Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Too much drama
October 28, 2001
5:34 pm
Avatar
pg lova
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Today too much drama took place for me. I had to change my number b-cuz my ex-girlfriend whom I no longer want contact with kept calling and stopping by. I got so fed up that I put on call block and changed my number. I then called her (1st blocking my number w/*67) and told her to stop coming by. My sister was on 3-way with me to witness it. It got out of hand b-cuz the girl was cussing me out and I trying to be calm told her "Don't holler at me, I'm trying to do this respectfully." Anyway, my sister just couldn't take it anymopre and went off telling her "B**** if you come by my brother's house once more, I'll f*** you up myself." Then, the girl told lies that I caught her in and when it was brought out that she was lying, she tried to justify it. My brother who lives with me now, he too cursed her out b-cuz she has been disturbing him too doing all of this. Throughout the ordeal, her brother was on the phone. It seems her family still likes me b-cuz they know what a wonderful person I am and what a crazy psychopath she is. But, I feel that all this going on is crazy, this drama is too much for me to handle. She was stalking me and I don't know what she'll try next. Now, she has stirred up my whole household as we are all ready to go to the police about her and some of them are ready to hurt her. My question is how, if any way can I give her the message thoroughly w/out hurting her feelings so that she will stop stalking me and that all this drama won't go on in my household anymore?

October 28, 2001
5:44 pm
Avatar
pg lova
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Just me again, hit the return button too soon. As I sit here, I am almost in tears (and usually I don't cry over anything but death.) But today, I feel so very overwhelmed. I loved her and I really wanted her to love me, so I put up with her crap b-cuz I wanted it to work. I even bought her a ring to propose and then she started getting crazy. Why do I choose women like this? I don't know, sometimes I feel so unattractive and desperate that I'll take any1 who comes along. But this is crazy b-cuz women tell me all the time that I am a very attractive young man. But all the abuse of my past won't allow me to believe it. So I need to call on God and beseech his guidance, especially right now. If you can help please do, well I gotta go, I'm way too upset to keep writing.

October 28, 2001
11:00 pm
Avatar
damaged
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

It all starts with loving your self first. Once you can do that you can pick anyone you want. You can do anything you want. Worry about your feelings not hers, you are the most important person to you I hope and not her. It's time to move on.

October 29, 2001
10:50 am
Avatar
pg lova
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Blondie,

Allow me to more clearly explain what happened. I did love her and I was crazy about her. But throughout the relationship, she was very possesive and controling, always accusing me of lying, checking up on me to see if I was telling her the truth. Anyway, I got fed up with this as I had explained to her on numerous occasions that I felt hurt that she was doing this. She continued to do it and a week ago, I confronted her like a man and I told her that it was over and I wished for us both to go our seperate ways. She couldn't take this, so she began to get very obsessed and began doing all of the aforementioned. I did tell her from the start that my sister was on the telephone but she chose, chose to talk to me anyway. So I just had my sister witness it. Anyway, things escalated when she began yelling, cursing me out and carrying on. I am not like the typical man, if I want to end it I'm a man about it and tell her rather than ignore her. I find that directness helps. And I am a Pre-Law major in the state of MD. You cannot tape record a conversation without the consent of the party you are speaking to in MD. I don't know what the NY law is. Well, I hope now I have clarified what happened.

October 29, 2001
11:00 am
Avatar
pg lova
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Oh Blondie, I'm sorry I didn't read your comment fully at first. You did say I'd have to tell her she was being tape recorded, so that part of my first response is recanted. Two, I don't think any1 will get arrested for assault if she is harrassing me to the extent that she is. I just needed a witness and didn't know it would escalate like it did. I did not at all intend for it to happen. As for me liking the drama um . . . no. I want a real, loving relationship, I want a wife pretty soon, I want children, I just have a problem finding a correct woman to do this with. Yes, I am a man and when I kept seeing the repeated, persistent pattern she was putting me thru I did end it and was honest about it. As for her family, they even told me that they know how crazy she is and that is why they know that she messed it up not me. Explain that? Yes, many men will do what you mentioned, but not me, I am a man of character and integrity with high principles pertaining to how I live my life.

October 29, 2001
2:12 pm
Avatar
C-Bear
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Blondie W A I T ! Back off this brotha some! It isnt always the males fault there are some females that drive the male away can you dig it? She sounds crazy to me from what I've read so far Im just surprised PG hasnt gone to the police yet. PG go to the police to avoid anymore complications in terms of this matter. I have read your posts and from what you write you seem to be a religious brotha, dont let this psycho shake your faith! Blondie sometimes you gotta accept that the woman can be wrong and in this case the WOMAN not man is wrong don't defend her for her actions.

