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tornado rachel
October 27, 2001
3:54 pm
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gypsygirl
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September 24, 2010
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If anyone can give me advice on how to take control of this depression thing I would really appreciate it.
I was doing really good for a while and then I started skipping doses of my meds because I cannot afford $80.00 a month for the damn things. Then I found out about this Ben Archer clinic that works on a sliding scale and I got enough meds. But They have not kicked in again yet. Anyway, I have really good days and then there are days when I just want to crawl in a hole and die. I have not had any panic attacks lately, which is good. I am starting to fall behind in school and I am failing my math class. I live in a small town so there are no support groups. I would really like to attend one I am going to counseling, but I feel that I need more. I am attempting to make a list everyday of things that I should be happy about you think that it would be easy since I only have to come up with 5, but it is really f**king hard. My house is a mess, I am starting to do the sex thing again and it just brings me down after the inital high. I have many areas of stress, school,work, being a single parent of a special needs child, finances, men, women, math, I have gained five lbs. and many other things that I do not want to get into. I missed my Appt. the other day at the food stamp office because I simply forgot. they are complete dicks anyway, I work my ass off and get no other help from anywhere and they say I cannot get cash help because I do not work enough hours and if I worked enough hours then I would make too much money. I only get F.S. and medicaid for my son, I cannot get medicaid for myself cause I make too much money. I MAKE $3.00 AN HOUR!!! This is the piont where I really hate our government I am a hard working single mother who is trying desprately to make something of herself and I am barley slipping by and I make too much money? How the fuck does that make sense? AHH! It all just makes me sick.
I am strong and I am a fighter but I am just completely overwhelmed right now. Any advice or words of encourgment?

October 28, 2001
6:14 pm
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pg lova
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September 24, 2010
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Gypsy Girl,

It's gonna be all right, I am going to pray for you. I know what it's like to be making bad money, depressed, on medication, and with many responsibilities. I want you to remeber this if nothing else, GOD loves you, pray to Him, He's waiting just to ease your troubled mind! Speak to that mountain my sister. Sometimes the road may seem too long and the mountain too high and sometimes it seems that you are all alone, but at the darkest hour, you must remember that as long as the universe is under the guardianship of a loving and watchful heavenly father, you are NEVER EVER EVER Alone! God bless u, and I want u 2 b try and strong.

October 29, 2001
11:31 am
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gypsygirl
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September 24, 2010
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pg lova, thank you for your prayers.

Blondie, thank you, I would love to have that web site.
I live in a small town, where there is no psyhe ward and my college is only a branch campus.
I wish that my town had a support group other than AA. Or overeaters A. the nearest place that I could get those kinds of things is an hour away. I am planning on moving there when next semester is over.

I have caught up on my school work, although I am still failing math, but there is always the math lab. I am trying to turn my life around and grab the bull by the horns, whatever made me think that it would be easy?

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