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(trc) needing a little incouragement
January 17, 2006
8:20 am
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trc7802
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Hi! i'm starting to feel like i take 2 step's forward in life only to be pushed back. saturday my husband of who i am seperated from but was trying marrage councilling with got his truck running came to see me . well after he left here he desides to stop by ex girlfriend's house who he cheated on me with in past and is some one who does drug's. well i found out but befor i could ask him why he admitted to going by there. my anger is why go there when you know i would be doubtful . he said it was because needed to make sure w2 form was not sent there from jan. of last year. so we could file taxes because we talked of filing seperate or joint to see what gave us more money. well to make thing's worst girlfriend claim to be seeing him. this is hard because if they are seeing each other it mean's one more lie and he's back on drug's. i'm trying to think clear and not go off and mess up all we have tryed to rebuild in councilling. one part of me say's maybe he was not thinking of how it looked and other part say's no way sould you got over there could of called old job and got w2 resent to new address. please input and help me to maybe understand

January 17, 2006
11:34 am
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CAMER
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does he live with your or not??? and how does he seem with marriage counseling, does he seem like he really wants things to work out???

January 19, 2006
10:54 pm
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trc7802
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Well it's thursday and i got a chance to talk to someone who know's the other woman who he was trying to get with (i guess). he was telling her he was trying to work thing's out with me . then he'd tell her i was not wanting to work it out.(that's a lie,i'm just not jumping in to bed with him)well then he start's missing work and disappering. well i've had it . i'm not doing this again . he's going to say i don't love him and don't give him the support to stay off drug's. i've desided that if he can not be drug free for our son than he's no man at all right now.

January 19, 2006
10:56 pm
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trc7802
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tell's me in councilling how he need's me and want's us to move in together. say's i'm the world to him

January 19, 2006
11:42 pm
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SassyAlex
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trc, sorry to say this, but I was involved with a drug addict who often claimed to be clean when he wasn't. He could have gotten the W2 info another way. An addict who is TRULY in recovery would not put his sobriety in jeopardy by going to a drug user's home. He would be going out of his way to prove to you he can be trusted if he was really in recovery. When dealing with addicts, ANY little sign you get should be taken seriously, these are the best liars out there, and this is more than a little sign. It's a huge sign. He's using, IMO. Good luck.

January 20, 2006
12:38 am
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Shaney
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trc - my bf was doing drugs for a time, a while ago, and as far as I know he hasn't done them since May... but that's not to say that I sometimes don't suspect it. The last few times I suspected anything, I was proven wrong... thank God. But I know what you're going through. It's total hell - you can't believe a word they say, because they have lied so many times in the past for SO many reasons. I hated being a pathetic, third-rate detective - checking up on every story, checking every drawer, every pocket, his truck, digging for the slightest clue so I could catch him. It's no way to live, for me, or for him. I don't personally know how you can get a hold of this situation, other than to take your focus off of him and put it back on to you and your son. Coounseling will do you good, with or without him. If he's using drugs and sneaking around, counseling and everything that he says in counseling is a waste of everyone's time and money. Don't let him drag you down. Is this person that you got this new information from, reliable? Have you asked him yourself? I think that his excuse to go over his ex gf's house was lame - it could have been very true, but there are so many other ways to handle that situation. Regardless, if he's trying to stay clean, that's the last person he should be subjecting himself to. I can't tell you how many stupid reasons my bf came up with for having to see or be around his druggie friends. It's hard, and you seem to have been able to keep your wits about you - at least you aren't jumping into be with him, or moving him back in. That's smart. My suggestion would be to get some answers out of him, regarding the things that you heard. And then ask your therapist what to do. Be true to yourself, because living with an addict is no way to live, my friend.

January 20, 2006
10:19 am
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trc7802
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i asked him how he'd feel to know i talked to a ex with out his knowing he said he'd be angry too. he told me all that she said was not true and i needed to trust him. i told him how when he keep's doing thing's to make me question him.

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