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Up late and worried
August 23, 2006
11:36 pm
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twentyyears
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I chose this nickname because I have been clean and sober for twentyyears and haven't figured "it" out yet. I have been in a relationship with a man, and i just found out that I don't have any respect for him. We argue about cleaning that house and other dumb things, and our love life(if you want to call it that) is suffering. We been together 5 years and think the expiration date is near. Help, I'm afraid toleave

August 23, 2006
11:37 pm
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ggfred4
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What are you afraid of?

August 23, 2006
11:41 pm
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Shaney
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Is your love life suffering as a result of the dumb things you fight about? Sometimes the dumb things can be fixed. What is it that you don't respect about him? Does he feel the same way?

August 23, 2006
11:42 pm
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twentyyears
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I am 51 I have HepC, Herpes, and I'm afraid i'll have trouble finding a new man (Dumb Huh ?) I'm afraid to start over.

August 23, 2006
11:45 pm
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twentyyears
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He is tired of the bikkering also. I just say anything out of my mouth, I don't think I treat him with repect

August 23, 2006
11:48 pm
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Shaney
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Not dumb... it is scary, even for those who don't have those things. My brother has herpes (as do MANY others that I know... people here too) and he's had many more success stories than failures. In fact, he's been married for several years now... happily. If you really feel that this is over, you owe it to yourself to seek out happiness. Don't look back another five years from now and wish that you had left. I just said this to someone earlier, but you have two choices - let life happen to you, or make life happen.

August 23, 2006
11:55 pm
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Shaney
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My mom is 58 and just left her bf of 7 years, two months ago. He was an idiot. She had a few rough days but is having the time of her life now. She feels better, and she LOOKS better. It's amazing how stress and an unhappy relationship can make you look. Really, I can hardly catch her at home anymore. There are already 3 wonderful men beating down her door. Life can be better if you want it to, but make darn sure that leaving is what you want, before you do it. The grass may look greener right now, but that lawn over there can be a lot of work too. Make sure.

August 23, 2006
11:57 pm
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twentyyears
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Thanks, I remember my sister telling me that if I didn't make a decision that one would be made for me, I think that sort of what you are saying. Starting over is tough when youlive is someone else's apt. You have to be the one that goes. I hardly want to shar that I have the time sober that i have, because I don't think I have done very well in the living dept. Have you seen the rents lately? 🙂

August 24, 2006
12:02 am
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twentyyears
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That's another reason I stay, because I'm not sure i am up to the work it will take if i leave. I also know that sometimes if you check out that crabgrass and weeds over there, you'll want to go running back to your mess. That;s why I want to be sure before i don anything rash.

August 24, 2006
12:02 am
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Shaney
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I was paying 1400 for a one bedroom in Los Angeles county. It's a rip off, for sure. But you have to ask yourself, "I may not be able to afford to leave, but can I really afford to stay?" What's your life and your happiness worth? There's always a way. Monetary comforts can never take the place of comfort in your heart and soul. I think there's a lot of growth when you get back out there on your own and take a chance. It's not all easy, but at least you're the one responsible for the momentum in your life. Move forward, always.

August 24, 2006
12:04 am
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Shaney
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No doubt... be SURE. I've always hated that back and forth crap. When I leave, I leave for good. I think you're being smart. Just don't let fear be the reason that you stay.

August 24, 2006
12:07 am
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twentyyears
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Thanks so much for the encouragement. Food for thought. Uh-Oh. That i what kept me up late night, thinking. I finally told God i didn't want to discuss it anymore and cried myself to sleep. 🙂 I am going to go try and sleep now, talk to you another time
Goodnight, It's midnight here

August 24, 2006
12:09 am
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Shaney
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Good luck, relax - talk to you later :o)

August 24, 2006
12:36 am
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ggfred4
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twenty, you're probably asleep, but I just wanted to tell you to follow your heart!!! On the other side, there have been MANY times I wanted to leave my husband but didn't because of the kids and I knew I really loved him. He can be such a jerk. Because of the love deep in my heart, I have stayed and am glad. Do what is best for you and listen to your heart. Take care...

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