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Umable to cope and very lonely
July 22, 2000
3:43 pm
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lucky
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September 27, 2010
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I dont know where to begin, well here gose.
I am a mother of 2 boys and I am on very fragile grounds. I fell like i have let my kids and my self down and I hurt, you see I up and left my husband of three years yes there were reasons like he was physical and an addict, but I loved him and I just want to go back. I keep telling myself that things will change and it will be ok. All I can think about is the fact that my kids love him like a father and i dont want to hurt them they ask me where their daddy is and I cant say anything because I dont know what to say . and to top it off went to court and they threw it out of court . I guess I am to the point that I want to go back out and use I want to get away from the pain and just be free for a minute I just cant take it any more and when i first got on the net i gave advise trying to cover up what i felt and i was wrong so i am asking for someone to please help me so that i keep my clean time thank you so much for llistening bye

July 24, 2000
8:31 am
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Spirit
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September 29, 2010
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Lucky: Reach out to a help group in your area. Please do not destroy what you have been able to rebuild for yourself. You life is too precious to give in to the "need" to hide from the pain. As you know, the pain will still be there when "it" wears off. Make that call, now.

July 24, 2000
11:26 am
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lucky
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spirit
i thought that i was in this alone because no one replyed and i felt like it didnt matter so i realy gave up cause i sant take the pain i want to just end it all and i realy cant take it when i moved i left every thing and now i have no one to talk i know no one and it realy is beging to show things are realy getting worse with my kids and all i want to do any more is just hide and cry i hurt so bad this is worse than what i have ever been through and i need help please if someone can, please help thank you for your advice i realy appreciate it bye
lucky

July 24, 2000
3:16 pm
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sad and stuck
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September 27, 2010
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Lucky, I'm so sorry to hear you are not doing well, here you inspired me with your prayers and good wishes, what a good person you are, suffering yourself and taking the time to help someone else, don't be so hard on yourself, you sound so kind and sensitve to me. Please don't give up, I can't imagine how you feel, but I think you did the right thing by leaving, take it one day at a time and I'm sure things will be better, take it a minute at a time if you have to... I'm praying for you and hoping for the best. Keep in touch.
Sad....

July 24, 2000
4:09 pm
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Frieda
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September 30, 2010
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Lucky, I don't know what to say that would be helpful to you, but I wanted you to know that I read your post, and I know you are hurting. I am proud of you for not giving up. I will be here cheering for you! Your kids are going to be OK. They just need you to NOT QUIT! Hang on! You can do it. I believe in you.

--Frieda

July 25, 2000
8:26 pm
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dumbo
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September 30, 2010
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you need to know that there is some one who does love you and does care what happens.know thatno matter what you will always have the love of your boys and the love of your higher power whom is always with you/ You are really never alone

July 26, 2000
1:20 pm
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lucky
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September 27, 2010
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thank you everyone for all of the help i realy need it and i know i still do. I realy dont think things can get any worse I wawnt so much for my boys and i cant get over the fact that I have let them down. when I took off I didnt think of them. I mean I did in a way but as far as them just livting thenm and moving away from everything they know all of the people they know. But now its getting to a point where I am getting prank phone calls and it bothers me to a point where i cant stand it. I am staying at my mothers and I dont want to over load her because I love her with all my heart and i know at times she getts frustrated and its my fault I realy dont know what to do i have come to terms that i dont want to go back but I dont know where to go from here. I want to talk but I dont want to over load her so I rely on the help from you thank you again all of you for your help

sincerly, lucky

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