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too much time to think about her
August 30, 2006
7:17 pm
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dragonflygirl
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I recently moved to Florida from Connecticut. My girlfriend and I broke up a few weeks ago but now she is totally ignoring me. Its so hard. I have nights where I call over and over again, only to end up feeling stupid and rejected when she doesn't answer. I don't kow anyone,have no job, no car and am not yet in college... I sit around and feel bad for myself but I have no way of getting out of the house... I feel so alone in this new place.... Any suggestions?

August 30, 2006
7:22 pm
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southgoingzax
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It's terrible to be alone in a new place and dealing with the loss of a relationship. So sorry to hear you are struggling...

Do you live in town or in the suburbs? Is there public transportation? Will you be starting college this semester, or are you waiting to get in next semester?

Try to look through the newspaper for local events, join a free class or two, take a bus to downtown....I don't know, ther must be something for you to do to get your mind off your ex.

What have you tried so far?

zax

August 30, 2006
7:31 pm
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dragonflygirl
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I'm just so afraid of starting over.. Its taking so much courage to start a whole new life. I haven't tried too much. I have horrible anxiety and it prevents me from going out on my own. I live with my Mom so she still supports me money-wise and such.... I'm in a slump. Its so hard to know that her life is moving on and I am sitting around feeling like crap.

August 30, 2006
7:36 pm
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doubleloss
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hi dragon. when i went to college i was feelilng like that, what i did was to take a bus - any bus - and would sit there to the end of the line, taking notes of where I would like to get off, and then take the same bus back and visit the places that got my curiosity. I got to know my new city in no-time and also became friends with the bus drivers. I didn't know a soul.
It's an exciting time in your life, enjoy it! go swimming!

August 30, 2006
7:38 pm
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southgoingzax
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Oh, trust me....I think everyone on this site has felt the same way, that our exes are just going on their merry way while we sit mourning their loss and not being able to get over it.

It DOES take a lot of courage to start a whole new life...I know that I am a pessimist, and so sometimes it's hard to look at change as a potentially positive thing rather than the end of the world.

So you have to take some baby steps. I have read that yoga has been clinically proven to reduce anxiety/panic attacks. You might try to order a dvd and start practicing. Or you might try to go to counseling - your mom should be willing to help you do this...If money is an issue, most colleges have a student-counselor program (for their Ph.D. and M.A. students to get practice) and they have a sliding fee - it may be as little as $5 a session.

Or, get some books from the library on Letting go of Relationships...

Just start somewhere. Try to do one thing a day or a week just for you. Hiding at home will just ensure that you stay sad and lonely.

zax

August 30, 2006
8:11 pm
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Rasputin
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September 30, 2010
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I agree with the rest Drag. Try to get out of home as quick as possible. A few days ago, a new maleneighbor who moved in recently invited me out for coffee and I accepted his invitation. No admiration, well at least on my part. Just for the sake of someone who loves nice people and folks. You can do the same, if you have a nice neighbor who lived in your building/area, you many invite her.

Breaking up is dramatic. I know I was the saddest woman on earth when I broke up with my exbfs. It is very gloomy, depressive period in our life.

However, let's show love to ourselves and recall at all time, that if these lovers were meant to us it would come to pass and vice versa.

Keep your eyes open for any upcoming events of which many are free. Many places offer free concert, music, classicals etc.

Public libraries are free. You can borrow books that would help you to grow and blossom. 'Codependent no more, by Melody Beattie'; 'Women who love too much' by Robin Norwood' are only a few books of many that help you to start over afresh.

Also, you may go to coffee shops and take a book with you in case you're short on friends.

Blessings, Ras~

August 31, 2006
8:39 am
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risingfromtheashes
st regis falls, ny
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dragon,

I live in CT, and my family is relocating to FL in october.

The change has to be hard on your system.....life is different down there....the climate, the environment, the culture....big adjustments.

Try not to focus on what you don't have and focus on what you do - warm sun, sand, beaches, pools, attractions (not all are expensive)....I personally like the sun and sand part....not sure what part of CT you were in, but I would give anything to live near a beach or pool I can use more than six weeks out of the year.

Try to get out and meet people....join clubs, go to library or coffee house or book store to browse...go hang at the beach, play volleyball, etc.

any change is hard, and changing climates can add to the stress.

August 31, 2006
5:02 pm
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doubleloss
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hi dragon, how is it going? feeling better?

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