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Understanding feelings
April 1, 2011
5:40 am
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curious64
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Troubled - I'm and glad to know you found some comfort in my words.   Sometimes it doesn't feel like I have the right words or know how to help just via this computer, so I just try to talk from my heart.   You may not know this, but just you sharing how you feel can be a help to others who come here to read and may not even post.  

There is no need to feel pressured to share more about your diagnosis than you are comfortable with.  We will be here to support you either way.   If you don't feel a good connection with your therapist after a couple of more visits you may need to consider finding one that is a better fit for you.

I know what you mean about the past hurts and wanting validation for what happened to you.   I spent most of my life feeling like I was a huge mistake and feeling like nobody who knew me understood what my parents put me through.   It was sexual abuse or physical abuse, but it was constant mental and emotional abuse.   In the last year through reading some books and posting/reading here at AAC I discovered that the things they did to me were not because I was a bad person or an awful child, but it was because they were struggling in their marriage, my dad is very unaffectionate and pessimistic and my mom needs lots of affection and she was sick and/or in the hospital a lot.  When I realized that I could stop blaming myself for what had happened to me it really did help me.   They may never own up to how they mistreated me, others may never understand it, but I know now that I am okay and I don't have to live under the curse of what was done to me.  

I am not trying to belittle anything you have gone through, I simply want to encourage you that you do have the power within yourself to overcome the past and move on towards a bright future.    You are an awesome and unique creation and you deserve to have a happy life.  Each post you write, each therapy visit you attend, each action you take to control the behavior is getting you one step closer to the life you so richly deserve.   Don't ever doubt that you are worth it!!

 

HUGS!!!!

April 1, 2011
6:20 am
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Lanigirl
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Troubled,

You are definitely not clueless.  Your responses are very thoughtful.  I am not a therapist and I'm not here to cure you. You don't need to share whatever things have happened to you or your behavior.  However, as a person that has experienced abuse in my life, I know what a huge relief it was to hear that someone heard me and my pain was real.  So I am here to say that your feelings are real and I acknowledge the hurt/anger you feel from them.

Also, I was addicted to a person.  Although the source of our behaviors may be different, I want to applaud you for not engaging in whatever behavior for 30 days.  It is definitely difficult not to use the behavior to stifle the pain.  I have been "dry" for about a year now.  He did come by in November but I sent him away.  I just realized that I never took a moment to celebrate that so good job to both of us! 

April 1, 2011
8:11 am
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StronginHim77
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Dear Troubled -

You remind me very much of another poster who really touched my heart: Robbie.  Don't know if you have been around long enough on these threads to remember her, but your struggles remind me so much of hers.

I want to encourage you to trust your therapist and your doctor.  They are trained (and licensed) to guide you towards the path of genuine recovery.  Although I sense that "trust" is a serious issue for you, it is my hope that you will take a deep breath and GO FOR IT with both of them.  Give it your best.

Recovery is never easy.   But you ARE in the process.  NEVER QUIT.

- Ma Strong

April 1, 2011
9:22 am
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TroubledXYZ
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Hi StronginHIM77 - Thank you for posting to me today. I dont have a doctor,  just a therapist. The therapist is seeking the advice from this doctor F (in another state from the internet) because she has no experience with my particular disorder and he does. He coined the disorder (I believe in 1998) and has written books on it. So I guess hes an expert.

She also told me she has no experience with addiction. How does one be a licensed Mental Health Counselor for 20 years and not have any experience with addiction? Although trained and licensed, and a fine therapist, she may not be the right therapist for me. But I havent seen her long enough to make a final determination about that yet. I wont give up but I may need to find someone else.

I have not been here that long and dont know very many people yet. I hope that in time I will get to know more posters and especially anyone who has similar struggles. Trust issues has not been something I have thought about very much. Ive been really caught up in my anger issues. Do you think they are tied together? I will have to start thinking about trust.

 

Lanigirl - Im sorry that you suffered from abuse in your life. thanks for acknowleding my feelings from my past hurts. Congratulations on a whole year of being "dry". I'm sure it wasnt easy. Give yourself a lot of credit for that. I struggle each and every day right now not to make the wrong choice. I certainly hope I will make a whole year too!

 

Curious - Once again your words bring me comfort and touch my heart. I am sorry you suffered abuse as well. It sounds like you have worked hard to overcome the pain it created and to have a survivor attitude. Right now I'm stuck in victim mode and I dont know why. THAT was really hard for me to admit here. something I need to think more about. 

