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trip with ex
January 21, 2007
6:55 pm
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helpplease
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so, i know this is probably going to sound really silly but my ex and i made plans to go on this trip to a tropical island months ago. we broke up and the trip is on friday. we thought we'd try to be friends and go as friends. we have barely talked since the break up, which was the last week of december. it'll been a month on friday, the day of the trip. i called him today to try and have a discussion about whether this would be a smart idea. i honestly am starting to think it's a horrible idea. i'm finally getting over him and i think it will just lead to reliving the break up if we follow through with this. please talk to me someone. it seems to me like this is a very obvious question, situation. but does anyone thinking anything good could possibly come out of this? waiting anxiously for your response.

January 21, 2007
7:28 pm
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Loralei
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It doesn't sound like a trip to paradise, does it? I really wonder if either of you would enjoy the trip that much if you went together.

Okay, let's look at it from a practical angle. Can one of the tickets be changed to the name of another person for a nominal fee? Who paid for the trip? If only one person paid, then that person 'owns' the trip and can take someone else with them (providing the ticket can change names). If it was a joint payment, perhaps one party could sell their ticket at a discounted price. I realize on such short notice that the above may not be feasible.

I guess a lot of it will depend on how much you want the trip itself. If the primary reason for planning the trip in the first place was for a honeymoon experience, then you'd be better off staying home. If you have a real desire to go to this destination to see the sights and enjoy the weather, then you could go with that frame of mind then you and the ex go your separate ways once there. Try to get a room with 2 beds and just be roommates. Since I don't know the details of how well you two get along, it's really hard to give much of an opinion.

January 21, 2007
10:25 pm
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helpplease
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thank you loralei,
the issue is complicated by the fact that i've started seeing someone new. it's bad enough to go when there's nothing else going on but how am i going to explain this to mr. new guy? i told new guy that old guy might still go but that we hadn't talked about what this trip would look like. part of me wants to go with him because i think we'd have fun but the other part of me thinks that it could be a total and complete disaster. that it would be hard to not get intimate. and that if that indeed occured, that it would really screw up my head. i keep thinking why would i put myself through this. a breakup is bad enough. the trip was actually the ex's idea. but it's a trip to my home...where i grew up.

January 22, 2007
10:12 am
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atalose
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Here are my thoughts, the new guy can only be 3 weeks new unless you were seeing him prior to your breakup at the end of Dec. that just seems too new to quickly for you to be placing importance on your decision about your trip.
The fact that you are even thinking about going tells me, you are not over your ex so there for the new guy shouldn't even count as a factor.
If your thinking your going to have fun, then I think your thinking things might work out for you both if you go on this trip.
You mentioned calling him to talk about the trip but you didn't mention his reaction or what he thinks about it?

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

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