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Trusting Myself
October 29, 2006
9:46 am
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moving0n
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How do I learn to trust myself? I'm going through a divorce. I thought my STBX was a healthy individual, he's not. I feel stupid for choosing to ignore the signs.

I know that I am the classic case of being attracted to the sickest man in the room. I also know that right now, being alone is better for me, but some day i'd like to be in a relationship again, how can I learn to trust myself to make a better decision?

October 29, 2006
10:37 am
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road less traveled
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Moving On,

First of all, you must forgive yourself for your failures, in this case, your bad choice in picking a mate. Bad choices do not make you a bad or untrustworthy person. Bad choices are just what they are, BAD CHOICES. You can learn to trust yourself again, but you must do the work, and walk the path of self awareness, learn who you are, make the needed changes to create a person you can love and trust, yourself. Learn to treat yourself with love, doing no further harm to yourself. No more bad choices starting TODAY.

You must make a pact with yourself that you will begin to live your life with your eyes wide open. No more fantasy, no more denial.

Get help, we all need it.

I recommend a co-dependant therapist.
Find a good one, it's worth it.

Happy travels,

RLT

October 29, 2006
2:39 pm
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Perhaps trusting yourself begins with saying what you mean and meaning what you say. Setting little goals for yourself and following through, and not allowing anyone to talk you into something you don't want to do. Being strong and responsible for the outcomes of your life. Sometimes trust might be about striving for the highest good, and win/win relationships.

Also for me, trust is on a dimmer switch ... not an on/off switch. I can dial it up or down given the situation and listen to my inner voice.

October 30, 2006
4:18 pm
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raisinette
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I really appreciate what Little spirit said. I was having a hard time with the "trusting self" issue and it was put in a way I understood. Thank you! It is an issue that is at the top of my "to do" list and I need all the help I can get!

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