 

Thanks again for posting to me. Have yourselves a nice weekend

Troubled

April 1, 2011
11:34 am
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curious64
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Troubled - I'm glad to hear from you.   Also, I am glad there are some others commenting here to help support and encourage you.   It helps to know we are not alone.   Congratulations on continuing to make right decisions about your addiction.   You should be proud of your success.

I don't know your therapist, but I do know that just as doctors have specialties, so therapists.   Yours may have a lot of experience in other areas and still not have workerd with addiction issues.  Don't invest too much time and money if you feel she is the wrong therapist.   Mabe you could call around and look for some that specialize in addiction issues.   That is a decision only you can make, but I just thought I would share my opinion for what it is worth.

You know, I hadn't really thought about it in the terms you used, but I like that, "survivor attitude".   That is a very new concept for me.  I spent 45 years as a victim.   My sister used to get angry with me and say, "when are you going to stop playing the victim?"   I would get so mad at her.  She just didn't understand what I had been through.   Well, actually, she did, she grew up in the same house with the same parents.   She just didn't internalize their treatment the way I did or my brother did.  I can tell you, that when I shook off that victim label I felt like a new person.   There was something so freeing in letting go of all that baggage.   Don't get me wrong, i still have struggles, still have days where I am down, but the weight off all that stuff is gone and that is an awesome feeling.

You hang in there and keep working minute by minute day by day and before you know it you will wake up and say, "wow, I am no longer a victim, I am a survivor".     Sending you a big warm hug and lots of encouragement.   You have an awesome evening.  :0)

April 4, 2011
7:20 am
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TroubledXYZ
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Had a bad weekend but thats for another time......

 

Something has really been bothering me! I had a therapist before the one I see now but she moved and I stopped counseling for awhile after that. I miss her and her style of counseling a lot but she is too far away to see anymore.

I got this new therapist by way of a friends friend. A friend of mine, M is friends with someone K who is a friend of my therapist B. Does that make sense? Well, Friday I was at my friends house where I met K - the lady who is friends with my therapist B. Thats when I realized K works in the same office as B. And B said that she might consult other therapists sometimes. It felt really weird knowing B may have told K something about me and here I was socializing with her.

I guess that is something I could get over, but after K left, my friend told me something that maybe she shouldnt had.

She didnt want to tell me in front of K. Apparently my therapists best friend was in a head on collision and has severe injuries and could die, and my therapist is not doing very well. I am supposed to see my therapist tomorrow. I feel really bad for B. Knowing what she is going through, I feel like my issues are minor in comparison. It must be really hard to try and help people with their emotional problems when you have such high emotional issues going on yourself. I feel like I cant go in and freely talk to her right now. Anything I say will seem petty. I feel like I will be burdoning her and yet I cant tell her that I know her best friend might die. I really wish my friend and her friend K had kept that information confidential.

what should I do. What should I say. How should I act. ....

April 4, 2011
7:43 am
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curious64
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Okay, I hope I followed this okay.   There are regulations that govern the privacy of your information.   B should not discuss you with K unless K has some involvement in your care, or unless you have signed a release of information form giving her permission to discuss it.   That being said, she  may discuss your symptoms, diagnosis etc if she does not use your name or any identifying information. 

As for your therapist having emotional issues to deal with I see it like this, if she feels able to come to work while going through this ordeal, she should be able to perform her job.   You should not feel guilty and bad about sharing the information that you are paying to be able to come there and share. 

At the next visit you might want to clarify with her who she is going to discuss your information with and if she will be using your name or just clinical information.  Tell her you are friends with K and feel a little awkward about things.   The more you communicate to her, the better able to help you she will be. 

Sorry to hear that you had a bad weekend.  Hope you are feeling better this morning.  ((((HUGS))))Smile

April 6, 2011
5:04 am
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TroubledXYZ
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Thanks for the advice Curious. My therapist seemed ok last night. I thought it would be awkward but it wasnt.

as for myself - i am feeling devestated today. so the rest of this post is just me venting. really just me talking to myself. trying to get it out because I feel like with so many emotions spinning inside me im going to implode.

I havent been doing well again. I feel like I'm almost back to where I was in January when I met my therapist! I am in a lot of emotional pain. I dont think anyone understands. that frustrates me.

