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trouble with sex
August 1, 2001
2:40 am
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gypsygirl
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Ok So this is the first time for me yo admit this. I used to have one night stands about three years ago. I always felt really terrible afterwards, but before it was like some kind of power trip that I was on. I keep it under control for three years while I was in a relationship. And for the past 6 months I have not wanted it at all. I would just do it to please my boyfriend (ex-boufriend)Any way my problem is that since I left my boyfriend in march I have had sex with 4 people and instantly regreted it awterwards. I guess I do it because that is the only way for my to express myself. I liked these people enough to think that I was going to have a relationship with them. but I promptly dumped them. They wished to see me again but I refused. My ex started seeing someone else and he became attractive to me again, so i started having sex with him, but once he started telling my that he thought we would get back together someday. I pushed him away again. I guess my problem is that I am afraid for anyone to get to know the real me. I am afraid that they will leave me. I am afraid to get close emotionally to anyone. PLEASE HELP ME!

August 1, 2001
8:36 am
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Lydia
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September 30, 2010
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The real you is expressed by your character..your thoughts, emotions, values etc. Having sex with someone before you've established a relationship isn't healthy. Equally important as your self-esteem, is your physical health. Are you concerned with STD's??

Give some thought as to what it is you are trying to express when you're having sex. Wouldn't you prefer to capture someone with your personality vs. your body?

It sounds like you have a fear of rejection so you want to have the upper hand by dumping them first. Think back in your life about what happened to create insecurity in you.

I encourage you to get tested for STD's, perhaps a clinic. Also, it would serve you well to stop having sex, which without emotion, devalues you. Take some time to focus on who you are and where you are going. Look at your achievements and set some goals.

August 1, 2001
7:20 pm
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gypsygirl
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I always have protected myself and have never had an STD.I go to the Doc on a regular basis for endometriosis. and do often get "checked"
I guess I just feel insecure with who I am and want to be close to people, but I just dont want to make the effort to let anyone "IN". so instead of being lonely I choose sex as a way to feel close. I know it is wrong. and I have sworn to stop. I just have really bad days sometimes.

August 3, 2001
4:16 pm
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Cici
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Your post struck a chord in me because I used to have the same behavior patterns. I began this right after I was date-raped almost 3 years ago. It triggered a huge wave of negative emotions in me due to a past history of molestation and another rape that happened when I was 12.

What you describe is common behavior in women who have been sexually assaulted, raped, battered or molested as children.

This may or may not be the case with you, but regardless, if the behavior causes marked distress and affects the rest of your life negatively, it is a problem and you must seek help.

August 3, 2001
11:57 pm
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mico
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the problem is that i find it hard to please women when it comes to sex. i reach orgasm so quickly. i seem just to satisfy myself.what shall i do?

August 5, 2001
1:19 am
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gypsygirl
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CiCi
I was molested when I was a child and I never really talked about it while I was in counseling. I start up the therapy again in about three weeks and this time I plan on coming to terms with it. I have a hole period of my life that I do not remember. I know who my molester was and this person is still in my life, he is a family member. I have little contact with him.Thankyou for responding.

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