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unlike before..
November 15, 2005
2:45 am
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SweetHoney
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hey guys, im always visiting at this site, hhmm.. somehow, i can relate on the "love" issues.. and i guess, its my time to share with you my heartaches.. pls. help!

after 10 mos. of courting, i fell in love with my bf(now!).. he's so sweet, caring.. everything,, he always find time to talk to me, and do sweet stuff that makes my heart melt.. but eventually, he became colder.. we are now 6mos.(boyfriend-girlfriend relationship).. he is so busy with his work, im not used to it.. you know, he is not like that before..

his attention was not with me anymore.. unlike before.. you know,, is that really normal?.. i need to get mad at him just to get his attention,, even though we are with each other on weekends, life gets boring.. i wanted this relationship last.. but i dont know if it would last..

by the way, we are married.. (secretly) bcoz people surrounds us is not on approve right now.. pls. help..

im jealous of everything,, i mean his time for his work and extra curricular.. pls. understand my feeling,, i feel like he is not happy with me now.. but he tells me he does! i dont know what to believe.. him or my feelin???

November 15, 2005
3:00 am
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Lass
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Hey Sweet Honey,

I am sorry that you feel like he is not happy with you, though he says he is...

If you would like my best advice, I would suggest pursuing your own life interests. This works for alot of reasons: It gets you involved with developing into an interesting person, someone growing and changing. The focus is taken off of him, and so is the pressure. And he may find he is more attracted to you than ever when you are confident and happy, and not demanding toward his time and attention! Even if he doesn't, you will have gotten your act together, which has all kinds of benefits.

There are lots of good past posts like this, too.

Lass

November 15, 2005
3:13 am
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mamacinnamon
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honey:

yes, it is normal for a couple to "let their hair down" once they get used to each other. Doesn't mean they don't love each other, just that they are more comfortable w/ each other. The "honeymoon" stage wears off and the every day mundane sets in.

A relationship takes 110% from each person each and every day. Not saying it's a big chore (well, to some it may be), but that it is a constant challenge to be kind, give, and sometimes take, bite your tongue, etc. etc. I'm sure you know what I mean. It is very important to have some alone time each week. Time to talk, touch, laugh.

IF you are feeling that there is more to his inattention than there is then you might need to watch things closer. I know if you are getting mad at him just to get his attention then that will wear on your relationship real quick. But, if he is telling you nothing is different then why are you not believing him? Maybe your own insecurity? Insecurity is one of the main things that will kill a relationship. Jealousy is even a bigger thing that will kill a relationship.

Life is not always a bowl of cherries. Not even half the time for most. Weekends will get boring; work will take precidence; then throw in the unexpected and things can go downhill quickly. that is the reason for the time alone each week.

If you are having all this extra time on your hands and things are getting blown out of proportion then find something to do yourself one or two times a week. Go out w/ the ladies to a movie, take a hobby class, do something that you like. If you are just hovering around the house the attractiveness will wear away really quickly and you will come across to him as needy. Most guys just don't fall for that.

If ya'll are keeping your marriage a secret then I think I'd be tellin. Secrets are not good and can also be a point of dissention.

Wishing you the best.

November 15, 2005
3:16 am
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Lass
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Such good, sound advice from Mama. Wish I could have talked this openly with my own Mom. It would have made a huge difference.

LL

November 15, 2005
4:14 am
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SweetHoney
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it so hard for me to feel this way.. you know, thanks guys for the advice..

i'm sick and tired of this set-up,, i mean,, i'm so tired of waiting for his time to be available for me.. and if that time comes,, i drop everything just to be with him,, and if im with him, i dont feel like he wants me to be with him..

^sigh^ .. we are in the same office, company i mean.. we work together.. and sometimes, he makes the reason "it's just work,nothing personal" .. err..

why is that loving too much is painful?.. is it wrong to love too much??

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