I woke up shaking with anxiety again yesterday and anger and resentment that I have to live. I told her I resented that I cant kill myself. it scares me so no one will have to worry that i'll actually do it. what concerns and frustrates me is that I feel bad enough to want to.

I feel all jumbled up inside. I feel like theres a wall between me and happiness. Like im in some house of mirrors trying to find my way and everyone is on the outside laughing at my struggles and then when I finally find the right path i smack into a brick wall.

why do i feel a constant emotional irregulation!?

So she asks me if I have ever heard of a certain kind of behavioral therapy. I say no and she tells me to look it up and let her know if I want to try it. I look it up and everything that comes up about it has a certain disorder attached to it. A disorder I am familiar with. She did not say I have this disorder. But my previous therapist said I had features of it. And a psychiatrist many many many moons ago said I have it. i didnt want to believe it. I'm devestated! This type of behavioral therapy was created for this specific disorder.

How can she ask me to look something up knowing I would be alone when the news hit me. I still have to confirm it but I have a strong feeling she will say I have this disorder. I already have a "disorder" and now this too!

Thank God I emailed her and asked to see her next week instead of 2 weeks. I dont think I could wait that long to discuss it.

I am feeling so distraught. not just because of that. but just because. I tried to explain to her last night that I will be doing ok for a little bit and then for no apparent reason I become filled with anxiety and anger and rage and deep sadness. I feel shattered inside my heart. I dont know why.

we never even talked about the distraction stuff. 50 minutes came and went so quickly. it felt like we came to an abrupt stop and she said we couldnt go over this time because she had someone after me.

I called my mom this morning to tell her about this possible diagnosis. She knows that other therapists have said I have this and that I feel devestated about it. Her reaction was sorry, I dont know what to say. what do you want me to say? I want her to act like she freakin cares! That she understands that such news hurts. I'm not asking for anything profound. Just a heartfelt I'm sorry would do.

lots of anger and sadness today. raging inside.

feeling emotionally fragile. feeling emotionally vulnerable. feeling lost. alone in this battle I seem to fight each day.

i'm realizing that my way of thinking and feeling is skewed. I see it all over this post. Atleast thats a step.

i'm scared about this new Behavior Therapy she wants to try. hopefully it will help change my skewed senses.

I hate being me. Life is emotionally too hard for me. I cant take it anymore!

I hate waking up. I want to sleep. I want to dream.

Thanks for reading if you got this far ~meYell

April 6, 2011
5:29 am
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curious64
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Troubed (((((((((HUGS)))))))   My heart is breaking for you.   The pain in your post is almost palpable.   I feel so inadequate to try and comfort you. 

This possible diagnosis may sound awful to you, but try to focus on the positive....there is a treatment for it.  You know, two years ago I went to the doctor with knee pain.  The diagnosis ended up being degenerative arthritis.  When I heard this is devestated me.   It sounded so awful.   We began a treatment protocol and once I began focusing on the treatment and not the diagnosis, it seemed to improve my attitude.  Maybe that could work for you too.  Don't focus on the name of the diagnosis, just try focussing on the treatment. 

Have you ever considered calling an ER and asking for admission to an inpatient facility when these feelings become so overwhelming?  Sometimes that intense daily treatment can be very beneficial. 

I wish there was something I could say that would comfort you and help you, but I just feel a little bit helpless.  I'm sorry that your mom did not give you response that you had hoped for.  So many times in our lives our loved ones let us down and fail to meet our expectations.  She may just not know what the best thing is to say to help you.  She is probably afraid for you and doesn't want to say the wrong thing. 

Keep reaching out, keep posting, keep seeing your therapist.   Try to focus on what you need to do to get well instead of the name of the diagnosis.  You are a fighter, I can see that by the fact you are taking the time to post here and to seek therapy.   I believe in you and I know that you can do this.  Just give the treatment a chance to work. 

((((((TROUBLED))))))

April 6, 2011
12:56 pm
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TroubledXYZ
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Thank you for responding to my ramblings. You should not feel helpless or inadequate. Each time you post to me I have found something that helps me in some way. Just taking the time to say anything at all is appreciated so much. You have helped me find something positive about this - and that is - there is a treatment. I remember feeling so hopeless when I got the other diagnosis because there was no treatment for it. so atleast this one does. My therapist emailed me the name of a workbook she is getting for us to use. I am feeling a bit more hopeful but still somewhat scared.

