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trying hard...
September 15, 2005
1:52 pm
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painfullyinlove
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September 24, 2010
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i am once again in the dumps... i don't know why i am doing this myself. i tried reading the books and i tried to get my mind of thinking of him but i failed. i called him and i asked if i could spend time with him. i think i have a serious problem because i constantly think about him and i constantly am thinking abt what's going to happen when he leaves me. i am completely stressed out now cos i am already halfway through my grad program but i haven't had a single idea put down for my thesis yet. this wasn't how it suppose to be when i first got here (am from singapore). the horrible thing is i am more worried about losing him then i am about flunking the program and disappointing my parents back home. i got a advice from my cousin who was dumped after a seven year relationship and now on Lexapro that i need to be on that medication too. should i, will that help me? i've been reading the threads posted and understand that some of you are therapists and counsellors, so pls, pls help me...

September 15, 2005
2:12 pm
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taj64
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Im on lexipro about a month now plus trazedone for anxiety and to help me sleep. Amazing this has helped me from the beginning. Please concentrate on your program. I think you will regret it in the long run if you fail this. You will disappoint yourself. I can remember back in college, I had been dating a guy and thought I was in love and again, pattern with me to pick unavailable men, during finals week, he was walking around on campus on the arms of someone else. I was wondering why he wasn't calling me. So I ended up feeling crushed and didn't pass my exam, basically didn't finish. I regret that. He was not worth it. Anyway, I know it hurts right now. If things are overwhelming then being on something might help but only your doctor can work with you to figure this out. Describe your feelings, etc. Since you know he is leaving you, that is causing you most of the distress. It is not anything your can avoid or have control over. You're going to have to just deal with the pain as best as you can right now and take care of your physical needs. It is ok what you feel right now. It is going to be ok but give it time. A loss of love is one of the hardest things to go through, but you heal, and only time helps it.

September 15, 2005
2:17 pm
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painfullyinlove
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i know. i put in a lot effort when i first got into the program, that was before i knew him. now i have days where i contemplte skipping classes just so i can spend time with him. i feel like crying now even as i am writing this, cos i feel so lost. i have no family here and hardly any friends. i can't call out for help back home in singapore cos they are anxiously awaiting my good news (graduation, masters, etc.) i feel so alone, and it seems the only time my mind is not filled with frantic thoughts are times when i have him with me... i really, really don't know what to do anymore.

September 15, 2005
2:26 pm
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taj64
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No no no. think of yourself right now. This class is for you. Have you read the book on codependency by Melody Beattie. I know this is hard but you've got to think of your future here. Right now it is painful. But you won't be feeling this way forever. But you may not get the chance to make up this program. You have got to find that strength in you. the courage to distance yourself from this. Get out the book, figure out time where you can concentrate and then pick a time when you can bawl your eyes out. Easier said than done i know. I doubt this guy is cutting his life off for you so don't you do the same. there are going to be plenty times of head for someone who is better for you. Don't listen to any sad songs either or love stories. Just stick to your studies and you will be proud that you did this.

September 15, 2005
2:32 pm
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painfullyinlove
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thank you so much... i will try... i want to make my studies work and i honestly can't bear any sad love songs or stories at the moent... i feel so emoty that i can't even cry even though i feel like it. i really hope i can get through, i really hope i can. thank you, taj64. it helps having someone knowing what i am going through, it really does. you have no idea how much.

September 15, 2005
3:29 pm
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columbia
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Your college probably has a counselour on staff that the students can see when they need to. Don't hesitate to use the student health program if they have one. Medication could be helpful it is for many people. I agree . only uplifting music and entertainment.Please keep us informed. You sound like a smart cookie. Hang in there . Don't be afraid to ask for help.

September 15, 2005
4:17 pm
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painfullyinlove
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onec again, thanks... i am feeling much better than i felt this morning. i wake almost daily having this sick feeling... but when i get caught of woth owrk or when i am reading the threads of discusiions on this forum, i forget... when i get back home, it starts all over again and then i end up calling him and asking for his company... but i will try to stop, i need to do that for myself.

September 15, 2005
4:24 pm
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CAMER
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keep trying your best to relax and breathe deeply...you will be ok...just try to take the focus off of him for a bit...take a bath, read a good book, do anything...and if you feel like calling him....don't...let some time pass by to do what you need to do for your life, he should be only a part of your life, not your whole life.

Keep coming back and posting..we are here for you.

(((((((camer))))))))))))))

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