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Two Husbands, One Wife...That's where I am going with this family
September 11, 2009
4:23 am
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Worried_Dad
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Yep, I am really seriously considering proposing a tripartite marriage.

Two Men. One Woman.

Until death do us part.

I think it could work.

What do you think?

September 11, 2009
7:23 am
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It No Longer Matters
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I think you are out of your mind! Why would you want to take leftovers from the woman you "love"? Is she really worth this?

Do whatever floats your boat.

Bitsy

September 11, 2009
7:40 am
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bonni
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There are three parties in my marriage: My husband, the military and me. The military comes first. I get the leftovers and the bag of responsibility for everything.

I don't recommend it unless you also care for the third party. Some women are proud and happy to serve their country by being the wife of a soldier. It makes me bitter and angry to know that I will never be good enough to deserve this man's full time love, even though he PROMISED to forsake all others and keep only unto me in a church with witnesses.

So, I'm guessing that eventually, you would resent watching the person you love choose someone else, abandon you for the other guy, expect you to wash his laundry and be happy for the scraps she throws you.

I'm not. But its too late for me. Its your mistake to make and I can't promise you that you will be as angry and hurt as I am, only tell you that I am truly sorry that I didn't realize the path I was taking.

bonni

September 11, 2009
7:57 am
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It No Longer Matters
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{{{{{Bonni}}}}} Your post makes me glad I didn't marry the Midshipman

Bitsy

September 11, 2009
8:32 am
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caraway
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WD,

Are you serious? I have heard about this many times with two or three women and one man, but not this way. Would you live in separate households?

Cary

September 11, 2009
11:49 am
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sdesigns
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WD: Maybe it would "work" but it would more than likely be filled with lots of drama and pain.

Its hard enough w/ 2 people , let alone 3.

I dated a guy who was/ is married to a lesbian, and wants to stay married to her but have an extended relationship. I did lots of reading on Mixed Orientation marriages and how they often tried to include a 3rd party and have an open marriage- lots of problems. Often the 3rd person lived with them. I decided I wanted no part of it- I want my own relationship and I want to be number one- not the one who gets the leftovers.

WD, in your heart of hearts, when you picture happiness for yourself- is this what you come up with?

sd

September 11, 2009
12:32 pm
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atalose
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No, in my opinion it won’t work especially for a codependent.

Not sure of your circumstances worried_dad but if your wife is or has been cheating on you and YOU feel that the answer to preventing your own pain is to invite this person into YOUR relationship rather then end it, then no I feel is just won’t work and you’ll end up with more pain then you could imagine.

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

September 11, 2009
12:39 pm
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fantas
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September 29, 2010
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WD,
Elaborate further. The whys, how, whys?, who, whys,whens, whys? :). Statistically, there are more women than men so it might be easier for you to have two wives, although I'm not sure why you would want that much drama in your lives. Better yet, you can marry a woman every couple of years. This is also called dating:). I haven't heard of two straight men married to one woman but I have heard of two gay guys and one girl. Needless to say the girl felt shafted. So yes, more information please...I'm having a hard time believing you are serious 🙂

September 11, 2009
1:11 pm
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_anonymous
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If you decide to try it. Then you will find out. Let us know.

September 11, 2009
1:22 pm
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It No Longer Matters
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So basically you are so desperate to have this woman in your life that you are willing to marry her and let her continue dating? What happens when she tires of him? and the next? and the next?

Bitsy

September 11, 2009
5:35 pm
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Martin Eden
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Hey Man,

As one who is just starting to work on codependency and in the midst of a divorce I gotta ask: what in the world are you thinkin'?

On my worst codee moment I could not even imagine doing that especially if there are childen involved. That would put DYSaster in front of function!

Get some counseling brother! In my world I have an addict wife living with her boyfriend and could not fathom such a scenario. Unless you have orientation issues, which is cool if your into that; but that subject probably belongs in another column.

I may come off a little harsh here but seriously take care of your self. Any woman or anyone for that matter that can not be committed in a healthy relationship is not worth being with. Don't cheapen your own being and compromise your sense of self just to fill a need.

Remeber the ship can only have one Captain. Good luck!!!

September 12, 2009
11:14 am
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marypoppins
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Wow. Well, polygamy is more common worldwide than monogamy.

What does this woman have? Beauty? Youth? If I could set this up, I might try it. But only after my daughter is grown and out of the house.

My Muslim students tell me that if they have more than one wife, according to the Koran, all has to be equal. One wife gets a pen, the other gets a pen, etc. How would you work this out? I suggest you establish very clear boundaries.

I'm not being sarcastic here, by the way. People can make all kinds of things work. Do you think this is the healthiest choice for you? I personally have a history of settling for abuse in different forms and varying degrees.

Mary

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