Today while researching the disorder I found this which will help me to explain to others how I experience my world.

(xxx behavior therapy) maintains that some people, due to invalidating environments during upbringing and due to biological factors as yet unknown, react abnormally to emotional stimulation. Their level of arousal goes up much more quickly, peaks at a higher level, and takes more time to return to baseline. This explains why people with xxx disorder are known for crisis-strewn lives and extreme emotional lability (emotions that shift rapidly). Because of their past invalidation, people with xxx disorder don't have any methods for coping with these sudden, intense surges of emotion. (xxx behavior therapy) is a method for teaching skills that will help in this task.

This is how I experience life. Everything is highly emotional and I dont know how to cope. I feel like my emotions never even get back to baseline. they are always hovering just a little above. always a little elevated. Unfortunately, my crisis' are always inward. Like I said this morning I felt like I was going to implode. Thats because I dont explode. its all internalized. Reading the above paragraph I feel like someone out there understands. Atleast one person knows there is a tidal wave of emotion.

when I have more time I will tell you the different skills I will be learning with this behavior therapy.

I signed up for an art class. 2 sessions and it starts tonight. This will be good for me. I'm looking forward to it!

thanks for being here for me Curious. Your posts help more than you know!

April 7, 2011
4:42 am
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TroubledXYZ
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its like having brittle bone disease of the emotions. one small infraction and you feel shattered. you dont want to feel that way - it just happens. and then because no one thinks its a very big deal, that invalidates your very real feelings which makes it even worse.

not sure why i feel the worst first thing in the mornings. maybe because im disappointed to have to start another day. writing helps tho. not just writing here but pen to paper. the good ole fashioned journaling. i think even the physical movement of forming the words does something.

i'm tired today. i was encouraged to be involved in things and now i am but getting worn out. ive been out every night this week so far. I need to rest. even lonely people need some down time.

i'm feeling a little bit better today.

i am thankful the sun is out. still a bit cold here. but its not snowing!

April 7, 2011
7:23 am
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Troubled - Thank you for sharing that information with me regarding the symptoms of the new diagnosis.  I was excited to hear you say that you could see that at least knowing there was treatment for this was a good thing.   You are making the effort to see the positive i the situation and that is great.  

I think the art class sounds awesome.  That should be a creative way to release some of that emotional energy that you feel.   Also, some good odl fashioned exercise could help burn off some of that energy.  It is so good to hear that you are taking positive steps towards your recovery.  I knew you had it in you to fight this diagnosis.   You are going to be successful in overcoming this and managing your feelings.   I just feel it.

So glad you are feeling a little better today.   Nice comment about the sun shining today. That is certainly progress when you are able to find at least one thing each day to be thankful for. 

I can imagine how stressful it must be to have your emotions on such a roller coaster all of the time, but you are learning new techniques to control that.  You are taking back power over your body and your emotions.   Good for you!!

Morning is my worst time of day, I am not a morning person.   Since you know that is your worst time as well, you can develop strategies help combat that in the morning.   You seem like a very motivated person and I really think you are going to make it through this and then be able to be a help and an example for others suffering similar problems.  

Busy day at work, but I wanted to stop in and tell you I am proud of you.  Keep up the good work!!

 

((((HUGS)))) Laugh

April 8, 2011
5:33 am
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TroubledXYZ
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I felt so encouraged and hopeful and positive after reading your post yesterday! I went on to have a fairly good day. every so often throught the day my anxiety levels would go up. I so hate that feeling. Having mild anxiety this morning but I think its going to be another good day. I'm still feeling positive.

Ive been encouraged to do some volunteer work so that I get more social interaction. The idea scared the hell out of me at first. I even felt angry which I thought was a strange reaction to such an idea. But I tried to stay open-minded and I slowly warmed up to the idea. recently i emailed the local library to see if I could volunteer but they said they werent taking volunteers at this time. I thought just the fact I reached out was a step where I had been so cold to the idea at first. I also emailed a local vet to see if they needed help but never heard back.

yesterday, after feeling so encouraged and positive, I decided to give it another try. This time, really hoping it would work out. I emailed a cat shelter. I had adopted a cat from them many years ago and I love animals and thought it would be good. I got a msg saying all the volunteer spots had been filled. I was disappointed. But handled the disappointment well.

another busy weekend coming up. I hope it will be warm enough to start cleaning out my garage. Every spring I find more junk to get rid of. Funny how the previous spring I just couldnt let go and then for some reason I see no reason to keep it.