October 29, 2001
2:32 pm
Avatar
Ronnie
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

CBear I 'm with you there. Blondie that was a low blow don't put it all on him like that. Can you not see that this man is being hurt? Now there are two sides to every story but you make it sound like it's all PG Lova's fault and apparently its not. I am a psychologist and I see that he has low self esteem and that he chooses women who have nothing going and are desperate for someone. Now PG that is a very serious problem and that needs to be addressed. I think someone has hurt you in the past and now you are repeatedly finding people who have many common traits as that person. What you need to do is search deep down inside yourself. Who is that person? What did they do? and How has it affected you? You mentioned that you felt desperate. Don't feel this way you surely can speak better than that of yourself. How can you expect any1 to love you if YOU don't love yourself. So yes, you are responsible for a part of this. You are responsible because you didn't wisely choose, you had her thinking you wanted to marry her yet she was really driving you away. I do counseling for youth how old are you? Maybe you need to email me at [email protected] and we'll talk more.

October 29, 2001
2:37 pm
Avatar
Ladeska
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Well guys...without anyone actually seeing anyone here and really knowing what's up - everyone speaks from their own experience, which personally, I think is a good thing - as long as people can accept it as that. Weed through - take what applies and realize - this medium of communicating is difficult, rather one dimensional...

All that being said - Dude....if you analyze yourself here and feel like you need to go talk to the police, I'd do it and see what they say about stalking in your state.

Above all else, you need to document everything said or done, first and foremost.

Bullies or control freaks always - go off when you say - No or enact a boundary. How dare you? So, expect this.

You picked wrong. That's about the size of it. But, hey - you're young. I wouldn't expect you to necessarily know - how to detect a highly manipulative person, if this is what she is. They are - so charming at what they do - male or female and unfortunately - the only way you learn.....is by going through the fire with one.

Your desperation to get a woman, get married and have kids though - is going to make you a very ripe target....and I'd change outa that suit like - yesterday. Fine to feel that way - but don't be wearing on your sleeve.

As for her - tell everyone to butt out and zip it. You stand behind your boundaries and stop engaging with her altogether. Document everything and if you need to get a restraining order - that's what you do. But....bullies - usually need fuel, so everytime someone goes off on her or engages - she gets more fuel for her fire. So, enough said already.

Underneath all of this pile of stuff is - your abuse issues...you do know that, right? So, what are you doing to address that?

October 29, 2001
6:52 pm
Avatar
pg lova
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Blondie, I can understand where you are coming from. You being a female, and usually it does happen like you said. But I am glad that things are clearer. Anyway, I'm sorry that you are having to live in relocation. The fact is that we sometimes choose the wrong people to trust, not knowing how much of a devastating effect it can have on our lives. To every1 else who has responded thanx for your input. As I sit here typing, I am really feeling it some (the break up that is.) Never did I imagine she could have such a horrible streak to her. Ladeska, I am in counseling right now to address this issue and Ronnie, it's ironic that you should say that because in counseling that's what my counselor said, he said that "someone from a distant past has really hurt me and unconciously I am trying to recreate that person and change what has happened." I don't know what's wrong, I was happy while she wasn't there. Then, she came and I was even happier, the air was clearer, etc and I even bought a ring to propose and when she saw me do that, all of a sudden she felt like she could manipulate me like I was her "sucker." Now, I'm hurt. I met this other girl the other day in my class and we study together. Anyway, I can tell from how she looks at me and smiles and things that she might want to get to know me better. But, now I have a problem opening up to people. I just can't do it right now and it's ashamed because she is a very intelligent, articulate, and attractive young lady and I'm pretty sure we would enjoy each other's company, just not right now!!!!!!! And that's hard because never in my life have I been hurt like this in terms of relationships, I mean sure I've had some to hurt me extremely badly but this hurt is much deeper rooted. What will I do? I don't really know I just want to be okay. And, when it first happened there was a lot of support from my friends and relatives in terms of being able to talk, and cry on their shoulder if I needed to, etc. But, now things have somewhat gotten back to normal and I am left seemingly alone to deal with my heart ache. I know they care about me but I can't always concern them with my problems because that wouldn't be fair to them, so I told them I was all right. I also just don't like to whine to people b-cuz that gets on their nerves eventually. I don't know what'll happen next, heck I just live from day to day not worrying about tommorrow, I can't see what's coming but I confide in God who controls what's coming.

November 1, 2001
11:16 pm
Avatar
pg lova
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Blondie,

I did read that frame and I must say my heart goes out to that young man. So many things that hurt us in life and no matter what we must put all of our trust in God, the Almighty creator. I say simply "I don't know what lies ahead but confide in who controls what lies ahead. So I won't worry." Well, I gotta go for now, I gotta do some school work. God Bless

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
27
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110922
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38536
Posts: 714207
Newest Members:
Corties, patrickstayes, kevinkovalsky, izzy39, RoyFollman, kevin021
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer