expected. Recovery is a PROCESS. I am in that process by maintaining No Contact with the man I nearly married this past year (he was emotionally abusive) and trying to encourage others on these threads who are struggling with unhealthy relationships.

Thanks for your interest, Velvet.

- Strong

October 17, 2006
6:17 pm
Avatar
StronginHim77
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 453
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Velvet -

I still have rough days, like all of us here on these threads. But overall, I am adjusting to being alone. Takes time. Involvement in others helps.

The first couple of years after being widowed were HELL. There is no other word for it. I grir geved beyond words. (My late husband commmitted suicide, following a long illness). Then, I had the two boys to finish raising. They are just about launched now (21 & 17). The older has his own place and the younger is leaving when he graduates in May.

So, I am also an "empty-nester." I try to keep busy with volunteer work as a chaplain for my local police dept., as well as a Christian-based cancer support & prayer group. A physical disability prevents me from taking a fulltime job. So, these volunteer activities help me feel involved with others and "useful" in a healthy (rather than codependent) way.

Yes, I am a recovering codependent. Each week, I grow stronger. Occasional set-backs, but that is to be expected. Recovery is a PROCESS. I am in that process by maintaining No Contact with the man I nearly married this past year (he was emotionally abusive) and trying to encourage others on these threads who are struggling with unhealthy relationships.

Thanks for your interest, Velvet.

- Strong

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
30
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 111092
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38644
Posts: 714466
Newest Members:
graydor, doctorelvis, lion heart, thomson, BenjaminGresham, answerhope
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information