Another birthday celebration to go to on Sunday. My 2 neices birthdays.

Hoping I can keep up this positive outlook throughout the weekend.

The sun is shining brightly again today. I am thankful for that!

April 8, 2011
10:48 am
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Troubled - I am so proud of you!!!!   What great strides you are making.   It touches that you feel I have anything to do with helping you have a better day.  So happy to hear you are looking into volunteering some place.   I guess it is a good thing to hear that the places have plenty of volunteers, but keep looking. I'm sure you can find some place to go.   You could simply visit some elderly folks at a retirement home.   Many of them go days and days with no visitor.   Do you have a Goodwill store or Salvation Army?   They can also use help from time-to-time.   I am hopeful that you will find a place that is a perfect fit for you.

Sounds like you are going to have a really good weekend.  Another birthday and a Spring cleaning treasure hunt, lol.   Sounds like  you will be plenty busy.   Let me say again how awesome it is to hear the effort you are putting forth to help yourself.   One day before you know it you are going to look back and think "look how far I have come".   When you get through to the other side of this you are going to be able to help so many people who are going through similar things. 

You keep up the good work.   Eat a piece of cake for me.   

Have a great evening.

Smile

April 12, 2011
6:47 am
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Just stopping by to say hello.  I hope you are doing okay.   Stop in when you have chance. 

(((((HUGS)))))Smile

April 12, 2011
3:50 pm
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Dont know if anyone will check in tonight. I just got home from therapy and emotions are strong and raw.

 

Tonight in therapy I told something I didnt want to. But I felt like it was an important piece for B to know. It took almost all session to get it out and then when it did it didnt leave much time to calm down before I left.

 

I was so worried that my therapist would think I'm a horrible person for something I did nearly 30 years ago. I was afraid that it would reflect on who I am today. She said she doesnt think bad about me. Its hard to believe. I guess maybe because I think I'm horrible. She said the shame was a good thing. It means I am regretful.

 

tears are streaming down my face. I am not a bad person. I have to try and believe that.

 

i'm catching a cold and just took a dose of cold medicine. the kind thats supposed to make you sleepy. I need it to make me sleepy. I need to shut these feelings out. I dont want to feel them right now.

 

ok. im ok. calming down. she said its ok to feel the feelings but not let them overtake you.

 

i'm not going to let them overtake me.

 

Cry

April 13, 2011
10:01 am
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Troubled - Sorry for the delay getting back to you.  Was dealing with some issues yesterday and this morning. 

I want you to know that your therapist is a trained professional and would not hold anything against you.  She is there to help you and to be the best help she needs to know the truth.  If she would act as if she is holding any of it against you I would say you need a new therapist.  Sounds like  you are on the brink of a major break through.  She is right that it is good you are feeling remorse for past actions.  My ex suffers from borderline personality disorder and it is very difficult for him to feel badly for anything he does or has done.  He always feels like everything is the fault of others and does not own his problems.

You are taking the steps necessary to find recovery for yourself and that is huge!!  You should be very proud of yourself.  Deal with the past issues and then forgive yourself.  You are working on becoming the person you want to be and that person from the past is dead and buried. 

Wish I had been on last night. I'm sorry you are hurting so much and nobody was on to share with.  I will try to check back later this evening to see how you are doing.

 

HUGS!!!!!!!  Smile

April 14, 2011
5:14 am
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TroubledXYZ
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Hi Curious

 

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. You have a way of easing my emotions by putting things in perspective. I always forget to see beyond the emotion to the logic. I get wrapped up in what I'm feeling and sometimes swallowed up by it. Thank you for your insight.

 

I am feeling out of sorts today. I think its the cold I have or the cold medicine I'm taking for it. I'm tired and feel disconnected from my surroundings.

 

I've been trying to write but having a hard time gathering my thoughts today. I think I'll head over to the coffee house and rest.

April 14, 2011
5:52 am
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Troubled - Sorry that you have a cold.  Those can be a real pain and can linger on.  I pray yours will ease quickly.  Cold medicine can effect your thinking and emotions.   I get easily aggitated when I take certain ones.

