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treated like i dont belong
August 6, 2009
3:06 pm
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jnotr
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September 24, 2010
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it starts at birth my fathers family was lied to and told I was dead,grew up with a stepdad that beat me with a water hose,never had a birthday party,field trips at school I had to stay in the office cause I was never given money to go.never given lunch money.went to the navy mom threw away all my things I had four siblings,and all got everything birthday parties,field trips.my brother out of the house mom kept all his stuff.I was in the navy for one month due too medical discharge.came back my stuff had been thrown away.now at 41 I'm finally done tired of being treated second class when one sister is a drug addict,the other sister gets drunk with her kids. my brothers girlfriends son and my older sister started dating ,he was a thief that robbed stores and was all on the news, mind you this guy is way too young for her so he stole my nephews stuff so I sent him to prison his mom my brothers girlfriend said that she was going to have me killed.We already have lost 2 to violence both murdered but it doesn't matter to them because i'm second class to them.she even calling my mother,mom so I guess I'm on my own

August 6, 2009
3:41 pm
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cancer
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September 27, 2010
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Wow, I can relate to you b/c my story growing up is not that different only thing is I was adopted, but I am proud of the person I am today, work my way through life, nothing handed to me on a silver platter, but from the age of 20, I moved away from all that abuse, I am surprise you are 41 and still there, I know the feeling of wanting to belong to someone any one, who would love me, the little girl inside still cries out, I always felt like an alien looking in from a different world, my point is you need to do for you now and build a life for you independently, be proud of yourself, love yourself and then nothing can touch you.

August 7, 2009
2:42 am
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chelonia mydas
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September 24, 2010
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(((Jnotr)))

I am sorry for the way you have been treated. It doesn't reflect who you are. Because your family has issues, doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you. Not belonging to a family like that is actually a good thing.

I can relate to your situation in many ways. You are not alone in being treated that way by your family. Prior and after my birth, my mom used abortion as birth control- my dad talked her out of it for me- she regretted that decision and held it against me my entire life, hence my family nickname livingabortion. A few years after me (and at least two more abortions) she found god and had two more kids by choice. She treated me like crap all the time while they got loved.

I got out and away from my family as soon as I could. Once I started working on my issues, I discovered that the healthier I became, the healthier the people around me became. Not to say that they were the same people, the messed up folks usually left and I made new healthier friends that weren't interested in the dysfunction that permeated my previous life.

I now live alone and am divorced- but happier than I have ever been. I live in another country from my family and have made a new "family" where I live. I still am in contact with my birth family but no longer engage in their drama.

Have you gone to therapy or read self help books on overcoming abuse? Both has helped me in my journey of healing. This site has also helped.

Keep expecting better for yourself and you will get better. You are worth it.

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