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June 4, 2007
6:43 pm
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santino
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Hello all, I hope you are all having a great day!

2day is my ex's birthday. I feel wierd, just a short year ago we were together having a great day. Who would have thought it would have ended up like this. A year later were broken up, shes seeing someone else, she still calls me, shes out of state. What a year! I still think of her from time to time, and I'd like to sit here and say it's all better but it's not. I have some good days and some bad days. I can't wait to look back one day at all this and not have to hurt about it. Thanks for reading all.

June 4, 2007
6:59 pm
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StronginHim77
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She doesn't exist. Erase it from your reminder book, ok?

June 4, 2007
7:54 pm
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taj64
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I think of my ex everyday. But I no longer feel uptight about it. It really does get easier. You're right, life has its ups and downs. Even theugh she is out of your life, ups and downs happen. Everyday is about ups and downs. She needs to be told NOT to call you. Does she know this. You're too nice. Just say the ole "I don't want to be mean but I have to move on" speech. She will move on. You will heal faster if she STOPS calling you. You will. You deserve to be let go of her.

June 4, 2007
9:08 pm
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santino
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Hey Taj and Strong: Thanks for responding. Strong and encouraging words from both of you, like always. 🙂 Thanks 🙂

June 4, 2007
9:37 pm
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thewall
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Santino,

thinking of you. The pain fades with time so that the memories wont hurt as much.

hang in there

thewall

June 4, 2007
9:58 pm
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santino
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thewall: I know you are right. In so many ways I'm doing loads better than I was a year ago, trust me. 🙂 But from time to time, I do feel a little down.

I guess whats bothering me lately is that 4 months ago, I mustard up the strength and told her I wanted nothing to do with her or her life. She promised she wouldnt contact me and she did. And like an idiot, I gave in to her call 2weeks ago. Now, I'm back to what appears to be square one. I don't have her number so I cant call her and tell her not to call me. I'm at the mercy of her call.

I hate that it's so important to end it with respect. Many advised to just hang up on the next time she calls. She'll get the point many have said. I just feel wrong to do it that way. When we broke up, it was a bitter end. I was killing myself knowing that It ended with both of us mad at eachother. When I got the chance to end it my way with respect, I felt good about it. I felt vindicated as a person.

I guess it didn't work that way afterall huh? She still called. When will I learn that hearing from her still hurts after a year of seperation. I like talking to her, but it hurts like hell when she starts talking about how good her life is. It even hurts more to know that for my well being. I have to end it. I have to erase her from my memory. I know it's the only way, I know. Thanks for reading. 🙂

June 5, 2007
12:01 am
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making changes
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Hey Santino. If only we could erase people from our memories. My ex and I watched "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" together and loved it. If you haven't seen it, it's about erasing painful realtionship memories. Now after our breakup, I wish that were possible. I completely understand about wanting to end things on a good note. We had kind of a bitter breakup, then talked, very adult. I probably let him off the hook too easily as his sudden departure was very selfish, but if felt better to me. Kind of like, if you end it on bad terms, it takes the special times away, but if you walk away friendly, you can at least accept it more easily without being so bitter. My friends have told me to block his cell phone and his email but I can't do it. However, he is respecting the no contact rule (at least for now) as I told him I didn't want to hear from him. I think it's disrespectful of her to not respect your request not to hear from her. Seems like she wants the best of both worlds. I'm sorry that you don't have a way to contact her to express your feelings about no contact but maybe that's just contacting, if you know what I mean. Try not to be at the mercy of her next call (but I know how hard that can be, wondering when or if). However, if she does call again, I wouldn't hang up but make it very clear that it is better for you not to be in contact and it's not out of meanness or revenge, but that you're not ready for a "friendship". Let her know when you're ready, you'll get in touch with her and if she does call again, you won't be answering. Best of luck. I know how hard this is. Believe me.

June 5, 2007
1:39 pm
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santino
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Making changes:Thanks for the kind words. You hit it right on the head. I just hope she doesn't call anymore. 🙂

June 5, 2007
1:59 pm
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fantas
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Santino...Keep marching forward. It's okay to think and feel,just as long as you keep marching forward. It's progrss not perfection. I admire your courage:)

June 5, 2007
2:21 pm
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santino
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Thanks Fantas, your encouragement means alot! 🙂

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