Haven't been on as much lately due to getting some work done at home and being very busy here at work.   Don't want you to ever feel like I have abandoned you, just sometimes I get caught up and don't have time to get one as regularly. 

Hope that your cold eases up soon and that you feel refreshed and ready to battle on through this recovery process. 

Do something nice for yourself today, even something as simple as a long, hot buble bath.

Well wishes and hugs!!!

 

Curious

April 18, 2011
4:33 am
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TroubledXYZ
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well I stayed in bed all day yesterday. I have been feeling sick with this stupid cold and it was the first chance I could just rest. I did NOT want to get up this morning. Ugh. I rarely get sick and when I do I'm a big baby.

 

I'm feeling a bit down today. I dont really know why. I never know "why". That was one thing I noticed in my Behavior Therapy workbook – the examples they give all have to do with an event or situation that the person finds themselves in, or something that happens with another person that creates these overwhelming feelings. For me, those people and situations seem to be absent. I just have these overwhelming feelings with nothing really attached to them. Thats what frustrates me. So as I'm constantly trying to find the "whys" of things, my therapist is telling me it doesnt matter why. Then she gets frustrated with me and I get frustrated with her because I feel like its important to know.

 

However, I have been feeling what I will call "micro changes" in me lately. Very slight changes in my thinking – thoughts process and emotions (for the better). Not all of the time, but more often. I havent really done the Behavior Therapy yet – just started skimming the pages, but it seems to have made a little impact. Or maybe its just that I have a therapist to talk to again. Or maybe because its spring. Who knows….something is "different" in me. Something is changing and I hope it continues to grow to be more significant and more often.

April 18, 2011
6:37 pm
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Troubled -  I hope you are feeling better.   I'm sure you have seen some of the childish and mean things that have been said about me here and I hope you will overlook that stuff and just continue to post and to share.  I am here to support and encourage anyone who is in need of it.  I am trying so hard to take the high road and press on. 

I think it is really awesome that you are stopping by the coffeehouse.  It is such a calm place to rest and relax. 

You said something about "micro" changes.  That is great!!!  Even micro changes are steps in the right direction.  I am so happy for you.

Will post more tomorrow.   Have a great evening.

April 19, 2011
7:06 am
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TroubledXYZ
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What's the point? Why pull up threads and type "yep"?

Curious - yes I've been seeing what's been going on on this website. I didn't want to get involved but I'm starting to get pissed. I dont understand why you are being targetted and how people can be so cruel. It makes me angry by the immaturity of it all. I don't understand what the point of it all is. Or why it's allowed to happen. Is it to run people off the site? I really need the support. I find it a great supplement to my therapy since I can't go to therapy everyday or even every week. This is non-sense. Stupid. I'm pissed and it doesn't even involve me. I'm sorry for the cruelty you are experiencing here. You know whoever it is does not think highly of themselves or they wouldn't have to be so mean and cruel to others in order to make themselves feel better. Stay strong Curious. Many people here appreicate and respect and cherish the time and kindness you offer here.  

April 19, 2011
7:32 am
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curious64
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Troubled - Thank you for your kind words.  I have tried to stay above all of this.  it actually goes way back before my time here and I really don't want to know all of the history of it.  Not sure why I was targeted, but it is okay.  If they get their kicks bashing people for fun then better me than someone else.   I can take it.  I spent 25 years in an abusive relationship so this little gnat isn't bothering me.   I have to admit there was a little part of me today that thought I might engage in a playful game with Emily Rose, but I really am too busy in my real life and don't have the time to participate in this game with her.  

Try to just tune out that garbage and focus on your own recovery.  You are making progress and I am so happy about that.  I will not allow these people to run me out of here.  I will be here for you and will continue to post with you.  I just apologize that this individual may follow me onto your thread.   I don't have anyway to prevent that.

Just keep up the great work.   One step at a time you are going to get to your goal.   I'm here with you and we can help each other along the way.

((((HUGS))))Smile

April 19, 2011
2:24 pm
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StronginHim77
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Curious =

Thank you for hanging in there to help Troubled (and others).  Takes guts to keep going when (literally) all hell is breaking loose, trying to distract you from our purpose for being here.

- Ma Strong

April 19, 2011
6:53 pm
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hilda
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Hi friends, I'm still confussed about this new formant.  I wrote last week, and can't find my post nor any responses.  I hope all is note lost.  I'll keep looking, Hilda

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